My art is disturbing what to do??

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I have been going through a hard time as a target of gang stalking...check out www.gangstalkingworld.com
Anyway, I have been not creating as much because I am so full of rage and pain and my art reflects that. But I must create and continue to let it out...what is in me. It just scares me sometimes when I read it or see it. It is hard to face this darkness within me. But if I dont let it out, the art within me dies and a part of me dies with that. What should I do???
How should I face my shadow self??


Thanks for any and all advice.

Jojo

Art is art. As Otep Shamaya says, it's best to put your rage into something to help get it out, whether it be poetry, drawings, painting, whatever. I wrote a lot when I was in high school. Whether anyone finds it disturbing doesn't really matter. I've gotten called to the office a couple times because people found my stuff "disturbing". It's your art, let it help YOU.

You've got to express what you must. The only thing I'd really recommend is trying to obtain different viewpoints about what you will draw. Not only in the sense of imagining what others might think but also actually asking and actually getting a visual of what might be done under different circumstances....it's about your interpretation but you should always look to take in more than just your own viewpoint.

good luck with the whole gang stalking thing...

I am not worried about what others think as much as facing my own darkness that is a result of my rage over all this stalking, not just what happens to me, but what happens to many other people as a result.
I thought about using my anger about it to create awareness through my art, it is still hard to face the darkness in me because of it. It is like staring at a slaughter of the soul. It is hard to look at, and that is what I see when my art is so disturbing.

As far as luck goes...I need that and then some more.


Jojo

jojobean,

It seems to me that the darkness and rage is going to be there, whether you create or not. That would worry me that in not producing, you are putting off the confrontation with that darkness and rage as it accumulates.

It is human nature to avoid things that make us uncomfortable--NTs do it, too! But if your art is reflecting something that it is uncomfortable, in the long run I suspect that it is healthier to express it, to confront it for what it is, and, in time, to put it behind you.

OK, why do people gangstalk? Is it a power thing? I had no idea there were organized groups for this but I'm beginning to think it might be happening to someone I know. The gang in this case might include the local police.

Visagrunt,

thank you...you are right. Art has always been my healer, but even the uncomfortable things can be healing and fire can be cleasing. Thank you for helping me see that. I was raised in the southeast where women are supposed to be pleasant and cheerful. I guess I have to brake with that tradition for my sanity and art

Aimless,

Gangstalking is alot more common than ppl think. Local police are often culprits and at the least they turn a blind eye or refer one to social services or a psychiatrist when a crime happens. I remember when stalkers stole some of my mom's jewelry during the night. When she found out, she called the cops. They told her to check into mental health services. Recently she was raped by a stalker, and she called the cops and they said, "I dont see how a crime has been commited here." The cops block access to justice by not correctly reporting how things happened. She is not crazy at all...she is the sanest person I know concidering what she has been through would make the average person totally nuts.
But there needs to be awareness about all this because the operate in secretcy and lies and once the cover is blown, it will be hard for them to do what they do to ppl, cause folks who know the truth wont cooperate with them. And if ppl knew the truth, their power is gone.

I think it would be healing for me to use my rage about all this to bring awareness about the issue.

I wrote a poem about it awhile back ago:

Group Stalking: A Firefly in a Jar

Stalked like a firefly trapped in a glass jar
with barely enough holes in the top to breathe;
enormous eyes are plastered against the glass prison
eagerly watching me die of a lack of hope.
Full of dreams, life, and parched for freedom,
my limps franticly scratch the clear doom...leaping and jumping in every direction
for someone to hear me, to set me free.
My heart beats against the eyes on the other side of the glass defying them with
as much hope as my illusions will allow.
All I want is freedom
to fly to my dreams and light a little flame for others to find the path to theirs,
thus is why I am isolated from living.


