Can Asperger's be developed?

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What if I can't talk anymore because what I say no longer describes what I think?

What if the words don't work anymore?

What if I still care about everybody just as much but I don't know what to do about it anymore?

When people ask me a question and I don't know what to say I don't say anything. It's very rude and disgusting to do but I do it anyway because I don't know what to say.

When people scream at me I hide and cry and try to make them stop. Sometimes I beg them to stop and they don't care because they are horrible people. This is the only one that has been true my whole life.

Actually, you're not alone. It may sound glib, but I get it. Been on both sides of this--screamed at my AS son out of frustration, been told years earlier how my parents don't understand me when I had nothing to say to them, staring into space.

Are you feeling like the "symptoms" are getting more frequent?

As far as AS being developed, certain aspects of it do seem to show themselves later than others. It took me until my later years in high school to realize that, yes, there was something different about me.

I still discover new things about myself as I enter different stages of life, years after the initial realization that I really do have AS. For example, I only recently pinned down that I don't like to sit with my back facing where people walk behind me.

There's a page with a long list of reasons for things like this all written down somewhere. I don't recall where.

The gist of it is that:
You might have to stop "faking it" when you burn out from doing things you were never really capable of in the first place
You might temporarily have to stop "faking it" while under stress or while things are changing

You might have a TBI
You might have just been diagnosed
You might be having seizures

A few hundred other possibilities. "Losing skills" is common in adolescence.

I have always known I was different but never really thought about it until I was ten. Then when I was 16 I felt my symptoms had gotten worse and I can remember being told about a year later it's not that they are getting worse, I was just becoming more aware of it.

There had been things I had discovered like I don't pick up on cues or body language. At first I was in denial because I refused to believe I had those issues and it was the other kids who were expecting me to be a mind reader and they were just being jerks. I guess I didn't want more stuff wrong with me. Plus my defense was "How would he know, he wasn't even there to see it?" It was my shrink who told me.

But over the years I have realized how I may have came off to those other kids in my school and no wonder they didn't want me around. I got a realization thanks to my ex because he had a couple similar traits as me and I found them annoying so I changed one of them about myself but the others I couldn't change because I don't know when I am being literal and I can't help when I am not getting things and I just felt bad because I could see why lot of people would get pissed at me for not getting it even though I be asking questions to get it. Even if I did pretend to get it, they would just think I didn't listen to them so there was no way out of it. I just say I'm stupid so that way they know I am honest and I admit it and they won't have to be so pissed at me.

I think you should probably stop beating yourself up over being "rude and disgusting"--because you're wrong; it's not. Your basic NT, if he didn't answer a question, would be choosing not to answer the question to be annoying or rude. You, on the other hand, aren't answering because you can't figure out how--quite another thing, and something you can't be blamed for. Sure, it's recommended to practice communicating so you can improve your skills, but--I cannot stress this enough--you cannot be blamed for not being able to do something. Disability is not shameful. Not being able to answer a question is not a moral failing; it's a speech/language issue.

One thing you might try is practicing the phrase, "I don't know how to answer that," or simply, "I don't know," instead of silence, so that the NT understands you are not trying to be rude. Whether you'll get it out when you need to use it is another thing altogether, but if it works, it could be useful. The likely response is probably going to be them re-phrasing the question, or possibly asking something else. But whether or not you manage to answer the question after they do, they will probably know you were confused rather than rude. If it doesn't work, or you don't figure out how to use it, that still doesn't mean you're being rude. You're not.

pekkla, "I am alone" was my signature, apparently. It was not part of the post and not related to it.

I believe I am aware of all or at least most of my "symptoms" or other things including those which aren't Aspie-ish. "Conseleurs" (who I have to talk to sometimes because I am homeless) tell me I shouldn't have Asperger's if I am aware of my words being wrong. But none of them have ever listened to the reasons I think I have it and the reasons I do things that mean I don't.

"Symptoms" getting more frequent? Not frequency, but the words misuse is getting worse. The explaining is getting worse too but the reason I started doing that is because of my dad's abuse. The reason I did so more often and when talking on forums etc. is because I noticed that a lot of people are dumb and can't understand basic reasoning or have never heard of certain cultural things so they actually need the explanations. Otherwise I would not do it when online. I know that the "dumb people" are not just a result of me having Asperger's and incorrectly thinking they are dumb as a result, because every over-explained sentence is something my friends would know automatically.

...Another reason for explaining, such as above, is anticipating questions that are very likely to be asked or considered if I don't explain it.

Dandelion, your post is a little off I think. Or at least the second part of it. (But I thank you for the reply anyway ). I am not "diagnosed" and definitely not having seizures (O_O). I might stop faking things as a decision in front of my abusive parents but whether or when I was faking something or not, is something I know.

