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cardac
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24 Aug 2010, 2:38 am

Hello,

I'm new and signed up for a particular reason, although I think I'll continue to use this site for other reasons once I finish up getting reactions to this...

I had a beautiful, smart, nearly perfect girl into me this summer, and I messed it up soooo bad. I became obsessed with her, didn't take advantage when I had the chance, and then sent a bizarre message to her on facebook that creeped her out. If she didn't know me so well, she probably wouldn't have even responded, but she did respond and this led to an hour long phone chat that was actually kind of normal...

She said she wasn't interested but it was still a nice chat. Of course, 2-3 hours later I sent her a text along the lines of "would we have hooked up this summer if it wasn't for my social awkwardness?" or something similarly weird (she didn't respond).

Now I am just devastated. I'm pretty much over her, I think, but she was seriously sooooo perfect in every way and seemed to be soooo into me, and I still managed to mess it up. I'm so scared that this is going to be my life...fall in love with a girl, get her to like me, and then creep her out and have my heart broken without even getting to kiss her.

Can anyone relate? or at least help me out? I was thinking about asking her if she'd be nice enough to sort of be my relationship coach until I get a girlfriend, but is that just creepy or what? I honestly don't know.



musicboxforever
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24 Aug 2010, 6:39 am

I can relate to that. I'm so glad there everyone didn't have mobile phones when I was younger otherwise I would have probably made alot of probs for myself through texting. I used to write letters to guys I liked. Which used to freak them out.

All I can say, is view this as a learning thing, a stepping stone toward getting to know yourself better and understanding how to behave with girls.

At some point you will meet someone else and although this girl seemed perfect, you will realise that she wasn't. But I know that the pain of feeling like you missed an opportunity is really hard to deal with. I've felt like that a few times.



Kilroy
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24 Aug 2010, 11:39 am

didn't take advantage!?



PHISHA51
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24 Aug 2010, 1:32 pm

Cheer up mate. Its not the end of the world. Their are plenty of fish out their in the sea. Yes, I can relate to the fact that I get shut down sometimes, but it shouldn't bother you a lot. Just pick yourself up and move forward.


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cardac
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24 Aug 2010, 5:13 pm

thanks guys...to be honest, I'm a 21 year old with no job, no education, no car (I don't even have my license) and am finding that I need to look at this situation in a positive light. I don't know how I could have attracted such a beautiful girl in my state, and furthermore, I don't know how I could have messed it up so bad. But that's my life and if I let it bring me down it'll only mess me up more. I'm realizing that if I ever want to be independent and have a REAL life/REAL relationship, I need to start making some moves. I need to get my license, get a education/job, get a car. I need to attend therapy groups and learn how to communicate properly. Who knows? Maybe a year or two down the line I'll be with this girl, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll meet some new girl. Doesn't matter. All I know now is that I need to focus on me and me alone and when I'm in a better state, I can start looking for love.



KaiG
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24 Aug 2010, 5:31 pm

Good attitude.


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hyperlexian
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24 Aug 2010, 10:51 pm

cardac wrote:
thanks guys...to be honest, I'm a 21 year old with no job, no education, no car (I don't even have my license) and am finding that I need to look at this situation in a positive light. I don't know how I could have attracted such a beautiful girl in my state, and furthermore, I don't know how I could have messed it up so bad. But that's my life and if I let it bring me down it'll only mess me up more. I'm realizing that if I ever want to be independent and have a REAL life/REAL relationship, I need to start making some moves. I need to get my license, get a education/job, get a car. I need to attend therapy groups and learn how to communicate properly. Who knows? Maybe a year or two down the line I'll be with this girl, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll meet some new girl. Doesn't matter. All I know now is that I need to focus on me and me alone and when I'm in a better state, I can start looking for love.

i like what you've said there. sounds like really really good advice to yourself.


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Asp-Z
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25 Aug 2010, 6:03 am

cardac wrote:
thanks guys...to be honest, I'm a 21 year old with no job, no education, no car (I don't even have my license) and am finding that I need to look at this situation in a positive light. I don't know how I could have attracted such a beautiful girl in my state, and furthermore, I don't know how I could have messed it up so bad. But that's my life and if I let it bring me down it'll only mess me up more. I'm realizing that if I ever want to be independent and have a REAL life/REAL relationship, I need to start making some moves. I need to get my license, get a education/job, get a car. I need to attend therapy groups and learn how to communicate properly. Who knows? Maybe a year or two down the line I'll be with this girl, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll meet some new girl. Doesn't matter. All I know now is that I need to focus on me and me alone and when I'm in a better state, I can start looking for love.


Exactly. Life is life - when s**t happens, sort it out and try again. I wish you luck!