:end:

Anyway it is a powerful poem...I tried to get it published, but I have not heard anything from the editor.
It may not have made it there. gang stalkers will interupt mail too.
other than that, I can give you some more information for your friend, if you want. There are some books on the subject and "The Enemy of the State" with Will Smith is about organized stalking too. Pretty much tells it how it goes, but is in a much shorter time frame of events with a somewhat happy ending which many targets never see.

Anyway, thank you all for helping me sort this all out. If you want/need any information about this organized stalking, I have plenty of information that might be of help in understanding it, their tactics and methods, but very little information as to what to do about it, but I do know alot about protecting oneself in the moment it occurs. So if you want to know more, let me know.

I've just been reading about it and I think I've seen enough credible sites to believe it's a real phenomenon.

My faith in humanity just took a beating.

Not that I had great faith in human nature to begin with, but this is just evil.

It is evil...there are theories as to who is behind the stalking. The private detective who did extensive undercover work on these groups says it is funded and supported by hate groups working within governments. Elenor White who is another major voice on the issue believes because the pattern is eerily similar to the begining stages of Nazi rule in Germany however this is not just a US problem...there are thousands upon thousands of reports from all over the globe saying the same thing is happpening. So her speculation is that this is a nazi takeover. Of course this is not too far fetched because the nazis tried really hard in wwII to takeover the globe. However, they learned since then that overt takeovers dont work cuz it pisses folks off, so they are trying take 2 which is covert takeover.

However for your friend, the best advice I can give her/him is to document everything and try to keep within the correct time frame. This shows the pattern of stalking. Also they put people on these "lists" to be stalked and if your friend can get proof of being on the list which can be found by either writing the fusion center in each state registered mail, return reciept requested...with a copy of his or her ID and stating a request of all information they have on him/her under the freedom of information act.

Once proof is there and the stalking log is completed, your friend should find a civil rights lawyer

That is the best advice I can give

On the subject of my art and being mad about this. I journaled for a bit and learned that I dont HAVE to be happy. I have to right to be mad about this...and once I came to terms with my anger, the ironic part is that I feel a sence of contentment, not happy, but the pain of struggling to be happy, when I am not, is no longer there. Thank you Visagrunt for helping me see this...you are very wise.

Aimless, you need to keep a low profile with your friend or you will be put on the list, but you can mail him/her my recomendations but dont put a return address on it.

Jojo

I was thinking about using my poetry and drawing to bring awareness about the issue since it is mostly an issue alot of people dont know about until they are a target. After some introspection, I realized that I needed to transform my anger into something that can help others.

Thank you for the ideas...I concider them to be more like social canabals or parasites on humanity.

I read this study done is psychology which was damning for the fate of humanity.
It was done in the wake of WWII where the test subject was assigned the role of the teacher, the student was an actor who was an experiementer unknown to the the sunject. The student was hooked up to electrodes and was supossed to answer questions by the teacher and would get shocked for a wrong answers. Well the experimenter in charge told the teacher/subject to keep increasing the voltage. Well the "teacher" did not know that the student was not actually getting shocked but everytime he was shocked he cursed, slammed the wall, acting like he was in intense pain. The head experimenter kept telling the "teacher" to up the voltage on each wrong answer and the "student" stopped answering the the questions and the experimenter told the teacher to ramp of the voltage as high as possible. The student expressed pain that was debilitating and inhumane. Out of thousands of subjects, 65 percent of people went through all 30 levels of "voltage" even though they expressed distress in doing it and that it was against their morals.
This is why gang stalking works because up to 65 percent of the population does not have to gumption to stand up against athority for what they believe is wrong.

Hi jojo bean, aimless. Just seen your conversation. Take a look at my conversation with pianorak under state sponsored persecution. Good sites on gang stalking are targeted-individuals (UK Gulf War army veterans), exposegangstalking and gang stalking exposed. It looks to me that there is a deliberate creation of a scapegoat class going on. My other handle is prayerwarriorpsychicnot on taknbsorbemwon5.wordpress.com
Hope you are still keeping up your art and poetry. All the best.