You can see some Asperger's or even autistic traits in the way I type this post. I honestly did not used to type this way. You could look at my e-mails from 2006, and they are not typed this way. The use the correct words except what a normal person would occasionally/rarely be slightly wrong, and the sentences are normal as well. (Although I am a geek, so some sentences may be considered only normal among geeks... sorry for the explanation but I frequently get ridiculed or told I'm doing something wrong by a person who has apaprently never talked to a geek before and assumes that random subject changes and other geek-normal things are indicative of mental issue when they actually are not. And there are a few inserted subjects HERE in this post that are not geek-normal... but again I am aware of it, and is not something I normally do.)

I don't know what TBI is.

I used to be wonderful and perfect at making everyone feel better all the time, even with only words while online. Now I can only do it in person when I can touch them. And only with someone who I can touch, or someone who literally never had someone listen to them before (those people being strangers, like the sort of random "constant casual acquaintances people).

Some things started as my father gets severely more abusive as I am an adult, but at this same time was with my Asperger's boyfriend. I have (my whole life apparently) a tendency to absorb the traits of those around me. It can be true either with someone I am very close to, or with a large group of people who all act the same way such as developing temporary accents. I thought of this when I typed "Now I can only do so in person" in the paragraph above. I have recently become very close to my autistic friend, who frequently says he will "do so" in places where it is not the right or grammatically correct thing to say. Now I have started saying this sometimes.

I am 28 and "began any symptoms" in adulthood after 20.


Another reason of the list of "don't have it," is that I do not like the arrogance of people with Asperger's Syndrome including the insistence that you couldn't possibly have "not meant it that way", while refusing to even allow you to speak to explain how you did mean it or why you said it. This was my AS boyfriend but I am sure there are others who do it as well. League Girl, I very much respect you for turning your thinking to be aware of a situation where you thought the other way.

League Girl, you are NOT stupid if you don't get something - at least not usually; if it's about using a computer or something then maybe, but it's about "Where do you want me to put this?" then definitely not. It is normal to get mad at someone who doesn't understand you in certain easy things, BUT YET should only be temporary and non-abusive. If they are doing anything worse to you when you don't understand it, then please get some new friends... asking questions is always good.

I did not say I am rude and disgusting. I am not. However, not answering a question is a very rude and disgusting thing to do, unless you answer it in some other way such as by bringing the item you were asked about. I would get mad at my Aspie boyfriend - or any other boyfriend I've had, and my mom who sits in silence for 20 f*****g minutes on the phone just to be a dick (she has no ASD) - if I have asked a question many times and he won't say I don't know. Partially because he knows that if he doesn't know I will help him with it to figure it out... there is never a thing someone close to me can't say that I will not eventually understand anyway. But it DOES make you a dick to do this. I don't need to "practice any phrases" and saying so is insulting. I clearly know the meaning and the uses of these words or else I would not be able to type them or to be in a situation where a blood-related person expects me to answer them. The reason I don't say anything is because answering the question normally will get me screamed at, screaming does not help me think of how to answer it "in his mind", and saying "I don't know" will also get me screamed at in many cases, or maybe I do know and am hoping to be able to tell him so he will stop screaming. I also sometimes do it with strangers or acquaintances because they are only a stranger or acquaintance and it is not worth the lengthiness and hassle of explaining the truth. IF it is a close friend then I may rarely be quiet for a minute while I try to figure out what I should say or if I should say it. In that case "I don't know" is not a correct answer. But I think a normal person may also do that occasionally on a very heavy question. If they are capable of emotions, anyway.

My son has Asperger's Syndrome (he is 6), and he is acting like maybe 3 or 4 except for his verbal skills, which are normal and maybe higher then others'. (Verbal = words; having a conversation is of course not right.) When I was 5 (and 6) I was normal, I did not need help going to the bathroom or make weird insistence or look like a younger age. But his dad does not have any form of autism, though he does have cerebal palsy, ADD, and possibly schizophrenia though I have found out that some of the things he says are true and that makes the schizophrenia less likely.

You can't develop AS in your 20s.

If you were NT before your 20s, but you developed atypical traits in your 20s, then you are NT with atypical traits, and the atypical traits are not caused by any form of autism.

You probably have Depersonalization Disorder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder

Actually I now know that it can be developed, since autism is caused BT things like toxins in the food and pollution, and since the masses and masses of people now diagnosed with autism in modern times are actually suffering from brain damage and do not have autism in it's original form. A diagnosis of autism still makes sense because of the similarities in the way many people with this diagnoses think (but some don't), but the issues autistic people are having except in rare cases would be due to brain damage. Do some Google research if you do not know about these things.

Thank you for the Wikipedia link , I am about to check it out. Although due its title it sounds like something that would be impossible for me to have (or for any highly empathetic human being to have).