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becool
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01 Sep 2010, 5:59 pm

Interesting thread.



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01 Sep 2010, 6:24 pm

I tend to say things grammatically wrong and sometimes quietly, so I get the "What?" from people a lot.



richardbenson
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04 Sep 2010, 3:25 pm

oh yep. i usually repeat what i say, and am fully aware of how not normal it is to do this. the worst is when you have to do something in public, and people give you the look. why its like having a landmine blow your legs off, you know what im talking about



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04 Sep 2010, 9:07 pm

Yes, all the time. I think I speak lowly. I've been told I also sound like I'm British, and I just joke that I watch a lot of BBC. And sometimes I have a complex idea, and the words won't come fast enough to wrap around it. But usually I know to stay quiet in those cases. :) It's frustrating because then the idea becomes clearer later, but it can be too late to express it.



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17 Sep 2010, 3:49 am

If you listen to other people speak, a lot of times it happens to NTs.

I don't think it is an AS thing.



Synecdoche
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17 Sep 2010, 8:54 am

KevinLA wrote:
If you listen to other people speak, a lot of times it happens to NTs.

I don't think it is an AS thing.


But considering that aspies are supposed to be much more quiet than NTs, it'd make sense if it were more common in aspies.



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17 Sep 2010, 2:01 pm

Sometimes. Usually not because I'm too quiet but because I talk fast sometimes. :)



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18 Sep 2010, 5:05 pm

Yes and its highly embarrasing, whether its people complaining I talk too fast or simply my lisp preventing me from even saying a string of words desired let alone them pronounced correctly! In secondary School it was awful becuase I had so little confidence back then and anytime I was asked to repeat what I had said I felt so small, and even now people will ask me to speak up or even not to be so loud yet to me I sound fine, clear as crystal, so it is embrassing.


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KevinLA
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18 Sep 2010, 6:15 pm

Synecdoche wrote:
KevinLA wrote:
If you listen to other people speak, a lot of times it happens to NTs.

I don't think it is an AS thing.


But considering that aspies are supposed to be much more quiet than NTs, it'd make sense if it were more common in aspies.


Yes. But it is easy correctable. Speak louder. I did.

Even when I speak clearly, people don't hear.

Neurotypicals don't process information very well.



APV83
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12 Nov 2013, 4:37 pm

KevinLA wrote:
Neurotypicals don't process information very well.


Strongly agreed. I was accused of mumbling a great deal when I was a kid and when I used to be heavily medicated years ago. For the past six years or so I just flat-out refuse to repeat myself unless it's law enforcement talking to me. All others get the petulant "NEVER MIND!~" from me when they go, "Huh?", or anything equivalent to it, especially the Spanish "Mande?" Regardless of language or pronunciations that throw me off I just tell everyone I forgot what I said so that they stop expecting me to repeat it.

I try my best NOT to ask others to repeat themselves, even when I really can't understand them due to accents, background noise, excessively fast speech rates, or multiple conversations within my earshot. I'd rather just have them give up than keep repeating the exact same words at louder volumes which are often accompanied by angrier tones.

My avoidance of noisy environments helps me cope with my poverty being on SSI and unemployed. All the noisy places that most people find fun are expensive and I don't need the money to patronize them. But I also suspect it's convincing everyone around me that I'm very boring to relate to in any way.

I insist on volunteering and/or making money doing something that does NOT require interaction with the public, and it's like ALL the available volunteer and paying jobs right now involve dealing with the public and little else. I'll never last in those kind of jobs due to people not catching what I say the first time, and the angry customers as well. Their anger transfers straight to me then I'm mad as hell and just have to run before I make a scene or provoke an assailant.

