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I often find myself getting drawn into forum discussions here and elsewhere on all sorts of things. I find it very difficult to not be drawn in, particularly on other forums, and inevitably it ends up degenerating into personal attacks (from them, not me). This really hurts me but I cannot extract myself when a discussion turns like this.

Do others have difficulty disengaging and if so, how do you manage it?

i normally stop posting back,

Do you not have that overwhelming compulsion to reply then? I'm not talking about general, aimed at nobody specific posts. I'm talking about ones aimed specifically at me, especially if they are in a question sort of format. It's like I'm somehow engaged in a conversation that I can't get out of.

yeah this seems what happens when i'm on YouTube, i normally reply back then i just blocked the person.

I have run into the same problem. I become very frustrated when engaged in an argument on a message board and the person is being intentionally pig headed and will not concede their point, no matter how asinine their opinion is.

Often times they are incapable of formulating a coherent counter argument, so they resort to personal attacks to attempt to derail the topic, rather than acknowledging their own short comings.

In these instances I find it difficult to disengage, and want to keep posting to "get the last word," as it were. Therefore, I have stopped posting on all message boards I had previously visited, and this is now the only place I post.

It got so annoying at times that it would keep me up at night wondering if the person had replied again, because if so I needed to reply to their reply. I found it ridiculous that it was stressing me out that much, so I implemented the solution I mention above.

I simply wish to have intelligent discussions, not arguments, and stick to the facts not personal attacks. That rhyme was unintentional, but amuses me nonetheless.

I used to be like that.

All you need to do is not go back to the places that cause you this distress. Its hard at first but you will feel a lot better after a while. I canned a forum full of absolutley AWFUL people this year which I didn't do prior because I was addicted to it. It works wonders.

Just remember, what ever you do, to these people, it will be wrong. Just stop trying, and find forums/message boards with positive and helpful people.

You may be a talk of hot topic for a while, but after that their petty minds will fill with nastiness for some other poor drawn in person, who needs to take the same steps, and forget about you.

I went through a phase of caring about internet discussions for a while too, when I was younger, particularly while I was in charge of a discussion forum of my own. What cured me of the compulsion to get involved and voice my opinion all the time was just seeing enough nonsense over the years to realise that sensible resolutions never happen, and that childish bickering makes up the majority of online interactions - and some even like it that way. I think you need to learn to either ignore or laugh at that if you want to spend any amount of time on the internet without losing your mind.

It might help to count up the number of hours you've invested in arguing, and ask yourself what you've gotten back in return for all that work. Admittedly, for me it did help me develop some skill in articulating myself well in writing and such, but beyond that it can be an enormous waste of energy.

I go through phases. Some times I don't post for a couple of days. When I do, it occasionally turns into a feverish kind of thing where I feel like I need to respond to everything. It can go on for hours if I'm posting to several threads. Wouldn't be surprised if it annoys the hell out of some other posters.

When those days happen, once the email notifications slow down enough for me to squeeze one more post in before the next notification comes in, I shut down the computer quick, then go to bed.

Precisely, that is the same conclusion I reached, well said.

At the moment, I usually disengage early, with this going through my head:

"If they want an apology they can have it,
For inconvenience I might have caused,
But the butterflies in my stomach flew up through my throat and learned to love the open air;
I'm sorry, guys, sit down and have a drink,
But I'm not sorry."

I no longer let the internet wind me up like it used to. I don't think there's any shortcut to get to this point, though.

"You're gonna get yourself knocked down,
So you'd better learn to get back up,
For those who dwell on disaster,
Let sorrow be their master.

Me I've got ten miles to go on a nine mile road,
And it's a rocky rough road, but I don't care,
Life's nothing if not a blind rambling prayer,
Keep your head held high."

I think I've actually gained quite a bit. I've gotten, I think, quite a bit better at articulating in writing, but a couple of other things I've gotten out of it, are (1) practice at considering other points of view and (2) learning to eat crow now and again, sometimes apologizing and making amends with a few people I didn't at first get along with at all.

"Ask yourself what you've gotten back," if you think about it, is typical AS thinking. I won't get into the debate over whether "fitting in" and acting "NT" is good or not. I think that's a personal choice.

Things that happened I gained nothing for (from an Aspie perspective), are:

Helping others to see points of view they hadn't considered.

Helping others learn about some coping strategies I've learned.

I'm not that great at helping anyone in the "real world," and forum posting is one way I can manage pretty well. Sure, it sometimes does interfere with getting other things done, but I manage to get just enough done apart from forum posting i don't worry too much about it. What I've gained from it personally has, in the end, made it worthwhile for me and others, even though the benefit for others is intangible for me.

I try and not let internet drama get to me and I see it for my own entertainment. I used to care what people thought of me so I keep on arguing and arguing trying to prove myself and I decided it's not worth it and who cares what they think. They don't know me. If I am talking to a brick wall, I cut off the conversation. I don't like repeating myself. I don't care if they get the last word.

I used to get bullied a lot online until I started to get tough and trolls have left me alone. Now occasionally I will get them and I've trolled them back just to piss them off or give them a hard time.

I tell myself "it's just the internet."

Long live PPR topic

Just love that forum here, reading responding. I do not find it heated at all, but then I rarely if ever get too emotionally involved.

If you don't stand your corner other people will eat you up for dinner, as it is a cruel world!

Applies in real life and online as well!

I used to have problems with getting too involved in internet "discussions"/arguments too. Now I mostly just ignore it, it doesn't do me any good to get involved in a discussion or argument where nobody is going to bother seeing my point of view...and to be frank, it's just not worth my time and energy to go back and forth arguing with somebody who I don't even know. These days, I just sit back and watch the fireworks when I see internet discussions get heated, it's way more entertaining than getting involved in it yourself.