The dumb husband award

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goes to... my husband when he says my abdominal pain after I was diagnosed with suspected endometriosis was psychosomatic. I expected to hurt so that's why I hurt.

So why was I in so much pain before I was diagnosed? (Note: suspected endometriosis because it was seen on ultrasound but cannot be officially "diagnosed" until after confirmation via laprascopic surgery and biopsy.)

But this is the same man who said I had no reason to be tired in early pregnancy and was only throwing up because I'd read that pregnant women get morning sickness.

I have also been diagnosed with IBS, which of course may actually be due to endometriosis, and fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is definately "in my head" because it's neurological. But that doesn't mean it isn't "real" or that it's "psychosomatic."

I really don't have any female "friends" in the true sense. I have no one to talk to about this except a co-worker. I seemed rather unempathetic when she went through this because i didn't know what else to say besides, I'm sorry. So I don't feel comfortable asking for her empathy now. Especially since my endo doesn't involve ovaries or fallopian tubes, so I had no problems getting pregnant and she will never have a child.

I would be ravingly pissed off too. Some support you got, huh? You're suffering and then he adds emotional pain to your physical pain.

I hope he learns some compassion and/or empathy.

I also hope you're taking good care of your emotional health by doing nurturing things for yourself.

A grown man who discounts his wife's diagnosed medical conditions as being "all in your head?" This guy isn't just dumb, he's an active danger to your health and well-being. You don't mention if you have family with whom you're close -- if you do, get in touch, even if just by phone or email. Tell them what's going on. You'll need the support system, even if for just a few minutes a week. Also, contact your doctor about support groups for endrometriosis and fibromyalgia -- they'll be a good source of education for both of you. If you restrict yourself to only hearing your husband's negative opinions, pretty soon it will tear you down and you'll start to believe him. If he continues to be this unsupportive, you may want to look into marriage counselling, as well. It's hard, but this kind of thing needs to be dealt with early.

Regards,

Patricia

That's a very maddening (and sanity challenging?) perspective for a mate to have! I'm sorry for you.

I'm not sure what to say about this. I probably would have bopped him on the head if he had said that to me.

Where does he get off telling you that you aren't feeling the pain?

You are you and thus know what your body feels, he is him and only knows what is going on in his body. Have you explained this fact to him? Anyway, regardless of what he says, mind yourself and try keep as well as you can.

My first thought is to kick him in the you know whats and tell him the "pain" is all in his head, but thats not very productive. The one with something wroung in the head is your husband. If you think it's worth the time and he might be will to change I sugjest couples therpy. If not it would be much much easy to deal with the phycial pain with out the added mental abuse and don't kid yourself this is abusive behavoir. You talked about being able to have children and you got to realy ask yourself if this is the guy you want to father them. Think about someone talking the way he does to you to your child one day. Please vaule your self and your childern not to live like this.

My ex was like that.

Nuff said.

I'd hurt him. O.O I'd have to!!
How condescending!!