Have you ever made your parents cry?

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I don't recall that you've ever made me cry. If you stay the same person, I don't see you ever making me cry.

Mine always had issues about image as well and in fact, sometimes told lies about me to try and make me look better. I remember one incident when a school told us to write about what we did one day, and Mom insisted no mention of TV be on it, so we could show them I was smart and didn't watch TV, which made no sense to me because I never understood what people's issues with TV were.

I also think I wasn't the son they wanted, mainly because they saw as I got older, I wasn't like my sister. I can think of numerous examples of how I was in the wrong not because of some set of rules, but because I didn't do what she did. I can even give some examples.

I can remember I would often want to play outside but my sister didn't, the result was I was often confined to the house so eventually, I gave up and adapted to enjoying life indoors. Later she decided she liked going out, so I was often forced to go with her and lectured to about how bad it is to stay in all the time. I never understood why going out was wrong when I wanted to do it and now staying in was wrong because she wanted to go out.

Another was reading. My sister was someone who read for hours and hours on end, and I didn't, and my parents thought it was great she read. I can remember later when I wanted to stay in and read a book and she wanted to go out and my mother yelled at me that I needed to do more than just sit in the house and read! Again, OK when Sis wants to do it, but wrong for me when I want to do it.

There are other examples as well, including years of forced swimming because she wanted to do that, and being put down because I didn't want to learn a musical instrument like she did. The list goes on and on and to this day, I'll never understand why my sister was such a gold standard to them and why they were so determined to make me into a copy of her.

I think this is actually still very typical of parents. I work with kids and we see this a lot at school. One child is one way (particularly if they are great academically), and another child is different...and they always have a difficult time with it. We had two brothers that came through our classroom at different times. The first was a good reader/writer, very academic. The second wasn't...he loved to draw and made such humorous, artistic pictures and had a wonderful sense of humor...but he was always put upon because of 'not being like ___" That's a hard row to hoe.

B

I see your point of how some parents have more than one child and they expect them to be the same or at least very similar, especially if they are close in age like my sister and I were. But I never understood why everything constantly changed based on her. Why wasn't there some firm set rules, standards, etc. besides her whims? If she doesn't like something today, it's bad but if she changes her mind about it the next day, it's mandatory.

I remember when I started college, my sister was going to go away to graduate school and I hoped with her gone, they'd stop comparing me to her and start accepting me the way I was or at least if I wasn't accepted, it might be for a reason better than not being my sister. She decided not to leave, so it continued on and even escalated.

She wanted to go to medical school and my parents came up with new reasons for force what she did down my throat. They felt if I didn't do whatever she wanted, go where she wanted, etc., it meant she wasn't being supported and without support, she wouldn't get into medical school. I don't see how my not doing things with her like going to the mall or going to football games(something I did not enjoy) was keeping her out of medical school, but that is what my parents came up with and it was always a big fight if I didn't go places with her. It wasn't even go with her sometimes or most of the time, if she wanted me to go along, it had to be 100% or else. They even threatened to have me thrown in a mental institution because not going out enough(i.e. going everywhere she wants me to when she wants me to, since going to places and activities that didn't involve her didn't count as going out or even doing anything in their eyes) was going to warp my personality and make me unable to function anywhere.

She did move out for a while when she went to medical school and all that nonsense stopped, but she kept coming back get leaves from school for various reasons and it all started up again. While she was gone, I seldom went out, didn't go to a single football game, party, etc., and absolutely nothing was said about it. It was so nice to just be myself.

What was worse she eventually dropped out of medical school. Even if she had made it through, it was still wrong to try and beat me down just to boost her glass fragile self esteem so she could make it. I've never forgiven them for what they did, especially what they did to me when I was in college, as they didn't care that they made these promises to me that I'd have a different homelife and made no effort to keep them. It shouldn't have mattered how I spent my time whether my sister was there or not, if she couldn't accept me doing my own thing and devoting every minute to her, that should have been her problem, not mine.

The only solution I've found is to move away from my messed up family for once and for all, and live the way I want to live, without judgement.

I've made my mother cry on multiple ocassions, one time was because I couldn't empathize with how she was feeling. The other times was because I wasn't dressing or behaving in a manor that befits a young girl my age. She was worried how I would be prejudged on appearance alone and that I was sending the wrong signals out. Suffice to say I allow my female relatives to instruct me on all things girly.

I did not talk and my mother felt she could no longer reach me and she wanted me to come back.
I just wanted to be sad, because for some reason I intensely enjoy that feeling of being sad.
And the feeling I get after I cry for some time is the worst feeling because it is the feeling I get when I have nothing to do and life is short and nothing is making me happy or intensely sad anymore and I hate that feeling.