Alone I break

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Hi, I have a bit of a problem. I don't miss people. I just go through life dealing with my own weirdness. I don't think about the people in my life....this includes both family and friends. Do you also have this problem? I do not, nor have I had a girlfriend due to my lack of 'social appeal' ( yes, I made up a new term!). Social appeal is the ability to draw people to yourself due to the way you carry yourself!

I don't usually miss people, but I do think about them (certain ones) once in awhile or pretty often. But I've never been attached to anyone to the point that I need to be with them.

*Lack of "social appeal" is a good term

I rarely miss people, either. I'll think about people I'm fond of every now and then, as Peko said, but mostly people are out-of-sight, out-of-mind for me, in a way. It's not that I don't care about the people in my life, I just get wrapped up in my own things. This is something I try to correct as much as possible, but it can become stressful and I end up feeling irritable and resentful of people for making demands on my time. On the other hand, if I don't, people become irritable and resentful towards me because I'm not meeting their needs in the relationship. It's a fine line to walk.

It's a problem because people expect you to miss them if you haven't had contact with them for awhile. They then ask you why you never visit them or phone them. Shouldn't it work both ways? If THEY miss me then they should call or visit. It's not up to me. I know it makes me sound heartless but I'm really not.

If I don't need the person for anything, I don't miss them. Prior to my diagnosis, I used to feel guilty about it, but thankfully, I don't anymore. For example, when I want to play a board game or something that requires other people, I miss my friends. But on the other hand, if I don't need them for something, I generally don't even think of them. This has some of my family somewhat angry with me because I don't call them or anything. My grandma in particular. When I see her a few times a year she'll say something like, "He never calls/visits me." My logic is that if I don't need anything from her or have anything specific to say to her, why would I visit/call? If she/anyone has something they want to say to me or wants to see me for some reason, they can call me or invite over.

Just additionally, I completely understand when people do get upset if I don't contact them or don't miss them. You see, relationships and socializing are like a bond, not a simple to and fro where it's up to the one who misses to contacted the missed. It's difficult to explain because it's an organic thing.