Should I give up on making female friends?

Post Reply New Topic

That could cause problems. I accept that what I propose seems difficult. Have you tried meditation? A fairly small investment of my time in that practice made a big difference for me.

It seems like girls can't become your friend at this time. It will require doing a bit of work to change yourself to change that. You can choose to spend your energy defending your good reasons for feeling the way that you do, or you can use that energy to try something new.

The signals you send people probably operate below the conscious level. Working through some of your repeated self-negating thought patterns will remove some big obstacles to making friends.

I have done meditation but not recently.

You need to understand that the Bible Belt is a very restrictive place. Going past certain boundaries is not encouraged; in fact, they are considered punishable.

I just literally can't stop thinking about my loneliness. Just how much longer will I have to go through before things get better? I feel like I flunked out on tests life gave me and because of that I only have isolation for the rest of my life until I exit.

I lived in Texas for 40 years. Since I got out, I have wondered why it took so long to leave.

You literally can have more control of your mind. I firmly believe that it will help a lot. You have to decide every day where to direct your energy.

So shouldn't you understand how it feels like I don't fit in with the Bible Belt culture and why I don't feel encouraged to be my own person?

I always got the feeling that if I missed out on dating and the psychosocial moratorium in my developmental years that I missed out permanently on dating and friendships for the rest of my life.

I believe that I do understand.

Getting back to the YouTube issue, I would bet that you have a front page filled with rage, despair, and criticism. You could also find videos filled with encouragement and support for your individuality, but only if you let the algorithm know that your interests have changed.

You can't sell me the idea that you live in a hopeless situation. You could probably sell the idea to yourself, though.

Going into this practice lusting for immediate results will create obstacles to success. Instead, find ways to enjoy the practice for itself.

I feel like Salieri did in Amadeus. He was given a strong desire to be a great musician but the talent was denied. I feel like I was given a desire for human contact but for some reason the universe denies me it.

I really don't. Roaming Millenial, Andy Warski, Blaire White, and AnnaMae Renee do not fall under those categories except for criticism but they criticize SJWs. I like them because they speak out against the morons who think I am a Donald Trump Jr. and want me to kill myself. If any of those SJWs could live a day in my shoes, it would shatter-no, VAPORIZE their paradigm.

But can't you see why I feel hopeless? From what I've seen, most people in their 20's are dating, having sex, and getting engaged or are already married while I can barely even get a conversation going. I really feel like I've fallen too far behind and I will never catch up or that I've already ran out of time because I didn't get to go through the psychosocial moratorium. I feel damaged beyond repair and am simply dragging myself along until I break apart fully.

I feel like too many doors have closed on me.

That's a great sales pitch for a terrible product: hopelessness.

If you would rather argue that you have no options but obsessive rumination and despair, you will probably win that argument. You have other options, unless you prefer to convince yourself otherwise.

What part of my post are you referring to?

I was a late bloomer. I got to the point that I could barely talk to people in my early to mid teen years and missed out on a lot. I didn't have real life friends for a period of time until age 16 and still had a very sheltered existence with little exposure to typical social situations. In college, I backslid and made no new friends. I only had 1 girlfriend that went nowhere and only lasted 2 months. I feared I missed out and would go nowhere. I had depression and social anxiety, too.

Well... I applied myself pretty hard the last 2 years. I worked on my mental problems with my therapist and a variety of self-help books and web sources, and joined Meetup groups and found 1 that I stuck with. After 10 years of not even trying to date because I thought it was pointless, I joined some online sites at the beginning of 2016. I've changed a lot. I'm much more open and less afraid of people. It took over a year, but I'm in a quasi-relationship now and as I mentioned before it's gotten physical. I still have areas to work on, but I'm doing far better.

The point is you're not the only one who's felt like this, and that just because you think it's hopeless doesn't mean it is. Granted, none of us can necessarily convince you of this. You have to convince yourself. If you're just going to read all this advice and say "I already did all that, I'm hopeless", then I'm not sure what you expect from us.

NT women and I don't click.

My life seems immune to change. I've tried meetup.com, going back to school, speed dating, and other things that others recommend if I want to get out of my social rut but nothing ever works out for me.