20 years ago when I was still a little boy I thought all communication had to involve all this repeating which makes it painful and uncomfortable for me. Then I became aware I was going to school with mainstreamed Deaf kids and decided to learn sign language to connect with them. Nowadays I live in an area that has stronger opposition to sign language than where I grew up, and have become fully well aware I can NEVER expect anyone around me to know sign language or learn it just to improve communication with me. When I got to use sign language from 1997 - 2010, every signer with whom I communicated caught everything I said the first time. I demand that non-signers also catch what I say the first time, cuz my doctor always does and so do any social service providers who meet with me in offices. If they can, so can anyone! I just know the acoustic nature of non-signers' communication limits the places where communication is easy as I demand that it be.



helioneironaut
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13 Nov 2013, 1:03 am

People ask me to repeat myself because I speak too quietly, but they also often ask me to repeat myself because I speak like I'm writing, so to speak--I use more unusual vocabulary and more complex grammatical structures than do the people around me. This happened more when I was younger.

More often these days, though, I have to ask other people to repeat themselves multiple times. Even when they're speaking at a reasonable volume and I'm paying as much attention to them as I can, sometimes it's like I just can't process what they're saying as words. The more stressed I am, the worse it is sometimes. I've also noticed that if I'm watching TV and a fan is on, it's much harder for me to catch what is being said even if it's at a reasonable volume.



Mackica
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13 Nov 2013, 5:21 pm

Once in a while.My social skills are SO much better and so is my voice volume.I have an Aspie friend who I can barely hear,his voice is so low.I always say "I'm having a hard time hearing you" but he never seems to get it.



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13 Nov 2013, 6:42 pm

Celoneth wrote:
I'm always repeating myself, it's very annoying - I think I either talk too quietly or at the wrong moments or everyone around me is distracted - I wait until it's my turn to speak but I still get it.

Either I'm too quiet or I'm being too loud. It's really annoying and generally contributes to why I don't talk at all if I can help it.

I have a similar problem of not waving at neighbors I know at the right time -- so either I look like I'm ignoring them (because they will look at me when I've already given up waiting for them to look up), or else I feel like they're ignoring me which makes me not try to be friendly anymore. I just can't get that 'proper window of time' to acknowledge the other person. So it's like an antisocial cycle I guess.


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banana247
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13 Nov 2013, 8:49 pm

helioneironaut wrote:
More often these days, though, I have to ask other people to repeat themselves multiple times. Even when they're speaking at a reasonable volume and I'm paying as much attention to them as I can, sometimes it's like I just can't process what they're saying as words. The more stressed I am, the worse it is sometimes.


I have this problem! I find that many times, I get into conversations with friends at gatherings or the like; Even if the conversations interest me and even if I do have constructive questions or information to add, I can't track with what everyone is saying quick enough to add my input at the appropriate time. I need extra time to "decode" people's words and by the time I sort out what has been said and what I want to say, I am already way behind in the conversation and it is too late to add my input anyway. Ugh.

helioneironaut wrote:
I've also noticed that if I'm watching TV and a fan is on, it's much harder for me to catch what is being said even if it's at a reasonable volume.


I also relate to this... I always think that the volume is not loud enough but it seems that no matter how loud I turn the volume, I still have trouble tracking with what is being said and I get lost very easily. I usually have to watch with subtitles.



ridethespectrum
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16 Nov 2013, 5:25 pm

helioneironaut wrote:
More often these days, though, I have to ask other people to repeat themselves multiple times. Even when they're speaking at a reasonable volume and I'm paying as much attention to them as I can, sometimes it's like I just can't process what they're saying as words. The more stressed I am, the worse it is sometimes. I've also noticed that if I'm watching TV and a fan is on, it's much harder for me to catch what is being said even if it's at a reasonable volume.


Holy crap I thought I was alone on this!! I have the same problem except with me it sounds like I have two conch shells over my ears. During TV shows I sometimes miss key plots or dialogue because of this. I noticed when I decided to watch an episode of The Wire after watching the entire series and it was like I was watching added scenes but to my realization, that wasn't included in the box set. (lol)

I'm in the military and currently working amongst infantry guys so 80% of them have some kind of hearing deficiency because either they all think they're too cool to be wearing their friggin ear pro during live fire training or have been in several firefights before so I am constantly repeating myself when engaging in conversation. I also have a deep voice so it is harder to make the adjustment between low and high volumes of speech. That and my damn Jersey accent doesn't make it any better. Errr....