Do ALL Aspies or Auties dislike bieing hugged or touched?

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smiffi25147628
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12 Aug 2009, 9:34 am

Hi I'm awaiting a diagnosis and in my reading I read that many people with aspergers dislike being touched or hugged. I do not have this trait, in fact I very much like this. I find it calming and soothing. I know not everyone has all the same traits but from what I have read here it would appear that most Aspies don't like it?

Since I am not diagnosed this is making me question whether I have AS or not.

Does anyone here like being touched and/or hugged?

PS After reading this back to myself I appriciate that I sound a bit effiminate. Could we please overlook this as I can assure you that this is not the case.


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I am currently in the process of getting a diagnosid for aspergers syndrome. Waiting for referal by my GP. I have Previously been diagnosed with dyslexia & dispraxia and my psycological assessments make reference to ADHD.


Last edited by smiffi25147628 on 12 Aug 2009, 9:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

CockneyRebel
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12 Aug 2009, 9:36 am

I hate being touched lightly by another person, however I love giving and getting hugs. :O)


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gramirez
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12 Aug 2009, 9:36 am

I don't mind being hugged when asked, or when someone holds their arms out to hug me. What I CAN'T stand someone hugging or touching me without knowing about it beforehand. I freak out.


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Maggiedoll
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12 Aug 2009, 9:40 am

I usually don't mind.
Unless it tickles. And I'm very, very ticklish!
Or if I'm in a weird mood.



Evenflowman454
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12 Aug 2009, 9:50 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I hate being touched lightly by another person, however I love giving and getting hugs. :O)


ditto for me aswell


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DarrylZero
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12 Aug 2009, 9:52 am

I like being hugged and touched, but mostly when it's someone I'm comfortable with. Otherwise it depends on the context or whether or not I see it coming.



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12 Aug 2009, 9:53 am

I don't mind touching if I'm prepared for it or if it's something that I have control over. I don't like random touching, as when people in crowds bump into me. I hate it when a random stranger just comes up to me and touches me.

I had that happen the other day -- some guy at the gas station was in line ahead of me and chatting up the cashier while I waited quietly. He turned around and reached out and laid his hand firmly on my shoulder and said something like, "Sorry to hold you up," before he left. I managed to keep a smile on my face and choke out something appropriate, but I'm sure I stiffened up. I don't know what he thought he was doing. He was probably just trying to be friendly in a touchy-feelie kind of way, but I really wished he hadn't.



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12 Aug 2009, 10:19 am

I strongly dislike being touched by any person other than my fiancé. (I loooove touching and being touched by him!)

I will put a large space between other people and myself to avoid being touched, and I try to make myself as small as possible
If anyone tries to touch me, I usually back away before they can. If they still manage to touch me, I quickly withdraw whatever body part (usually the arm, shoulder, or leg) that has been touched.


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Sora
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12 Aug 2009, 10:25 am

No.

I hugged and held an autistic kid's hand who really insisted on holding hands with two people for 30+ minutes during horribly hot weather.

Personally, I like some hugs, but not others. Generally I'm okay with pressure but detest very light, fleeting contact with skin. Some people I can't even stand the mere idea of touching them accidentally, others can drag me to the floor and I don't mind at all.


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smiffi25147628
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12 Aug 2009, 10:25 am

CleverKitten wrote:
If anyone tries to touch me, I usually back away before they can. If they still manage to touch me, I quickly withdraw whatever body part (usually the arm, shoulder, or leg) that has been touched.


I thought that was women in general! No I'm only kidding of course but that does sound like some of my younger romantic experiences :( .



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12 Aug 2009, 10:29 am

Yeah, I'm like most, I like firm touch and only by someone I feel comfortable with. If I'm feeling very tense, even a firm touch can set me off if it's unexpected. And my kids, though they are certainly among those I like to hug, have really come close to getting smacked when they jump at me or grab at me. My son in particular has gotten grumped at for kissing me on the arm, which really bothers me for some reason. And last night I stopped ni'night kisses because he thought it was funny to lick me when he was supposed to kiss my cheek (he had been warned). That's an extreme case, I guess.

They're very huggy at my church, the women all hug, the men all shake your hand. This is supposed to be a good thing. When I sit back and look at it, it seems like a great thing, look at these friendly people, if a new person were to come here to attend church, how welcome they would feel, isn't it a good atmosphere... And I, content to continue attending, would rather they just keep their sweaty paws off me. And hugging another woman just weirds me out in the worst way. I hug one adult only, one. And he does not have breasts. Sorry, but there it is.

The sad truth is that I'd rather get to know people before getting personal, and yet most people seem to have gone over to the opposite method... I say touch is a privilege we each may extend one another at will, not a door anyone may open when it suits them.


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12 Aug 2009, 10:33 am

Yes and no.

I don't hate being touched, but I have to invite it. Otherwise, I get a little freaked by others touching me.

I don't even like shaking hands.



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12 Aug 2009, 10:34 am

Normally I don't mind hugging if I'm ready for it, but there are some forms of touch that I don't like.


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12 Aug 2009, 10:36 am

I can't stand people just touching me or even getting to far into my personal space. The touchy friendly types (pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, etc.) drive me nuts and I avoid people that do that like they have the plague.

Touching without permission is just so rude...



Alraune144
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12 Aug 2009, 10:37 am

When I was younger i'd back off if someone tried to touch me...but I managed to outgrow it, don't remember how I did it tho.


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