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ForsakenEagle
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20 Mar 2010, 12:42 pm

I think I have had similar experiences to what you all are describing. Is it something to be concerned about, or is it just something weird?



spudmonkey
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20 Mar 2010, 12:45 pm

I was diagnosed with disassociation as a kid, whenever I was exposed to a situation that had the potential to cause me distress, I would disassociate. It's like switching into 3rd person mode in a game, you experience your enviroment away from your physical self, your switched off emotionally and to some extent physically. It's sort of a survival skill you can't unlearn, at least thats been my experience.



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20 Mar 2010, 1:30 pm

I had a therapist person throw dissociative disorder nos into the paperwork a few years back. I have times where I am definitely 'doing it on automatic'. It is not uncommon for me to feel as though I am sitting two inches back in my head. It is like I am a visitor in my own body some days... not connected to myself at all...


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20 Mar 2010, 1:44 pm

Aimless wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Not diagnosed with it, but have had spells where reality didn't feel real, and/or I felt like I was sitting in the back of my own head, as if in a darkened movie theatre, looking through my eyes via the movie screen.


I know that feeling very well but don't experience it as much as I used to. I think meds made the difference. Sort of like those scenes in Being John Malcovitch.


Have experienced this in severe meltdown, as though my skull were the cockpit of a large Transformer, and some malevolent alien presence else had roughly shoved me out of the seat and taken over the controls.



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20 Mar 2010, 1:57 pm

Willard wrote:
Aimless wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Not diagnosed with it, but have had spells where reality didn't feel real, and/or I felt like I was sitting in the back of my own head, as if in a darkened movie theatre, looking through my eyes via the movie screen.


I know that feeling very well but don't experience it as much as I used to. I think meds made the difference. Sort of like those scenes in Being John Malcovitch.


Have experienced this in severe meltdown, as though my skull were the cockpit of a large Transformer, and some malevolent alien presence else had roughly shoved me out of the seat and taken over the controls.


Does the part of you that's set aside feel very calm and detached though the other part is raging?



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20 Mar 2010, 2:12 pm

Aimless wrote:
Does the part of you that's set aside feel very calm and detached though the other part is raging?


More puzzled and curious than calm, but not inclined to interfere. Its definitely like two completely separate entities.



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20 Mar 2010, 3:16 pm

I've had both dispersonalization and disreality often enough to have them not totally freak me out, but not long lasting enough to be an issue either. When I was getting regulated on Celexa, I had some big-times dispersonalization and disreality events, if I had been driving I'd have been in serious trouble.


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KoS
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20 Mar 2010, 5:22 pm

spudmonkey wrote:
I was diagnosed with disassociation as a kid, whenever I was exposed to a situation that had the potential to cause me distress, I would disassociate. It's like switching into 3rd person mode in a game, you experience your enviroment away from your physical self, your switched off emotionally and to some extent physically. It's sort of a survival skill you can't unlearn, at least thats been my experience.


This used to be me! I spent 3 years in therapy when I was younger learning how to "live in the real world", good times! It can be unlearned but it is HARD and there's always temptation (because dissociation is a choice, believe it or not!), but it's about buckling up and making a choice just to not do it and remain here. But I'm also not on the spectrum and I don't know if it would be harder for a person with an ASD to give it up.


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27 Mar 2010, 9:48 pm

From what I have read of DPD, I don't see that it should really be considered a disorder at all. From my (limited) understanding of what the condition entails, I would think that it is actually a more accurate understanding of reality. That's my take, anyhow.



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27 Mar 2010, 10:20 pm

I had severe dissociation (including depersonalization and derealizarion, I was diagnosed dissociative disorder NOS) as a reaction to an untreated severe pain condition combined with complex-partial seizures and extreme overwork (by which I mean like... going so far past my limits I barely knew who I was). All three of those things contributed, and getting all three under control has mostly made it go away except in states of severe breakthrough pain (I have trigeminal and occipital neuralgia and body-wide neuropathic pain).


