Could you be loved?

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Not that I am sure how it weighs against issues such as over population/personal choice... But there are serious health issues that can arise in women who do not reproduce (eg- breast & uterine cancer).

I am ambivalent on the subject as I am already confronted with similar issues. Though having a kid now, could help alleviate much physical daily pain... I halfway just wanna get a hysterectomy now. I would say the mental stress I have over this issue during the times when I am more so in pain... Has affected my choices in the men I date... I have pursued a few relationships with men who did not want children. It has also implanted a hormonal irrationality (due to the thought of being unable to reproduce) that I want kids, although I cannot see myself as a mother (now).

Think I shall just throw my fate/uterus to the wind.

^Yeah, it's funny that our bodies kind of have a preference toward reproduction, isn't it? And there's nothing like having an option taken away (hysterectomy) to make you want to pursue that option. My mom was 42 when she had a hysterectomy due to uterine fibroids. She had five kids at the time (her youngest was 10), but my parents started considering adoption because it was so difficult for her to face forced sterility.

That said, if a hysterectomy becomes medically necessary for you, please keep in mind that you don't need a uterus to become a mother. There are plenty of kids (particularly in the foster care system) who are in need of loving, permanent homes (and marriage is not a requirement to become an adoptive parent, either). It's not necessarily for everyone, but adopting my daughter was the best decision I ever made.

^^ That's exactly what I get... And ovarian cysts. They think I have endometriosis as well, as it runs in my family... But I've decided to not have surgery unless I absolutely have to... and you can't ID endo. w/o surgery. I just play musical-birthcontrol brand (which is all they'd do pretty much anyway, for the cysts and endo, if they find any) and manage the pain* (I'll even buy some pot from time to time if it gets bad for a long stretch )

edit:* and do follow up doctor visits as necessary

I can't believe someone would suggest that there are more creative things than having children! Having children is the pinnacle of all human creative effort. That's the one thing that puts the common person on the same level as the greatest minds on Earth. You wrote a symphony? The great American novel? A painting? Big deal, I made a PERSON! And at least from birth that person has the potential every opportunity to do all those kinds of things.

Compared with animals that are driven by an instinct to reproduce, we have control over ourselves enough to decide whether to reproduce or not. The fact that I can wake up one day and say "I think I'll make a person," well, it's almost--GOD--like. Seriously, someone is here going to underrate the power to create not just from things that exist in nature (music/sound, art, pen/paper) but to also bring forth new LIFE???

And the irony is while all the "great minds" out there, all the famous pop singers burning up the radios and all the famous geeks getting rich selling software, are famous for realizing great ideas and dazzling creative effort, even the very least of us will (normally) have access to the awesome power of life creation. Beyond that, parents are charged with molding and shaping that new life into the image of what the parents want for themselves (parents often want to see their children do better/have more than they do).

That's an incredible position of power and influence that MOST of us have. You can't say to someone who wants children to find something better to do. There's nothing better than that!

BTW--I'm am electronic musician with a degree in composition. Creative effort is something I tend to obsess about. I envy those people, painters and novelists, who can do amazing things visually and linguistically. But then again, the guitarist in my band is always amazed by what I do with synthesizers and audio editors--he says I'm a genius. I don't think so... But I have to say my two children are my greatest work!

I AM loved, by another Aspie.