Decisions
31 Jan 2006, 6:53 pm
January 31st, 2006
As it stands right now I don't have any interest in school in St.Paul(another
San Jose). Both mentioned places are introvert need apply locations
and to give a example; I wouldn't live, nor go to school in San Jose due
to inadequate emotional feeding options, and as such St.Paul would
also apply.
work out my feelings there before making any commitments I do
want to see and feel it as it is. The fact is work/home/school
are places where I am emotionally, physically, and academically
speaking(self-interests, and educational influenced) inspired.
Apple Valley, Rosemount, Burnsville, ect.... don't have the
extrovert qualities for either job or school values. I choose
a school, combined with housing? and work based on the $100
bill in my pocket theory.
I have seen St.Paul twice. Once after a psychologist appointment,
and another at the Junior/Technical College. The areas covered from
Downtown to minimal outskirt areas around it representing "if I had
completed done my school work, job what can feed me externally since
I am a night owl and this fictional $100 bill in my pocket to celebrate
my time.
So you can say the $100 bill is a representative of my extrovert
investment in my time and self. I cannot hide behind my computer
all the time.
and see that others or another control the My food-so don't eat
it, My TV-so don't go in the living room, My-everything in the house
that forces me to hide in my room. When this happens
I am forced into my endless void of disappointments and
when there is no external connections that are functional for
me due to distance and time consumption, or perhaps very
limited options I become venomous and thus........
School becomes polluted(hollow victory)
Work becomes polluted(old feeling invading what should be a
constructive place), ect......
So having to hide in myself and room and no where to
successfully and externally plug into outside my computer
makes not a happy space or home for me. This applies to
anywhere I live, work, and go to school thus not a particular place.
the Sunnyvale-California porch on the elcamino are not endearing
spaces. I am not a limited option person for my emotional
well-being because that effects all other things. School,
work, ect.
The abuses at the San Francisco hostel are not going to
happen again since it was a cold reminder of being trapped
emotionally for others pleasure.
The isolation of St.Paul(San Jose type area), and
Apple Valley, Rosemount is representation of job rejection
in a smaller community, and regarding St.Paul, lack of
extrovert options in a place that should have these options.
to go places for extrovert watching, have the job. Housing
is/and has been only a option since, for example it is $130
per unit (residential) and $280 range non-resident of MN tuition.
That is not really a option. That 20 hours a week at $7 is
$100 per week take home and thats all.
Read the $100 in my pocket theory representing
my extrovert options. This should give a reminder of
how important it is for me.
my well-being here in Dakota County due to introvertvillness being right
for some people, and their school, but not for me.
I am on first thought not eager to see anymore rejections
here and the job placement services don't hold much for me
since this isn't a place for school. A last paycheck is not
why I am here. Nor is continual denial of my external feeding
of others.
I don't count disconnectedness and having to hide in my room
as healthy since I don't read and do things in my room that require
a extrovert approach to them. Maybe those who live here like
it and thrive off it, I don't.
job placement services here since I do know that a emotional
investment here is not a feeder of my emotional self and that
is a bad recipe for the other, school and job successes.
1 rejection-too-many in let's hire the itty-bitty young thing-ville.
I don't see this being anymore helpful.
So the end result is do I? or do I not? Allow a futile? furtile?
job searching through the agency that Margie works for?
Hmmmm? I don't see school and emotionally have been
stretched out already here(intervert-ville, MN).
Here is what I would leave with:
1)...Answers to why I had problems in the past
2)...Up-to-date evaluations
3)...A better understanding of why I had bad choices
4)...My transfereable ADA(american disability Act) card
for affordable bus service.
5)...A diagnoses that brought awareness
6)...Hmmmmmm? Learning to better appreciate a loving family!
7)...A new expression skill(iMovie movies to give face to emotions)
My next appointment at Dakota services regarding the
job placement services(margie's representative Company)
is Friday 2/3/06' at 2pm.
Sorry for not being postive
Ghosthunter
31 Jan 2006, 7:06 pm
You don't have to be positive all the time. That's fake. No one should need to be fake.
The ADA card you have is *ONLY* good for Van/Bus services in the metro area. It is not transferable out of state, or outside the metro area. It doesn't even guarentee ADA services for other things. Since you did qualify for that, you probably will qualify for other services but be careful of assuming too much.
This is a major metro area with a population of at least four million people. I am sure there are places for an extrovert. As we discussed, I'm just not the one to help you find them. Just about any college has a nightlife near it...it just goes does. You just haven't found it yet. Even if the nightlife is not near the college you pick, the bus service (24/7 in Minneapolis) can get you there.
When you leave, leave because you have a better place to be, not because you are running from your past or yourself.
What is this about the three year wait? That doesn't sound right.
BeeBee
31 Jan 2006, 7:10 pm
I do agree you need to leave Apple Valley as life here is waaaaaaaaaay to slow for you. But I think you should look at some inner ring suburbs in Dakota County first. That's easiest since you are getting services from Dakota county. If you don't like them, then look into Minneapolis and St. Paul. If you don't like that, look around the country before running.
Run TO something, not AWAY from things.
(Ah, you have other options than depending on Margie...isn's Susan going to help you complete the SSI forms? Is Susan or Barbara contacting the social worker? Don't forget to look at the big picture.)
larsenjw92286
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Joined: 30 Aug 2004
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