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28 Mar 2010, 8:45 am

I have experiences of derealisation. Sometimes in public places I feel like behind the glass, light becomes highlight, I become heavier and heavier, clumsy and stiff, my voice become deeper and harsher, it's so Not-me. And it's so unreal, it can't be true, it's only a dream... wake up, wake up, get away!

I don't like it.


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28 Mar 2010, 8:48 am

anbuend wrote:
I had severe dissociation (including depersonalization and derealizarion, I was diagnosed dissociative disorder NOS) as a reaction to an untreated severe pain condition combined with complex-partial seizures and extreme overwork (by which I mean like... going so far past my limits I barely knew who I was). All three of those things contributed, and getting all three under control has mostly made it go away except in states of severe breakthrough pain (I have trigeminal and occipital neuralgia and body-wide neuropathic pain).


May I ask Anbuend, what Rx are you taking for your body-wide neuropathic pain? I'm curious because I take Lyrica for FMS, IC and Hunner Syndrome.

Edited to correct IS to IC



Last edited by Taupey on 28 Mar 2010, 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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28 Mar 2010, 9:23 am

I've been depersonalised all of my life (I'm now 49). It isn't a problem as such for "me" anyway. Concepts of a personal self are somewhat vague. I don't really know who or what "I" am anyway.

My earliest memories as a child are looking at "my" hands knowing they weren't me but something that belonged to me. Same with my face in the mirror - I'm still surprised to even have a face! Same at a deeper level too. Thoughts, emotions, things I say are often witnessed rather than being me. According to Buddhism this is a sought after state. :lol:

From what I understand of the mind and brain, sentiments of having an "I" or "me" are artefacts of the brain anyway. No such entity really exists. It is just a construction or "token" of the brain to allow a distinction between the particular body the brain is in to that of other bodies and objects around it. So in a sense "I" am more cued into reality than those with this illusory "I" construct.


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28 Mar 2010, 9:49 am

I feel sth like this above. I think Is it really ME? This body is horrible, why so big? Wasn't smaller body to choose? I can't manage with all these functions! I can't manage my voice, wasn't smaller scale to choose?

And I feel inside conflict: one half is SO PERFECT, I MUST BE BETTER! and second is disorganised and forgets about many things. I'm type of person who can't come on time (although wants so much, really wants!), but brings works and they're so well done, give me highest note, please. I can't see any sense in this task, you must be really bored and school is f***ed up, but I'm gonna do it perfect.
I know I should learn now, but I can't get doing it... and which half is real me?
I want to love all the world, but I also want to destroy some things/people to make it better... which half is real me? I still don't know.


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Kajjie
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28 Mar 2010, 10:51 am

Alphabetania wrote:
I just looked at Depersonalisation Disorder in Wikipedia. No, I am afraid that doesn't seem to be the same thing as is described in the book I am reading. (Unless I just don't understand the way in which the condition manifests itself.) It is still a very helpful book on anxiety, though, and I say this in spite of the fact that I don't think the author really 'gets' the role of sensory problems in meltdowns. I find the rest of it very helpful, even the stuff about how hypervigilance contributes to meltdowns.


I'm currently reading that book :)

I do not have a depersonalisation disorder* but do suffer depersonalisation, derealisation and other similar oddities sometimes. Often it's only very mild and doesn't bother me much, but I have had shutdowns that caused me to feel very numb and fake or lifeless for several days.

*I most probably have an anxiety disorder, though, (been treated for many years but have never been told "You have G.AD." or anything) which can cause depersonalisation attacks.

My psychology lecturer said depersonalisation is partly to do with feedback from the body (if I have understood and remembered correctly). This would probably make autistic people prone to it as our senses are muddled and if the feelings from our own body are messed up or absent entirely due to sensory problems then this could result in depersonalisation.


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28 Mar 2010, 11:03 am

Had anybody an Out Of Body Experience?
Me not, I haven't seen myself like strange person. But I often feel outside, like ok, I adjust Automatic-drive and be right back


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