Pap smears are nearly always uncomfortable, even for sexually-active women. I experience a "pinching" sensation and some cramping every time, and I've been getting them done yearly - as recommended! - since the age of 18. They should NOT be excruciatingly painful, nor cause prolonged agony.
To the OP: are you a virgin? If you are, did you inform the nurse of this fact prior to the exam?
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Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
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