What's the big deal about weddings and marriage ?

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CleverKitten I grew-up and got married in VA.Beach and there are alot of nice out door places you can use there for free. I got married in the backyard of the justice of the peaces house in pongo just over 13 yrs ago. Other then her fee it was free to use her yard, it was a nice garden with a beautiful gazebo. She was a older lady so I'm not sure if she's still doing that. I've had friends get married in seashore state park and other state parks in the area all very beautiful weddings and you can even have you reception outdoors using the tables already there. I had mine indoors at the rec center very cheep to rent the only thing was they didn't alow alcohol but the groom and I were both under 21 so it didn't realy matter. That and getting my husbands family in one room was hard with out tossing booze in to the mix. It also cut the costs to make our own trays of cheese, cold cuts ,fruit and veg. We kept the cost under $600s. Best of luck and it doesn't matter what you spend it's all about who you marry . Oh ask around an see if any of your friends know a baker lots of people to that on the side, it cuts the cost of the cake alot. A cupcake tower would be cool too then you can have a lot of flavors and it's would be fairly easy to put on together at home they sell the stands at craft stores and walmart. also there was a wedding wearhouse store in Norfolk years ago not sure if it's still there but it would worth looking in to. I got alot of good stuff cheep in there and they had alot to pick form.

I am the baker! I already baked a two-layer wedding cake for a family wedding and everyone loved it. Baking my own cake also allows me to get exactly what I want, exactly how I want it.

I already have my outfit picked out.
Dress- $58
Shoes- $48
Crown- $30
Flowers- $2.00 (Because I'm making the flowers out of pages ripped from any ol' romance novel, and some green wire. They should look like this: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v408/ ... ouquet.jpg )
Hairstyle- Free. I can style my own hair.
Makeup- Only the cost of the cosmetics I'll be using. I can do my own makeup.

Photography- Free! Many of the family members can take good pics, and I am an avid photographer myself.

All I have to worry about is my fiance's outfit, planning, invitations, decorations, favors, and the venue. But the state park sounds like a great idea. I did have a kind of casual outdoor wedding in mind...

Easy peasy!

The wearhouse in Norfolk had all of that for a good price <not the tux> walmart also has a big wedding section and I've alway though that filling out the invitations by hand is nicer and more personal anyway these can be found at walmart or a craft store. The baskets for the flower girls are cheeper and nicer at the craft store, I bought some plain ones and added ribbon and little roses that cost us under $10 the ones at the wedding store cost $10 each and weren't as nice. My neice still uses hers on her dresser for odds and ends. Best of luck and have fun try not to stress out about it's just a party!

I love my husband, but for us a marriage is only a legal formality so we had a nice small wedding in front of the bare minimum of witnesses at the Justice of the Peace (no family ).

I love to travel, so I understand the point of honeymoons, but the price of a big wedding is money one could put towards a down payment on a house or starting your own business.

Just my two centavos.

My guess on why people make such a big deal about weddings is partially tradition, people are taught there whole lives that there wedding day is one of the most important days of there life. When society hypes up a particular event, its a much bigger deal in many peoples minds then it should be. I think now days marriage is becoming less of what it used to be. The divorce rate is so high plus there are people that do that cheap marriage in Vegas thing.

I think what would be better, no dumping money on a stupid ceremony that would just stress me out like a ton. Just sign the legal documents and go straight to the honeymoon of vacationing somewhere. It dosent have to be an expensive honeymoon. I'd rather just spend my time with my special someone that having to make a fuss about a wedding, besides I hate being the center of attention. But on the otherhand, if I dont hold a ceremony my moms gonna freak. But heck Im only 20 I dont have to deal with that till years from now.

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE FEELS THE SAME WAY I DO ABOUT WEDDINGS/MARRIAGE!
Zerostanzi has a point with what she said. another issue i got with marriage is what's with the white dress? i hate wedding dresses in general and i don't like WHITE!
what's up with that?!

Last edited by ttqs84 on 20 Aug 2009, 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Weddings don't have to be expensive, difficult to plan, or have to have a white-dress.

Weddings can actually be very cheap, and quite simple. For example: A couple of friends in the backyard with some balloons and a licensed person to marry the bride and groom. (In some states, you can have your best friend or whomever you want licensed for a small fee!) The bride can wear a white dress, a yellow dress, a green polka-dotted dress, jeans and a tank top, a sweater, a bathing suit, or anything s/he wants! The groom can wear anything s/he wants!

