Things you wish adults knew when you were a child

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This is why I want my (eventual) kids home-schooled.

They say they'll take a more investive approach to dealing with it, but never really will. Welcome to humanity; not worth my flippin' time.

To quote the great Rorschach yet again, "and the world will look up and shout 'save us', and I will whisper 'no'"


It's funny, but I'm always slightly under the impression that that they're indirectly siding with the bullies. The minute they say "you gotta try expanding your horizons, and learning about their interests", it's their way of saying "the bully is right for picking on you, cause you're different"

It's painful to think about, but I think you all know I'm right.

To quote George W. Bush "you're either for us, or you're against us"

Well, what I've always thought a big part of the problem with bullying is in the first place is all this PC crap. Sure, people don't want to offend anyone, but when it's little kids asking questions-let them ask, unless the person directly says they are uncomfortable, generally they'd rather the kid ask questions than to just stand there and stare at them like they are some kind of mutant.

So from the time we are young, we are told "sssh, don't look at that person, don't talk about that person" etc., rather than being encouraged to learn about people who are different.

This winds up associated as a bad thing to ask people why they are different, and later winds up meaning someone different=bad/weird/easy target essentially.

Just my interpretation.

...and yes, it sure does seem like the kid who is the bully often is sided with. We had problems for the first 2 years of school (still ongoing, just less severe) with Zack being constantly teased and picked on. When he reacted, I would always get the call (because I guess his reaction was generally way more obvious than the whispers to him all day long that got past the teachers) "do you discipline your son at home?" "I think you need to be harder on him." "His behavior is getting worse." Still took me forever to get it out of him what was actually going on and why, but man, that was the most annoying thing ever-to be blamed for him reacting to things around him when they knew darn good and well he has his issues with things-getting overstimulated and such.... and to not even LOOK at the other kids as an option. That was the most frustrating part. According to them it was always something I wasn't doing right. ...and even odder, is that they knew it was out of character for him to behave that way anyway, so why didn't they check?

When I told them he was getting tested, the teacher told me directly (in kindergarten), "No, he has nothing wrong with him. What is going on in his home life that we should know about? Are you in a stable relationship, is there abuse, etc.?" They stopped immediately asking and calling about that crap when they got his diagnosis after he was out of school for 3 weeks for it and came back with an IEP.

He wound up suspended for 3 days once, because a kid-all the way through the lunch line, all the way to the table, all the way down the hall heading to lunch even, kept kicking the backs of Zack's legs. He never said anything, and when he set his tray down, he finally hauled off and punched the kid in the stomach knocking him to the ground.

Now, of course, the other problem is, Zack won't explain what lead up to it... he won't tell what others are doing, and the teachers never asked him what the other kid did that caused it. The question asked over and over was "Why did YOU do that?" ...which to him, he's trying to figure out exactly why he did it, not factoring in what bothered him to the point of doing it. He was trying to figure out the specific reason for his own action at the exact moment, and could only say "I don't know". I got the full story when he got home, got the note saying he was suspended... we went to the toy store the next day, lol. Maybe wasn't the best, but you know what, I'm glad he stuck up for himself finally and that kid never did it again.

Wow, in my situation at that point, all the other kids would've been jumping on me for taking out one of "theirs".

I even got made fun of several times for defending myself...and no, the teachers were never on my side either.

Again...homeschooling.

I wouldn't be surprised.

"Oh, the bully doesn't mean it...he's just acting out his frustrations; of course, you're kid is different, so he's automatically the work of Satan, and should be punished"

Schyeah..........boy did those PSAs work like a charm, right?

ROFLMAO, exactly! I often wonder how often these others kids' parents actually get a phone call for anything that they are doing, and what happens to them when they get home.

Neighbor's kid used to be our bully, until I sat down and explained autism to him. He would call him a nerd all the time, say he didn't deserve friends 'cuz he was too nerdy... just really mean stuff. He'd tease him about how he runs, plays, just everything.

Parents never did anything about it. One day the kid was bored and decided to knock on our door... guess no one else was home to play with. So as they were playing, he kept coming to me telling me "zack won't stop spinning in circles" or "zack won't stop obsessing over such and such a toy".

So that day, before he left, I sat him down and told him Zack is a little different, and explained it to him.

The next day someone called Zack a nerd and the neighbor boy got into a fight with the kid because he was defending Zack, lol. He wound up in a lot of trouble trying to be Zack's protector for a while there.

That's when I figured out it's 'cuz a lot of parents won't bother talking about things that people have that are different, or why they might be the way they are or anything. It's just an untalked about issue, so when the kids actually see it in person, they pick on 'em.

The parents aren't gonna bother saying anything because deep down, they're no more sympathetic & understanding about your kid, either.

In fact, they're basically projecting onto their kid their hostility towards yours.

Hell, I know my former best friend's parents didn't like me very much...they barely would even talk to me on Facebook.

My Dad's family is that way too..and even used the exact same brushoff that my former classmates did.

What was even worse, regarding my Dad's family...they invited him to NJ for a family function, and he stayed with some of them for a few days; one night, they went to a function at a friend's house, not only didn't bring him, but told him "we've had this planned for weeks". Maybe I should mention my Dad is also very socially awkward....and extremely naive.

He didn't mind, but I took it as very rude, and that they didn't really want to deal with him, either.

It does to me, and let me tell you something else to show you why it does:

I was very nervous about entering Jr. High School, and the whole family knew it.

So, after my first day, everyone called my grandparents, and asked how it was.

They didn't call me...they didn't want to even bother.

I can't wait to see what happens when I invite 'em out here for my wedding when I eventually get married to my gal; that should be an interesting experience.