understanding emotions

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My son tends to get very emotional about the sad parts of movies. Tonight we watched "Bolt" and as usual, by the end he was hugging and kissing us and telling us how much he loves us and seeming very sad. Then he told us he was just faking being emotional, but we noticed that he was still crying and sounding weird.

Finally we worked it out that he thought his emotions were "fake" because they came from watching a movie, which he knows isn't real. He didn't really understand where the feelings came from, or how they could be real feelings when they weren't based on anything that actually happened.

He's such a complex and fascinating guy.

Wow...thats some serious insight!

You could tell him that yes, he's right, movies are fake. But they are created by a team of very talented people, who's job it is to create a story that will make the person watching the movie feel real emotions.

A good movie makes you feel for the characters in the movie. You feel bad for the dog maybe, or happy for the cat, or scared for the girl, or you feel like laughing for the hamster.

This is the job of the movie makers. So if you feel something like this, it is okay, it just means that it was a really good movie!

Yeah, I tried to explain that causing emotions is one of the functions of art. But it was already way past his bedtime, so I'm not sure much was sinking in.

Really interesting thread, and a good point by Vivienne. I would like to add two things. First, you have provided an excellent example of good parenting, taking the time to get to know your child and understand what's going on in their heads and hearts...sometimes this take a lot of time and patience. Second, there is a bigger picture that you might consider discussing with your child, and that is that emotions can be communicated between people in a variety of ways, not just movies. For example, poetry, music, conversation, eye contact, etc. Everyone has emotions, including the makers of movies, and it is important to learn what other people's emotions are, especially your loved ones and other people like friends whom you care about. Thanks for posting!

That's a really good point; I think that's an area he doesn't understand well yet.