About the cake? Why just a cake? Why not cupcakes, cookies, a fruit platter, meatloaf, anything?


Making so much of a negative fuss about weddings is ridiculous. Of course, making such a hype about it is also ridiculous.

I'm scared of big elaborate weddings....
I would like to have a life-bond mate of the male variety and kids in the future but it's just that weddings are so scary!
I hate wearing dresses. White or otherwise.

But I think the Fog should be used instead of Here comes the bride. Everyone uses that.

Really what would matter more to me is being with the right person.
But I don't think I'd mind presents. Especially an electric guitar.. or books like those absolute Sandman books... Maybe I could have a reception we could leave early

That is once I find someone to marry.

This is something I have thought about often over the years.

It might be just me, but I value smaller, simpler, more intimate and heartfelt ceremonies more, and the weddings I have enjoyed the most have been like that, a simple ceremony, small group of cloe friends and family, and a smaller reception of some variety. Actually the best receptions are where you just book a big table at a restaurant without all of the formalities, no speeches, no reading out messages from absent friends and relatives, no dancing, just eating and drinking and laughing.

So if I ever end up marrying, a small ceremony, hopefully up in the mountains or the rainforest, surrounded by nature, no ill fitting and itchy uncomfortable suits, no long drawn out ceremony, just something where I don't feel overloaded by too many people.

Gives me an idea for a business, an aspie wedding planner...

john

Oh god a wedding would be a nightmare to me. I hate the clothing, I hate having my picture taken...ugh. The only thing I like about a wedding is eating non-welfare foods at a reception.

I was asked to be maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I said no. You couldn't pay me enough to get me to put on that kind of dress...or most kinds of dresses. I ended up wearing some very nice dress slacks to that.

NT women love to dress up, be pampered -why do I hate that word so much!- and be the centre of attention for a day. Even if that means they will be paying it off for years to come.
The way I see it, weddings are just another fact of life that some clever people/companies use to make big money, like the birth of a child, going to uni, etc
When my hubby and I decided to get married, we were partial to the idea of having a secret wedding. I mean dropping by the registry office just the two of us, having a romantic week, etc.
Then, we started thinking we werent going to be able to live with the lie. We would end up telling our families and couldn't fathom how stressful was going to be dealing ad eternum with their recrimination for not telling them we'd got married.
We decided to tell our families exactly one month before the wedding. It was going to be around New Year. So this gave them no time to book anything bigger than a restaurant. We said NO party, no dress, no flowery stuff, no pictures (though we had to relinquish to these), no silly disco dance.
Operation completed. We took a sabbatical and didnt see them til the following year

Well to start with, nobody who thinks that it's probably not going to last should be getting married in the first place!
Secondly.. there can be nice weddings that aren't ridiculously expensive and stuff.
My parents got married by a judge in an arboretum, and they have nice pictures of their wedding and stuff, but my mom is totally not the type of woman to make a big fuss out of girly stuff or anything.. I think it's about family memories and stuff. I guess that if you don't have much i the way of family and friends, that doesn't mean much. But getting married should be one of the most important things that ever happens to you. It means you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you're making that commitment. Shouldn't you celebrate that?
I guess for a girl who has girlfriends and stuff, it should also be like a bonding thing with them as well, and for younger brides, kinda a coming-of-age thing as well.
But depending on size and formality and how much can be done without professional assistance, I think it's possible to have a nice wedding that isn't crazy expensive. It's supposed to be a celebration!

I was sent a fancy invitation to a bridal shower, and in the invitation, there was all this stuff about what we were expected to buy for them...a registry....The person getting married is a long-time acquaintance...but I have little-to no desire to go out of my way to go to a fancy department store and buy some expensive thing from this list of expensive things that they want us to buy for them...

I am most likely never getting married...

As for other people's weddings, even at the coolest wedding I ever went to, with the Mediterranean buffet, and Gamelan orchestra, I got several funny looks from the family of the bride, and people kept asking me if I made my own dress...

I don't get it either. They're expensive, it must be a nightmare to plan, and then to put up with all the people, noise, and everything. Not to mention what comes afterward. yuck.

I don't understand what the big deal is either. I can understand people wanting to get married to eachother as they are committing to their love, however i don't understand the need to share the event with a ton of people.