Can Asperger people become emotional manipulators?

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Dylbea
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21 Jun 2009, 12:08 pm

I'm dying to know.



WillWasHere
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21 Jun 2009, 12:08 pm

Dylbea wrote:
I'm dying to know.


What kind of manipulation do you mean?



Maggiedoll
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21 Jun 2009, 12:19 pm

Depending on how you mean it, I don't think so. Everyone is different, and maybe there are some manipulative aspies, but I don't think that manipulation is likely from an aspie. However, Asperger's syndrome and Borderline Personality Disorder can look very, very similar at first glance, and borderlines definitely ARE manipulative.

However, if what you mean is "Can somebody with AS learn to mimic social skills and 'manipulate' people into believing that they are an NT" or "Can somebody with AS make somebody feel manipulated," then I'd have to answer yes. Also, someone with AS is quite likely to give incorrect impressions on things (act like they're interested in something they're not, act like they're not interested in something they are, etc) but this is more likely to be something very unintentional that is simply a result of not knowing how to express themselves in a normal manner. For example, an aspie who wants to be liked and wants to have friends may give the impression of romantic interest even if they have none. It's not that they're trying to give that impression, it's that showing interest in people is difficult, particularly that correct balance. It's something that's difficult for NTs, as well, but is much more pronounced in aspies. An aspie may have been told that they seemed too aloof and uninterested in people, make an effort to seem more interested, and therefore seem to be "leading someone on" in their effort to show interest in other people.



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21 Jun 2009, 12:25 pm

It is easy to manipulate primitive neurotypical minds. It is as easy to manipulate most Aspies. You do not need to be witty, fun or dress expensely. All you need to do is to attack one individual or group. Since human beings are pack animals, power is given to people who decide who is going to have high position and who is going to have low position.

Just attack group which is viewed unfavourably by majority, and stress to them their imminent death if not threat is neutralised.

Fear is keyword. If you want to manipulate, use fears of people.



LivingOutsideTheBox
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21 Jun 2009, 12:46 pm

I second Zyborg here. My Grandma is a pretty good manipulator(Cult Leader) and both me and my brother seem to have "inherited" this talent. I just have too much doubts over using them. I know that when I use them, there's no going back. My brother's had a more dire time in school, and eventually had to go to the Dark Side. ANd I do call it the dark side, because once you're about 20 or something, and you've had to socialize a lot, you realize how people think, and you can act on it without even you noticing. If you hate someone enough, you're gonna be manipulative by accident, or at least get an "idea" how to eff them up in a VERY insightful way.

Aspies lack empathy, so we can view humans more mechanically, and don't get the backlash of feeling the pain of others when we Cartman them.

Go watch "Scott Tenorman Must Die"



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21 Jun 2009, 1:06 pm

I have been known to manipulate people without even trying to do so. Also, if I really want someone to do something, I can make it happen without much trouble.

Just because our empathy isn't always "on" doesn't mean that we cannot be manipulative. We see how people react in certain situations and we can manipulate that knowledge to our advantage.


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millie
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21 Jun 2009, 1:16 pm

^ i think manipulation implies intent, so i am not sure it is possible to "unintentionally manipulate."



Willard
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21 Jun 2009, 1:36 pm

millie wrote:
^ i think manipulation implies intent, so i am not sure it is possible to "unintentionally manipulate."


Oh, I think humans in general have some tendency to manipulate each other pretty much constantly - guilt being the most common weapon of choice - but if by manipulation we're referring to some labyrinthine Machiavellian sort of scheming, Aspies are probably the most unlikely category of personalities to engage in that. That requires a focused and sustained psychological energy that goes against the very nature of the disorder.

Personally, I can't even muster the will to put aside my disgust and engage in common brown-nosing to keep a job.



MizLiz
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21 Jun 2009, 1:38 pm

People are essentially systems. There are only a set number of ways a person will react in any sort of situation. We can learn that. People won't jump out of the window if you say hello, for example and they won't kiss you if you stab them. Society is also a system. We can learn to manipulate a system.

I'm one hell of a manipulator and it's so much fun because I'm the one you'd least suspect. Sometimes I think I'm half sociopath half autistic. :lol:



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21 Jun 2009, 2:26 pm

I think that most Aspies have a great sense for fair play and are refreshingly too blunt and direct to manipulate anyone. They simply don't have room for it.


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21 Jun 2009, 2:36 pm

I'm confused with the word become.... :?

Anyway the answere to the question is yes. I've had it happen to me quite a number of times amongst aspies especially online. I think passive agressive behavior is probably far more easier to pull off than it would if you were to confront that person or as I use the term call them out when getting even or bullying that person.


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millie
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21 Jun 2009, 2:58 pm

^ I actually agree with Misconstrue.
I got completely hoodwinked,manipulated and done over by another "aspie" online...
It has taken me quite a lot to get over it. In short, I was manipulated and lied to and because of my naivety, taken in and was as usual, all too childlike and giving. There was a lot of dishonesty, lying, infidelity and general manipulation and any challenge about it was met with "I am autistic and I cannot help how I am" as the prevailing attitude.

they may have had some other personality disorder or the like. I got really creeped out when they talked about 'getting back at people" in a long and sustained process of strategising. Planning. it really irked me. I told them to put their energy into more positive pursuits.

Eventually, I cottoned on to the situation and got out. I've never looked back.



Last edited by millie on 21 Jun 2009, 3:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Zyborg
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21 Jun 2009, 3:21 pm

JetLag wrote:
I think that most Aspies have a great sense for fair play and are refreshingly too blunt and direct to manipulate anyone. They simply don't have room for it.


If you think all Aspergians are like you, you are idiot.

There are some general characteristics and different neurological wiring. But you do certainly not have same personality as me, and most likely neither of us has same personality as for example subhuman Christian Chandler or chess master Bobby Fischer.

It is only feel-good therapists who say that all aspies are nice little vegetables who like maths and to have special interests.



WardenWolf
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21 Jun 2009, 3:26 pm

Some aspies have very strong empathy. If that empathy is used for selfish or evil purposes, then yes, they can become emotional manipulators. It all depends on the personality of the individual.


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21 Jun 2009, 3:34 pm

Manipulation isn't necessarily evil or selfish. Diplomats manipulate people all the time, as do politicians (who, contrary to popular belief, are not necessarily selfish).

Edit: Or, better yet, suicide counsellors. Are they evil?


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Zyborg
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21 Jun 2009, 3:38 pm

MrLoony wrote:
Manipulation isn't necessarily evil or selfish. Diplomats manipulate people all the time, as do politicians (who, contrary to popular belief, are not necessarily selfish).

Edit: Or, better yet, suicide counsellors. Are they evil?


Exactly, good and evil are not absolute, but dependent on situation. If you could prevent death of 3 billion human beings by killing 30 million people, it is good thing to kill 30 million people.