Envious of Neurotypicals

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I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have loads of frieds and to age gracefully with many many friends find a girl easioly get married have some kids and finally have a job that lasts longer than three months.

But then I find it will be an absolute contradiction and an oxymoron because it is so obtainable we are born this way to achieve greater things as most of us can gladly say we are all gifted intellectually and I am proud of that, I am proud to be visually impaired and autitic because normality is overated

QFT. You are a wise man.


That's how I do it, too. And I think that's how a lot of people with AS at least try to do it.



...yet you use the term 'neuro'?


If you were a "neuro," you wouldn't be who you are today. You might be wishing that you weren't so flipping "normal" that you blend in with everyone else. And how is being bad yet understanding the rules any better?

We have to cater to our strengths to remain sane. Not everyone is good at the same things, and thank goodness for that! Think of how boring the world would be if we were.

...yet you use the term 'neuro'?

Yup, that word doesn't bother me as much.

I am starting to think that what many folks here are really suffering from is emotional abuse. Perhaps some perpetrated by misunderstanding parents, and certainly many at the hands of bullies. But you have a condition that you can blame it on, and an ever ready name for the enemy. And I expect it was probably one, or two, or perhaps several neurotypicals, though I am sure there were exceptions, that were the source of your problems, but you have generalized your opinions to the entire neurotypical world population. Don't worry. This is normal human behavior. Everyone does this at one time or another.

It has taken me a few decades to move past my distrust of males, and I haven't fully gotten there yet. I have felt for over 30 years that if I let a member of the average male population see the real me, I would be bullied, and/or rejected again. And this was from the treatment I received at the hands of a few male peers in public school, plus my kid brother questioning everything about me that he didn't understand which was almost everything, and my Dad acting now and then, like he didn't quite know how to relate to his first born son.

You see, I might have some idea of what you are going through. The only difference might be that I had no diagnosis to blame things on, so I concluded that my problem was that I was useless crap. But fortunately for me, I wasn't; and neither are you.

Of course. If I have it all wrong, please disregard this post.

I'm not envious of them at all though they do fascinate me , I like to go have a beer at bar/pub (alone) and watch them do their thing like flirting some times I feel embarrassed for them at other times I am in amazement of their skills. I can't understand why some people here "hate" NT yes I do find them tiresome and a lot of work and yes they destroyed/tormented me growing up though personally I don't hate them, perhaps these people have some sort of underlying mental condition? or perhaps are trolls?

I know this thread is a year old but I only joined in early 2010 so I still haven't had the chance to write a post in all the threads I want. (I hate it when people write ''this thread is so-and-so old'' instead of just resuming the thread).

Anyway - I get very, very jealous of NTs. I'm always spending Friday nights in my room, while all my NT cousins are out and about on the streets. And as much I wouldn't like to join them, I still wish I was social enough to want to join them, if that makes sense. But I'm not, and I have had a go at hanging out with rowdy teenagers with my cousins but it didn't work and I got bored out of my head and nobody talked to me, and I knew it just wasn't my cup of tea to hang about in the town at night, and in any case, none of them talked to me really. I tried to talk to them, but they were all established to eachother, and had nothing to say to me and I had nothing to say to them because they were the type of people who had nothing in common with me and would never want to hang out with me if I was the last person on Earth. Obviously, if I was NT, I might be able to know how to make conversation with them on cue, and then be able to mix better, but somebody like me can't. I've got a touch of Autism in me - I can't suddenly turn myself into the life and soul of the group and become liked by typical NT teenagers. It's emotionally impossible for me. It's the complete opposite of who I am.

This is why I hate having Aspergers - it emotionally jeopodises me from ever being able to go out and mix with NTs of my peers, even if I wanted to. If I decided to put myself through hell again by going out with my NT cousin and all her mates, I will soon get called ''X's shy and unconfident cousin'', or, worse yet, ''X's weird cousin''.

It's best I just don't exist in their lives, then I wouldn't have to keep putting on a front all the time.

And people say Aspergers is nothing to be ashamed of!!

envious of NTS!!??? im sorry but, wth are you talking about? THEY SHOULD BE ENVIOUS OF US!! !??? as my friend jamal said "we get all the bootay"

I don't know how to explain why I am envious of them, but there a hundred different reasons why.
Here's a few:-

Most NTs have:-
-Self-control
-Normal social cues
-Don't give off ''I'm Weird'' vibes in public

By ''self-control'' I mean they don't get angry/jealous/upset easily of trivial things. The other day my auntie announced she got chatted up by a man, and it threw me into a mini meltdown because I want to be the one being chatted up by men but my stupid ''Hello I Am A Weirdo'' vibes makes them run a mile.
Stupid vibes!! !! ! How can one give off vibes when just standing there looking not one iyota different to any other human being?But apparently we still do - ohh that is the biggest thing I hate about having it! Makes me feel agoraphobic.

I don't personally see why people should be envious of NT's when nobody on earth is perfect people now a days are weird in general.

Well I've never said that all NTs are perfectly normal and cool, because they are not. Neurotypical just means someone who ain't diagnosed with a neurological disability, it does not mean they are really perfect in every way. But I still wish I was the same sort of NT as the rest of my family are. Nobody in my family are weird really. I'm just finding it hard to adapt to being an Aspie in a family full of happy-go-lucky NTs (lucky in social-wise).

[quote="Michjo"]Being passive is a personality trait, i don't think it has much to do with autism. Many of my problems with holding jobs and whatnot, are actually caused by me being the opposite of passive. When a confrontation happens, people usually wish they hadn't of started crap with me and most people usually end up backing down. I made a customer cry at my last work place

I can understand the being envious, it's always greener on the other side, but you shouldn't be envious of NT's, you should be envious of people who have the traits you wish you had[/b][/b].[/[/b]quote]

That's exactly it. I'm NT (I think, anyway), but I'm not very assertive. They have books, in fact, for NT's on how to be more assertive. Sometimes, when someone says something rude to me, I don't say something to "put them in their place". I'll go home and think about what I should have said to them.

I just can't handle the fact that I am the one in the family with the least ability to make friends. It's just constantly bothering me and I don't even know why.