AltonJr wrote:
Hey guys and gals, My name is Alton and I live in the Bronx, NY. I became aware of Asperger Syndrome a few years ago and have been convinced since then that I have the disorder, I do not really seek a diagnosis because I don't feel like I need someone else to tell me what I know about myself and then prescribe me a drug that could do more hurt then help, With that being said my life is pretty miserable I wake up and do the same thing's all the time and I hate it for example when I wake up late for work in the morning and have to get on the train when it's more crowded than usual because I always have this feeling that people are watching me and judging me, I obviously have trouble keeping relationships with almost everyone, including my parents, no girlfriend (Virgin and not by choice, lol) no real friends and i am not very close to anyone in my family except my grandparents for some reason I have always gotten along with old people really well...I always feel like a conversation is some sort of test that you have to pass and I always cutt class on test day. If i do find myself in a convo it's a lot of awkward pausing, my mind either goes blank or i think so hard that i mumble, for some reason I feel like I talk normal but sometimes people tell me i'm talking to loud or to low, people also tell me that I often look angry or miserable of course I smile and try to play it off but most of the time they are right.
Well I will tell you that I used to be terrible at small talk with most people especially female, but many I just had to work on not being so nervous. Over the years I have taught myself to pick up social cues that did not come naturally to me, and I learned to push myself to talk to others, especially females, n matter how nervous I am. One other thing that may help, is to not look at yourself as having a "disorder'. Everyone is different and thus thinks differently. If you think differently, than most so what? Many great individuals thought differently, than main stream society. Einstein, Galileo, Buddha, Christ.
27 Dec 2009, 5:57 pm
