Do You Ever Feel You're Not Part of Society?

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NeantHumain
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16 Feb 2006, 1:49 pm

Alone, friendless, single, I feel I don't belong as a part of society sometimes. The day-to-day happenings of life, the things that people value and aspire to, all seem out there, beyond my reach. In sociology class, the professor lectured about how people define their identity by doing or not doing certain things, the ways they can retain an identity despite doing certain things, etc. In literature classes, "universal" themes are discussed. It all seems so alien to me, something I'm not a part of. I've never or hardly ever experienced the social interactions these "universal" strivings are built upon. It's not that I don't want to, but I haven't had the opportunity.

It feeds such an indifference, complete apathy.



ascan
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16 Feb 2006, 2:13 pm

I tend to feel the same (not being part of society), though the reasons for thinking it maybe slightly different. That does feed apathy and indifference, I must agree. One way out, I find, is to engage absolutely in an interest. Unfortunately, when one is saturated in despondency, that can be difficult to initiate, and is only a temporary respite from reality.



Emettman
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16 Feb 2006, 2:56 pm

"Do You Ever Feel You're Not Part of Society?"

Not...quite...

I hold down a job, pay my taxes, go to the shops. On one level a functioning member of society.

But then you refer to "In literature classes, "universal" themes are discussed..."
Yes, there and elsewhere, the sensation of "not being part" is very strong.
I've felt it in the middle of a football crowd, and a large church congregation.

In "Human Relationship Skills" by Richard Nelson-Jones (not a bad book at all!)
a universal was given which appeared to exclude me from the human race, never mind society:
"Your capacity to realise your full humaness is sufficiently intact that you are capable of forming loving relationships with others." I'm still not sure it is, or I am.

"It [love of the human race] is a characteristic of all highly developed humans"
In which case I may as well go back to neanderthal grunting.


Shall I defend my alienation, my distance? Perhaps Krishnamurti:
"It is no good thing to be well-adjusted to a sick society."


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mikibacsi1124
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16 Feb 2006, 3:02 pm

Definitely. I spend most of my days being by myself doing my own thing, and when I'm doing something with people (such as attending a class or even "hanging out"), I almost always feel somehow detached. It's not that I don't care, or that I want to feel detached. I just do.



Last edited by mikibacsi1124 on 16 Feb 2006, 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nomaken
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16 Feb 2006, 3:08 pm

In the sense that a society IS the interaction of people who identify themselves as being part of the same society to everyone else i AM part of society. Since no one i would interact with would ever imagine that i am not an american and a michiganer. But I am not part of their society in the sense that I personally do not feel that unity. Their society operates with unity, and when i visit it it is like me visiting another country. That comparison is actually very appropriate because every time i interact with other people it is like going to another country. God knows what they expect of me, and the weird customs they have. And they probably have cute, quaint little beliefs and i have to pretend i'm entertained by the same things they are and believe in the same things they do so as not to be rude.


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lowfreq50
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16 Feb 2006, 3:37 pm

mikibacsi1124 wrote:
Definitely. I spend most of my days being by myself doing my own thing, and when I'm doing something with people (such as attending a class or even "hanging out"), I almost always feel somehow detached. It's not that I don't care, or that I want to feel detached. I just do.


Bingo

It seems that even the more social of our group still have this feeling of detachment/alienation. No matter how much we "hangout" and socialize.

NeantHumain: Do you think you would feel better if you were able to participate in society? This common feeling of detachment seems to be very deep-seated in our type.



BraveMurderDay
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16 Feb 2006, 3:45 pm

The only way I seem to be able to engage in anything close to full participation in society is by creating adventurous fantasies in my mind or writing plays in which I am a character.

NeantHumain, if I may ask since I have not taken any advanced classes in literature, could you spell out for us the universal themes being discussed which you feel you are not a part of?



Johnnie
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16 Feb 2006, 6:45 pm

Quote:
Do You Ever Feel You're Not Part of Society?


about as welcome as a black guy at a KKK rally
about as welcome as a Rabbi in a christain church

one differance is they have family that they connect with, AS people don't even have that in most cases



pad
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16 Feb 2006, 6:59 pm

well, I would describe myself as a non conformist(in a very jersey accent). :P



pernicious_penguin
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16 Feb 2006, 7:37 pm

"about as welcome as a Rabbi in a christain church "

... they are fairly welcome



Origaia
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16 Feb 2006, 7:38 pm

Detached pretty much sums up how i feel in most social situations, even when i'm talking to someone i still have this feeling of just not belonging. I think i've got better at socialising in recent years, mostly by learning from my family but that detached feeling is still there, strong as ever :|



Johnnie
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16 Feb 2006, 8:04 pm

pernicious_penguin wrote:
"about as welcome as a Rabbi in a christain church "

... they are fairly welcome


Would they ever feel like they are part of the group :?: They would be more tolerated by the group than a black guy at a KKK tally,but still feel out of place in a christain church.



MsTriste
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16 Feb 2006, 9:21 pm

Yes, I agree with you Neant.

And there's nothing like a sociology class to make an aspie feel uncomfortable, either. So put up your shields while you're taking that class. (I've taken it so I know how it feels to have the prof talk about society and to feel like I'm on the wrong planet)



newchum
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16 Feb 2006, 11:32 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
Alone, friendless, single, I feel I don't belong as a part of society sometimes. The day-to-day happenings of life, the things that people value and aspire to, all seem out there, beyond my reach. In sociology class, the professor lectured about how people define their identity by doing or not doing certain things, the ways they can retain an identity despite doing certain things, etc. In literature classes, "universal" themes are discussed. It all seems so alien to me, something I'm not a part of. I've never or hardly ever experienced the social interactions these "universal" strivings are built upon. It's not that I don't want to, but I haven't had the opportunity.

It feeds such an indifference, complete apathy.


I have not really totally a part of Australian society for many years and gradually became very alienated from the life that many of my age group live, my family's finanical circumstances and social connections (lack of) did not help either. I am working very much towards becoming less alienated from my own society, because I can't really go on being so alienated.



Cyberpunkwriter
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16 Feb 2006, 11:35 pm

Definately.

I am a Taoist intellectual who grew up in a completely white Southern Baptist, intolerant, misogynist, and redneck town.

I got beat up and harrassed so much until I was twenty and moved to a much "Hipper" town that I wonder how I made it sometimes. I almost didn't. I logged a serious suicide attempt at age thirteen.

Even now I feel like everyone is staring at me judging me and measuring me...and I am in a competitive field.

I almost never go out and then almost never alone.

So a bunch of you guys and ladies have me beat there. At least you feel you are part of the bigger picture.


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CRACK
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17 Feb 2006, 6:16 pm

I feel like I am "not really" a part of the human race, but was invited into human society anyways, and reluctantly accepted the invitation. Partly out of not knowing where else to go. Yeah, thats how I feel