Want a family, but have no idea how to meet women at 28.

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Hey-

I wouldn't mind meeting a woman and having a family but I have had some abusive relationships (verbally and emotionally) and my sensory problems prevent me from haveing sex. I am still a virgin. Any advice?

Wouldn't be so worried about sensory issues interfering with sex - but enabling yourself to get to a point where in the eyes of a woman it would be plausible to have sex..

If you are at that point - then girls most of the time would be flexible to issues/ideas.

Yeah, not my last girlfriend. She would start being really mean to me because I did not want to be intimate. Of course, she was pressuring me into a relationship which I guess is a red flag.

Meeting them isn't a problem, but getting them not to look down on me is difficult. There's that body language thing that causes problems even as I improve physically and financially. I had problems with that just earlier today. I don't know how to fix it or what it is that comes across badly. I fear the effort I've made to improve, such as finishing my PhD and going to the gym, is going to things that women will ultimately not appreciate.

What is appreciated? What is it about a guy who smokes, drinks and breaks up the furniture that makes him more appealing than a guy who takes care of himself and can buy or build a house? (Yes, I actually know someone who made that choice) Is it human nature to prefer the lesser things?

Didn't you ever watch Forest Gump sqrannel? Its sort of that unending fate of all humans - to not be perfect and do what only feels right/best, even if it isn't right/best. Guys do it, girls do it - its human nature to be IMPERFECT....

Somehow I have a feeling that I'm going to be in the same situation 9 years from now. And I like to think I'd pick the person who can build a house, that could really come in handy. Maybe in spite of all the evolving that we've done, we're still cavepeople deep down? Kind of sad.

I think your working on the wrong things, when it comes to meeting women. Having a PhD is really nice and all, but that put's you above, and out of a lot of people's league. Also, women like guys that work out, but I don't think it's a real requirement to finding one. About the financial thing, sure there are gold digger's out there that will love the idea that you have money, but this shouldn't matter to the right one.

Work on your social skills, making new connections, and finding new hobbies/interests. I have been working on this for awhile now, and it has opened a lot of new doors for me.

For example, you take up a new interest, and make a new friend while doing this...well, this friend happens to know a girl that is single.

Last edited by SilverStar on 13 Jul 2009, 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't want a family, but have no idea how to meet women at 35.

You are not alone.

I'm obviously not qualified to offer any advice, so...

I'm 26...but you'd have to be desperate if you were a guy....

I have often wondered this. I am tall, muscular, educated and intelligent, have good clothes, don't smoke/drink, have a decent car, etc. and have no clue what more I can do.

Yet every skinny rapper kid with no brains who is drinking and drugging constantly has no problem getting a woman. I have no advice