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abitclueless
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14 Aug 2010, 4:44 pm

My current thinking is that I don't want to do the whole getting married and having children thing because I don't have the right personality. So I like the idea of a casual relationship, all the benefits of a relationship without it being heavy and stressful and I DON'T MEAN full-on sex all the time, definitely not any weird sex.

If I can get it I'm not ready for it yet because I still have to get more freedom and still have to get more control of my life, (i.e less control for my psychologist but how I'll do that I don't know!).

Maybe this is something different for this part of the forum, maybe it will get moved into the adult part but I don't think so, I haven't used very many adult terms.



OneStepBeyond
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14 Aug 2010, 4:51 pm

makes sense to me



Pistonhead
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14 Aug 2010, 5:06 pm

That's more or less what I'm going for at this point.


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abitclueless
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14 Aug 2010, 5:18 pm

Thanks for saying you feel the same way, I thought I was wanting something that no-one else would support or want. Now if I could only get the freedom and find a nice young woman who lives near me, (North Down/ Belfast in Northern Ireland) ,who feels the same way and wants the same.



FerrariMike_40
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14 Aug 2010, 5:54 pm

These are my plans too, not everyone is cut out for the whole wife & kids life and I know I am not.


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abitclueless
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15 Aug 2010, 1:57 pm

Yeah I agree with you FerrariMike_40, since everyone on the planet is uniqely different and consequently everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. I'm glad that a few other people feel the same way as me because it makes me feel that I'm not alone in my way of thinking.



MrEGuy
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16 Aug 2010, 10:54 pm

There is no such thing as a casual relationship. You will discover this when your "casual" partner becomes jealous of who else you're fooling around with and attempts to kill you with an automobile.



Pistonhead
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16 Aug 2010, 11:28 pm

MrEGuy wrote:
There is no such thing as a casual relationship. You will discover this when your "casual" partner becomes jealous of who else you're fooling around with and attempts to kill you with an automobile.


LOL oh how true!


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basstrousers
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17 Aug 2010, 2:33 pm

MrEGuy wrote:
There is no such thing as a casual relationship. You will discover this when your "casual" partner becomes jealous of who else you're fooling around with and attempts to kill you with an automobile.

It's true. I see what the OP is trying to say though. I would like to have a faithful, committed relationship but I don't think moving in/having kids is on the cards (probably wouldn't be for a lot of people my age anyway)
Last time I was in a relationship though I really thought it was going to end up like that- I just assumed it had to go the way of moving in/getting really serious. But I didn't know I was aspie so I was always trying to do what I thought was appropriate, not what I felt



Shehzain
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17 Aug 2010, 4:49 pm

I can relate to an extent. I've thought about getting married in the future when the right guy comes along, but no kids for me. :P



abitclueless
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20 Aug 2010, 2:09 pm

The fact that there are a few on the forum who feel the same way as me gives me hope that if that is mirrored in real life - one day, hopefully soon, I will be in a casual relationship.



auf_ehre
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23 Aug 2010, 1:53 am

I like being married so much I did it 3 times.


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hale_bopp
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23 Aug 2010, 6:03 am

I think along the same lines.

I enjoy the love and companionship of someone special but I don't like the idea of marrige or children. What I want isn't "casual", but it's certainly not marrige or a life long commitment. (husband, kids)



drown_my_sense_is
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23 Aug 2010, 8:29 am

you never really know what you want until the time comes, perhaps get some relationship first. Who says you must decide now?


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MissConstrue
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23 Aug 2010, 9:00 am

This isn't too far from my thoughts as well. I really can't trust men enough to marry or have children....that doesn't mean men aren't trustworthy, I would just hate risking it all for this idolation of "love" in a romantic sense. There are times however when I often think what it'd be like to have my own children whenever I see other families with kids.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Aug 2010, 11:22 am

if there's no will for a long life commitment like marriage or forming a family then there's no point of starting a serious relationship in the first place.

It's either black or white , that's what I think. Grays are stupid ....grays have no sense.


Either you live on one night stands and escorts (so just sex) or you either try to be with someone in a long long (with no time restriction, until further notice) commitment.

Casual relationships for weeks , months and even for few years are useless.