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SanityTheorist
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11 Dec 2012, 7:53 pm

I often escape into my fantasies and such. My favorite is where I am with my tulpa, a half raven/half phoenix that has telepathy. Together we just create things, music, visual art, environments, whatever. It's like LittleBigPlanet, whatever I wish to be created can be made.

Might be why I have issues with delusions...


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AceX
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12 Dec 2012, 11:46 am

I thought I had AS... and later I realized that depersonalization disorder describes me pretty I accurately ....

Then I read the scizoid personality disorder description . Finally.

It seems that children of neglectful parents develop this disorder.... (my mother was abusive)

They feel detached from the world just like depersonalization disorder and commonly develop autistic thinking (Hence I thought I was aspie)



Luci
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12 Dec 2012, 11:54 am

I remember it happened to me sometimes when I was a child. I just suddenly felt, for a minute or so, like nothing was real and like I was somehow outside reality, not a real person, that I didn't exist and like there was no reality, it was just this very, very unreal, strong feeling. I found it very interesting then and I found I was sometimes able to induce the strange feeling simply by thinking 'nothing is real' repeatedly. But later on in my life it didn't work anymore, and I have never experienced it since.



whirlingmind
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12 Dec 2012, 12:52 pm

Although I can't find anything 'official' about it, there does seem to be a lot of anecdotal information out there about people with Asperger's having derealisation. Me and my daughter's all get it and are all on the spectrum.


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richardbenson
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12 Dec 2012, 2:03 pm

Now that I dont drink anymore my anxiety and related disorders are gone man. they've defently lightend up there role in my life and I am happy they did. My obsessive collecting and wanting are always by my side now, but why? I didnt envite them to this party!



antonblock
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12 Dec 2012, 7:35 pm

*deleted*



Last edited by antonblock on 14 Dec 2012, 2:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dan_Undiagnosed
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12 Dec 2012, 11:38 pm

I've only experienced this a couple of times. It's a very creepy feeling and even harder to describe.



Ca2MgFe5Si8O22OH2
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13 Dec 2012, 2:07 am

I get this a couple of times per week, minimum. it's intense and frequent enough I thought I had temporal lobe epilepsy, but it and the jerking/twitching/etc that I do sometimes are all part of my conversion disorder, which is a reaction to internalized stress. I spent most of a week in a neurology ward last month to figure that out. much of this probably has to do with my aspergers, but my treatment as a queer/trans person is a major stress factor and probably contributes quite a bit to the frequency with which I depersonalize, given where I live. I've also had facial paralysis as another manifestation of this disorder.

moral of the story: diagnose your aspie before age 25, and don't give a queer child to evangelical missionaries to raise if you want them to come out without major psychological trauma.

when I was diagnosed in the hospital a social worker came in and asked point blank if I was a child abuse victim. not physically, no, but the "ex gay" BS is officially child-abuse in California now, and my parents publish books on how not to have gay children, so yeah, the depersonalization is probably a result of something a damn lot like abuse with me. I don't tend to get derealization, though I do get jamais vu sometimes in very brief flashes. those mostly stopped back in my teens, though. I get a lot of spatial disorientation and sometimes minor vision changes during my episodes, too. depersonalization is almost always accompanied by a change in the sense of the angle of gravity, and the size and shape of various parts of my body and things around me. I don't really get the "dream like" state at all, though, just a sense of distance and spatial distortion.

all of it is a very severe stress reaction, but sometimes it can be delayed by hours or even days, so I usually don't have more than a vague idea what might have caused any given episode, unless they occur while I'm writing something emotional.


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pensieve
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13 Dec 2012, 6:17 am

I think my depersonalisation is due to sensory issues. I've got this disconnect from people and the environment. And the derealisation might be actual derealisation because I get it from sensory overload, so maybe it's due to anxiety...or it could be hypoglycaemia or epilepsy.

I have PTSD now too. But that makes me feel like I'm becoming schizophrenic. Just paranoid in spouts, you know. It's scary.


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blakkwaltz
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13 Dec 2012, 9:45 pm

Interesting I thought all aspies were like that (now I know better)

That's actually what what my profile pic is based on.
He sorta reaching out to try to get in touch with world but he can't because there is barrier that keeps him from actually being in the real world. He's sad and all but he can't do anything about it. He's so disconnected that he's not really even human. Like he's on the 8) wrong planet

Huh now that think about...

