How do you know if your standards are too high?

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You're the one who declared your looks up for discussion and that your picture would prove everything. Why are you having a snit because someone believed you?



Please show me the trap. You thrust your picture into the conversation, not anyone else.



This is called a false dichotomy logical fallacy.



And this is called a strawman logical fallacy. Please provide links to the quotes to which you are referring if it's not a strawman.

Uh, how does that follow from what you quoted. I never suggested anyone can be a 10 just by trying. I just said men as a group have as much potential for looking good as women as a group.

I feel a little sad that some guys have a hard time believing men can be a pleasure to look at.

Ah, I see. Note that that quote contains neither staring nor telling anyone comments about hotness. Where does the bit about uncombed hair and jogging pants tie in? And the bit about "all the guys"?

And where were the bits where I set a trap for you, as you claim?

I think the idea about not taking care in the appearance, is valid up to a point. However it is somewhat what a distraction from the main issue. There is nothing to say it will solve this problem en-masse, and that the extent to which men value their appearance isn't already sufficient for the task on the whole. Women are not just taking an interest in their appearance for men, but also women. Men do already compete on appearance; just that there are various different ideas on masculinity, and tastes.

What is more to the point is it is hypocritical to expect people not to have preferences, when this entirely natural. Everyone does it. There is no moral foundation from which to claim the high ground, in the case of rejection.

The lesson is if you pump out nothing but resentment then expect some backflow at some point. Eventually you will become wise enough to realise that blame is pretty meaningless in this context. Of course some people will die before this happens.

Well said, with bonus points for being very succinct.

Well said.

Previously said, I'm looking for a female version of myself.

Generally if you cant get anyone your standards are too high.

Thing is though, whats a standard?

My standards are 80% personality. To me someone with a WICKED personality in MY opinion, is to a VERY high standard. I could not date them though unless their look does it for *me*, but they don't have to be "hot". In fact im not attracted to generic "hot".

Ditto.

Really never been sure where I fall on the scale, I got everything where it's spose to be. I'm in shape, and well groomed. Been called a 10 before, by a few sources, even modeled as a teenager. So, iono, maybe I actually am cute. I'm pretty damn smart, inventive you could say. My humor is lost on nearly everyone though, so, typically I'm seen as boring or even odd.

But, given that rough summary, I think my standards are too high.

I need a woman who is smart, cunning, witty, shares at least some tenets of philosophy or ideology with me, whom enjoys my company, and likes my son. Not sure if I can find this girl, might not exist.

Last edited by NarcissusSavage on 07 Nov 2009, 12:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Maybe thats too high.

If you have a list of criteria a woman must have like that, obviously the traits you have, it's a lot to ask at wont be easy to find.


Standards are a funny thing because I firmly believe that you should never just settle for someone.

If you aren't attracted to many people, maybe you're being picky, but if thats the case, don't complain.

I am extremely picky and am prepared to live out my life alone. However, it depends what you mean by "high standard", as men I consider to be a great catch are often unattractive in the looks department to others.

You don't have to have 100 percent in common with your partner or for him/her to be a "male/female version of yourself." It's more about similar values (for example, if you're a touchy feely person and she isn't, or you like sex and she doesn't) it won't be the best relationship. Or he wants to party all the time, but you're a stay-in kind, it won't work. Similar interests also help...similar music taste, a hobby in common, just one or two things that you can both do together besides sex. Someone with a similar but not exact same outlook. I say not the exact same because you might (especially as an Aspie) have a frigid way of looking at things, and your partner can say "Well this is a possibility too..." Kind of like the relationship Mulder and Scully have, even though, yes, it's just a tv show.

For me, I want someone a little more proactive than me to bring out the life in me. I noticed when I was dating the last girl I was dating, we went to restaurants, did little things together, just talked about nothing. It was like hanging around a guy only in a pretty girl's body and slight playful arguments.

For all the talk women say about "We have to live up to these expectations"...the girl I was dating had a beautiful face, average body...thin, but not model thin...looked like "the girl next door" and wasn't the type of shopping for clothes/lots of makeup girl. I think society just portrays women like Heidi Klum to be the ideal to sell magazines and make women jealous.

Thats what a lot of people need and a good thing to look for imo.

I tend to look for outgoing confident guys, because I can get tips from them, and the more time you spend with someone the more like them you become.