How do you know if your standards are too high?

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hale_bopp
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05 Nov 2009, 5:01 am

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Previously said, I'm looking for a female version of myself.


Maybe thats too high.

If you have a list of criteria a woman must have like that, obviously the traits you have, it's a lot to ask at wont be easy to find.


Standards are a funny thing because I firmly believe that you should never just settle for someone.

If you aren't attracted to many people, maybe you're being picky, but if thats the case, don't complain.

I am extremely picky and am prepared to live out my life alone. However, it depends what you mean by "high standard", as men I consider to be a great catch are often unattractive in the looks department to others.



therange
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05 Nov 2009, 2:25 pm

You don't have to have 100 percent in common with your partner or for him/her to be a "male/female version of yourself." It's more about similar values (for example, if you're a touchy feely person and she isn't, or you like sex and she doesn't) it won't be the best relationship. Or he wants to party all the time, but you're a stay-in kind, it won't work. Similar interests also help...similar music taste, a hobby in common, just one or two things that you can both do together besides sex. Someone with a similar but not exact same outlook. I say not the exact same because you might (especially as an Aspie) have a frigid way of looking at things, and your partner can say "Well this is a possibility too..." Kind of like the relationship Mulder and Scully have, even though, yes, it's just a tv show.

For me, I want someone a little more proactive than me to bring out the life in me. I noticed when I was dating the last girl I was dating, we went to restaurants, did little things together, just talked about nothing. It was like hanging around a guy only in a pretty girl's body and slight playful arguments.

For all the talk women say about "We have to live up to these expectations"...the girl I was dating had a beautiful face, average body...thin, but not model thin...looked like "the girl next door" and wasn't the type of shopping for clothes/lots of makeup girl. I think society just portrays women like Heidi Klum to be the ideal to sell magazines and make women jealous.



hale_bopp
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05 Nov 2009, 5:15 pm

therange wrote:
For me, I want someone a little more proactive than me to bring out the life in me. I noticed when I was dating the last girl I was dating, we went to restaurants, did little things together, just talked about nothing. It was like hanging around a guy only in a pretty girl's body and slight playful arguments.


Thats what a lot of people need and a good thing to look for imo.

I tend to look for outgoing confident guys, because I can get tips from them, and the more time you spend with someone the more like them you become.