I have a friend who I think has Asperger's....
I go to college in Florida and there's a young man in my class who I believe has Asperger's. He tends to ramble occasionally, say random things, and the biggest thing is that he rocks 90% of class. I know a lot about Asperger's because my mother once thought I had it and I researched it, so I did explain to a few of the other students who were talking about how annoying it is that he rocks and such, explaining in simple terms that to ask him to just stop rocking is like asking someone with ADHD to just sit down and be quiet. The young man is quite smart, I know, but other students tend to react to his being different just like you'd expect -- mocking (behind his back) or trying to avoid him. I wanted to talk to him about how he's coped with the social difficulties in his past and if he tried to stop rocking or improve his social skills, but I'm not sure of the best way to approach the topic. I just know that he's very determined to succeed in this major and, knowing what it's like to say something and then realize three seconds later that it wasn't the right thing to say, I'd like to help him out if I can. Any suggestions? Thanks!
general_piffle
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 45
Location: London's famous London
I don't see anything wrong in just chatting with him about it. Perhaps a way to introduce the idea would be to tell him that you were once suspected of having AS and consequently read a lot about it, and although you could be completely wrong 'think' that he displays some of the characteristics. It's something he may have wondered about himself so the concept may not be totally alien to him. Go gently and good luck.
I think it's great you're interested in being an ally.
I would suggest letting go of what you think he needs... and just letting him know if there's anyway you can help him, you're willing. You might find he has no problem with what people think of his rocking, but would like some help with how to tell who's a friend and who's not.
I find that what I most need is an ally willing to help me understand the mysterious ways of the NTs, sort of a translator... not an ally who wants to fix or change me.
Just be a friend, not a fixer. You can help each other better that way.
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