Eye contact question

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practice makes perfect. Keep trying and you will get used to it.

I can't carry on a conversation and keep eye contact at the same time, either. I practice on my therapist - I think about what I'm going to say, say it, and make brief eye contact at the end of sentences or in pauses. I have to think about it though, it's definitely not natural.

When it comes to my siblings, I'm better at eye contact. I don't know why.

Last edited by Dots on 20 Jun 2010, 9:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Easier said than done for some of us. After fifty years, occasional eye contact, of the hit and run type (as in most of the time when I manage to even do it at all, the other person isn't even looking at me anyway), is all I can manage. I have ever gotten any better at it.

Believe me, I've tried.

Thanks for all your answers, everyone.

Yup. I can't listen to anyone while looking in their eyes. As soon as I do, it's as if their voice fades into the background, and I can't focus on what they're saying anymore.

This is very familiar, but in my case I find it harder to talk to someone while looking in their eyes. I'm sort of like a deer caught in the headlights, so I have to avert my eyes before talking. I think my brother and my father are the only ones who understand that about me, so they'll ask me a question and then immediately look away so that I can answer. It's kind of funny when I think about it. I've noticed that my brother tries not to look at me at all when we talk, God bless him for that.

thank you all for sharing your views on this. my 4 yr old is an aspie and i was trying something yesterday with him. he likes to climb in bed with us, but prefers to lay at my back. yesterday morning my back was at the edge so he had no choice but to lie in front of me. usually i look at his face when hes lying in front of me (he always faces me with his head on my pillow) but this time i tried looking up at his hair, or down at his chest, or up towards the ceiling, while using peripheral vision to see where he was looking. he looked at my face a lot more than usual. so not really increased eye contact, but more face time i guess youd call it.

my SO is aspie as well and has trained himself to make eye contact. its often an intense unblinking stare, and he sometimes drops his head down a bit so hes looking up at you through his lashes/brows. its got kind of a creepy "hey little girl, want some candy?" feel to it. so sometimes, more eye contact is not better!

i cannot have an Conversation i keep eye contact thought out, maybe a few secends then most of the time i have my head turn to the side,

I cannot think and stare someone in the eye at the same time. People who give constant eye contact creep me out a little. Thankfully most NTs do look away occasionally while talking.

after a few words i usually let myself off the hook and just look sideways, so i'll say it's easier.

I hate eye contact.

My good eye contact has been pointed out to me as a reason why I can't have AS.

I don't think that's true.

I can't even follow what characters on TV are saying if I look at their eyes. I always look at the mouths. But I can look at someone's eyes if I'm talking to them in person, for instance if I'm talking to a therapist (though in other situations I usually don't because it feels too intimate), but i can't do it when I'm talking because I need to think about what I'm going to say.

I can do the eye contact thing easily, except all I get from that is "ooh, big blue eyes with a bit of wrinkles, I wonder if she's 40 yet". Apparently NT people can get all sorts of stuff when looking at eyes, all I get is what their eyes look like. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a myth that they can pick up all those stuff. I'm in a family full of Aspies so I can't easily test that.