Learning to live with the public?

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Ok so I'm sure some one has asked this but i can't fond it, you could say that I'm coming towards a point in my life where I'm finding the big differences and similarities, I'm a 16 in a few weeks 17 year old male, and I have noticed that I am starting to question apt more and all the awnsers I get, from my parents are I don't know, so I'll throw some questions I have, why would a person deny the truth, why would some one use common sense as an excuse to say I'm wrong when it's not common to me, why is it such a big deal to not believe in god, ect ..... I simply am coming to the age of trying to become independent and nothing makes sense so I don't know if I'm going to survive and I might be stuck living with my parents

Simple answer is: social norms.

People do stuff, and "believe" in stuff, and say stuff, and other people follow suit. Some of them do so because they want to fit, and others do so because they have no original thought of their own and just repeat what everyone else does.

You are an independent thinker and so aren't swayed by social norms, and are thus able to see how silly those norms are.

Most of the behavior you mentioned is just delusion of influence, with religions being at the top of the list.

The sad thing in all this is that you now have a choice.

You can conform and lead a relatively happy life. You will fit into the society, find a cute girl to marry, have kids, get a house, have friends, make friends with your bosses and get promoted beyond your actual abilities and make lots of money.

Or you can remain a misfit, but remain true to yourself. You will have few friends, you will not get an important job that pays well, and your chances of a happy marriage would be slim to none.

Yeah sucks, doesn't it?

The choice for all here is a binary one: stop bitching at how screwed up the society is. Just find a way to fit in and be happy. Or find a way to be happy alone.

The tragedy is that just about everyone on this forum wants to remain a misfit and yet somehow have a healthy relationship and a good job and friends. That isn't totally impossible, but it is damn hard to accomplish.

:-/

People deny what you perceive as the truth because it's simply in their best interests to do so, they may benefit from having their version of the truth prevail over yours. In the real world (as opposed to the world of thoughts and ideas) people have needs and those needs are more important than concepts of truth or rationality. For example, a priest can't have his fancy church if he doesn't make people believe in the fairytales in his bible. Being without his church would be unpleasant for him, so it's just more convenient for him to defend the set of ideas which guarantee him a church, rather than defending the set of ideas which you consider to be accurate.

Someone would use "common sense" against you for the same reason. In the world of thoughts and ideas it makes no sense to ignore the logical problems with someone's argument, but in the real world of animals and people, of nature and of competition, one creature will generally do anything within its power to come out of any conflict as the victor, whether their words or actions make logical sense or not. If they were to accept your ideas and concede that their own are flawed, they will "lose" in a sense. Creatures find it more favourable to win than to adhere to abstract codes of intellectual conduct.

It's a big deal to believe in "god" because of the reasons you yourself are familiar with. The world is a confusing place full of conflict where a lot of things make no sense, and people take comfort in clinging to their idea of a "creator" because it brings them a comforting illusion of order to this whole mess. Gods also provide a central pillar for groups of people to form around with their shared beliefs, in cults, giving them safety in numbers and a greater advantage in this world of irrationally competitive creatures. Their beliefs hold their groups together and give them a reason to strive together as one entity, to compete with all of the other entities, such as those who disbelieve in their god and thus single themselves out as their competitors rather than their allies.

It may not make a whole lot of sense when you think about it, but some things aren't really meant to be understood solely through the medium of "thought". If you consider how it feels to be hungry, and ponder a little on how that makes you feel like consuming another living organism, you may get a little closer to understanding why things are this way. It's feelings like that which animate all these bizarre happenings in the world which can't be understood through rationality, things such as selfishness and hunger, among other desires, have origins which most likely predate logical thought, and although they are vague and difficult to validate the significance of with any kind of reasoning, they are still extremely important to people. When it came right down to it, you would probably have difficulty using words and thoughts to explain the roots and origins of your personal desires, such as hunger, but they can be just as important as logical ideas and concepts of truth, and almost always even more so.

When it comes right down to it, a creature forced to choose between its instinctual drives and the value it places on logic/truth, will choose its instinctual drives every time. The urge to eat will always overpower a temporary fixation with the concept of honesty, the urge to win or be righteous will almost always overpower a tendency toward adhering to logical patterns. Of course this doesn't even touch on the fact that every individual's concepts of logic and truth are entirely subjective and they vary from person to person, with each person's viewpoint being subtley dictated by the animal drives which their own sense of reasoning serves. Things like the significance of personal feelings like hunger and the drive to succeed don't really need to be explained though, deep down you already know why they are significant, with knowledge on a level which is beyond cognition. These feelings and drives are simply important to you because they are "you", in your purest form. Well, everyone else feels the same way, and due to the nature of the world, not everyone can exist equally. People strive toward the greatest personal existence they can achieve and this leads us back to a world of bizarre and seemingly irrational competition, conflict and confusion, which is all so much simpler when you don't "think" about it too much.

Whew, huge rant.

Being happy alone isn't all that bad. Living alone in perfect calm and being able to focus on your special interests, or just slacking in bed watching movies = Priceless!

I just deal with the public, as I go along my daily life, living my life, for myself.

Sad to say, a lot of them on paper buy into "you have your truth, I have mine", but will not let you hold to a different truth. Rare indeed - thouigh they do exist - are the ones who can allow that having looked at different data you might come to diffderent conclusions.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. No one is entitled to his own facts.

ruveyn

No of course it isn't bad! That is why I suggested it.

What is very very bad, is trying to fit in and trying to be social and trying to find a meaningful romantic relationship, without any attempt to understand the social norms, let alone conform to them. That just doesn't work, and leads to repeated rejections and loneliness, and ultimately biterness.

You can't have it both ways.

QFT.