Lesbian Aspies

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Are there any lesbian aspies on this site. I am lesbian but I find many NT girls hard to deal with. who is a lesbian, and speak on it. do you also feel that many NT girls are hard to deal with

ya got one right here

We had some queer aspie threads going they are buried. I have met a few lesbian aspies here, but only NT ones in real life. And yes they are hard to deal with I am so confused by one as we speak.

I'm bi (currently dating a guy) but all the women I've been with have been NT. They're not easy to figure out at all.

There's only one who has held my attention long enough and she was NT, but she totally got me. She understood my quirks and she was really blunt so it was easy to know what she was thinking/what she wanted.

I am. Not clear whether you mean NT girls or NT lesbians specifically. NT females are not fun for me to deal with...I have been pretty surprised sometimes that even my super liberal NT straight friends think I have a thing for them. A couple of times I have been really hurt by this because I expected better of them, that they knew me better than that (in the couple cases I am thinking of they were completely not my type, I had no feelings for them beyond basic human concern and they still thought I did, which really pissed me off...I think it's some inherent homophobia that gay people are oversexed and therefore want everyone all the time, or some egotism that they themselves are 'all that' which is grating).

I don't know that I know any lesbian aspies so I really don't have a basis for comparison. As far as straight NT women go generally I don't have 'real' friendships with them since I always feel they are trying to put me in a box or a pecking order. Women in general I think do the 'crabs in a bucket' thing, where they want to oppress and designate a pecking order. I don't feel this from men, at least not outside of work, work is different, where with guys I won't feel it til they feel threatened. With women it's not just work, it's every aspect of life where it feels like they want to make sure no one has 'more' or 'better' than them. I'm not really good at articulating this but it's a total drag to be around so I avoid it whenever possible. Like over who has bigger breasts or better hair, a bigger house, smarter kids (I don't have kids but I have picked up on it), whatever. I mean, every freaking thing is a competition, and it just wears me out the way they operate. I am capable of being genuninely happy for other people's good fortune, and i really don't understand people who aren't...it's always a shock to me to find out people are not genuinely happy for me if something good happens. I try to limit my exposure to that stuff as much as possible. It would probably be accurate to say that I just avoid relating to NT straight females on a 'real' level as much as humanly possible. I have met alot of NT lesbians who have similar values although being a part of an oppressed minority does make them a bit deeper as people, most of the time.

There are a lot of lesbian/bisexual aspies here
Welcome to WP

Last edited by Solsikke on 08 Apr 2010, 1:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Yeah I meet a lesbian aspie in real life.. She is real nice...

There is a yahoo group called "The Other Queers" for queer aspies

and I've got a forum up www.gayaspie.com

be cool to get people connected through that

Yes, I think many NT girls are hard to deal with.
I really dont understand them

It pisses me off too when they assume that because I have an attraction to some females, I'm attracted to them. I have yet to be attracted to any straight females. Maybe because I don't even consider them as a possibility.



NT women for most part definitely play games and I refuse to play such stupid games with any of them as well. I haven't had any relationships with AS women to know if any of them play ret*d games like a lot of the NTs do or not. I would like to think most of us are above doing that. But I wouldn't be surprised. We're not all equally on the spectrum.



Most of the time men will not play this game with me either because they don't consider me a threat or someone who is competing. But I know lots of NT men who play the same games just like the NT women. My best friend can be like that sometimes. I find him beyond annoying when he gets like that and it's not directed at me, it's when I hear him talking about him doing it with other men. And it seems even worse in small towns. Everybody is desperately trying to play "king of the hill". I'm always like "have fun children." and go find a good book to read in peace and quiet somewhere.



Yes every F-ing thing is a competition. Does it ever, it wear me out too.



Yes, I am sincerely happy for people too but they just do not seem to realise or understand it's not a competition for me. It use to surprise me but not so much anymore.



I have never once watched Desperate Housewives. I never had an interest to do that like my mother and sisters. Now I know why. I'm happier when I avoid relationships with NT women. I agree, NT Lesbians/Bisexual Women do have similar values for the most part. But aren't shallow like their straight NT sisters.

Taupey
BTW I'm an AS Bisexual Woman

Hi all....I am a lesbian. Over the years i have found it difficult to maintain relationships with other lesbians my longest relationship lasting 2 years with a very understanding woman who got all my little quirks but who ultimately needed to feel loved. Since then i have tried to be active on the lesbian scene but find it too stressful. Its hard as i would love to have a few friends. I am coming round to the idea that im likely to have aspergers and would like to be in contact with other AS lesbians. I find that i relate easier with men and that being around NT lesbians is difficult as they all seem so ultra confident (sweeping generalisation i know!) and are able to keep conversations going for ages while i look on feeling painfully awkward.

very succinctly put. I am sorry this is the case, but it is. The one exception was my hometown where there are tons of really cool enlightened women. But it is a unique place on the earth. And even they make that awful mistake of thinking that because you are gay you *must* want to sleep with them

Hi everyone...

Just to let you know, I support every one of you. I am glad you're all part of the GLBT Community. Currently, I attend a place of worship that has an open and affirming stance towards sexual orientation (probably half the attendees are GLBT). I graduated from one of the most liberal universities (and also one of the leading institutions with regard to promoting women's issues) in the United States that is it not on either the west or east coast. I was part of the university's Commission on the Status of Women chapter. One of my former bosses (who is still at the university) is gay, and one of my former fellow graduate students (who I also worked with) is gay as well.

Regardless, I am straight and heterosexual. I was wired this way when I came into the world. I feel no shame that I am wired this way, as none of you should feel any shame for being wired the way you are. Remember that.

I don't understand. Did anybody mention shame at any point in this thread?

I'm NT and pansexual.

I think girls in general are hard to deal with, not just NT's. But even though I feel girls are much more difficult then guys, I'm still a lesbian.

I've never once found myself attracted to a straight woman yet often they acted like they thought I was looking at them. It bothered me so much I stopped telling people I was bi. Around that time I had a roommate who claimed she was straight (later she came out lesbian) who really was so mean to me and would spread rumours about me being a sexual deviant - which I was not - I never so much as kissed a person in her presence. She turned a whole floor of people in our building against me. It was very weird. It makes me think of politicians who are so against gay rights getting caught in homosexual relationships. Huh, makes me think of phobias and what their connection is within us - what we're really afraid of.