It's like I'm not even there. Like this world is just a weird movie that I act but it already happened so even though I'm responsible it doesn't feel like I'm choosing what to do because its already been decided for me. I feel like a ghost I want so desperately to be real but I don't know how. when I walk I don't even feel like my feet are touching the ground. When I talk its not coming from my mouth. When I hear people talk its like I'm reading a book with words in another language.

Maybe it's because the only time I ever feel real is when playing video games or reading books. I remember playing video games as child it felt so good. It felt like it was the only time that I could make a difference in the world around me

I don't know if I'm making this happen to myself or if I'm just crazy.

My earliest memories include me playing an old game with my dad it was one of few memories I had left of him and I haven't seen him in years because he divorced my mom and after that I remember moving a lot because my mom had trouble with custody because she wanted to move somewhere else other where my dad was books and games seemed more real to me because when it came down to it they were the only things I had that didn't disappear and they more real than the people I knew who would probably just abandon me after they were bored with me.

So here I am lurking about the forums waiting for something that isn't as temporary as everything as everything else is.

Anyway feel free to respond I'd like to know if there are others that feel the same


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14 Dec 2012, 1:52 am

blakkwaltz wrote:
Interesting I thought all aspies were like that (now I know better)

That's actually what what my profile pic is based on.
He sorta reaching out to try to get in touch with world but he can't because there is barrier that keeps him from actually being in the real world. He's sad and all but he can't do anything about it. He's so disconnected that he's not really even human. Like he's on the 8) wrong planet

Huh now that think about...

It's like I'm not even there. Like this world is just a weird movie that I act but it already happened so even though I'm responsible it doesn't feel like I'm choosing what to do because its already been decided for me. I feel like a ghost I want so desperately to be real but I don't know how. when I walk I don't even feel like my feet are touching the ground. When I talk its not coming from my mouth. When I hear people talk its like I'm reading a book with words in another language.

Maybe it's because the only time I ever feel real is when playing video games or reading books. I remember playing video games as child it felt so good. It felt like it was the only time that I could make a difference in the world around me

I don't know if I'm making this happen to myself or if I'm just crazy.

My earliest memories include me playing an old game with my dad it was one of few memories I had left of him and I haven't seen him in years because he divorced my mom and after that I remember moving a lot because my mom had trouble with custody because she wanted to move somewhere else other where my dad was books and games seemed more real to me because when it came down to it they were the only things I had that didn't disappear and they more real than the people I knew who would probably just abandon me after they were bored with me.

So here I am lurking about the forums waiting for something that isn't as temporary as everything as everything else is.

Anyway feel free to respond I'd like to know if there are others that feel the same


l do and always felt this way but at some point l decided to break out of it. When you do, it still doesn't feel real. When l basically the made the desicion to be an extrovert around 14 it felt like the actions l was taking were part of a movie(other people's actions too). LIFE. l've had 3-6 month stretches of my life that felt absolutely like living in a TV show...nothing really touched my core.

The rest of the time l'm like halfway in between my own mind and the real world, still sort of a detached feeling but nothing that has resulted in a loss of functioning except for brief periods. Socializing more usually keeps it in check.

lt's hard to say how much of the feeling is caused by AS itse;f because once you do stop socializing the feeling intensifies, and would with NTs too.

l do of course wouldn't say all aspies are that way but l agree with you, l would think that at least most are.

Depersonalization disorder is similar. l didn't really have the kind of childhood that would cause it though and if anything l started out as WAY, WAY, way more depersonalized as a tiny kid(3-5ish.have some ''memories'' that border on hallucinations) and gradually joined the real world.

l think a lot of ADHDers feel this way too.

Want to add that this one of the first things l asked about under my first user name, before l even knew the term depersonalization. Before l decided that l was NT with some AS traits. l thought l had always been destined to lose my mind eventually xD


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Oni
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14 Dec 2012, 4:13 am

I experience Derealization 24/7. It's just my natural state now.



SplinterStar
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14 Dec 2012, 6:34 am

Rain_Bird wrote:
I used to get that all the time in high school/middle school. Still do sometimes, but nowhere near as much as I used to. I always assumed it had more to do with depression than anything else, or was simply a defense mechanism to get through the hell that was high school.


yes it can make an excellent defense during that awful brain melting phase of life



Rollandalexander
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30 Dec 2017, 7:51 am

I have this sometimes, But I'm pretty sure it's a kind of self defense mechanism when you get overstimulated