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turkey87953
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26 Sep 2010, 2:16 am

Do you get wierd when other people are in your house?
I hate when people are at my house even if i know them i don;t like it at all.
Is anyone else like this?



markitzero
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26 Sep 2010, 2:25 am

sort of with people I am more iffy with different people that come to visit were I live if I fell a bad or creepy vibe from them or something.


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squonk
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26 Sep 2010, 3:08 am

I choose to live alone and really like it.



xemmaliex
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26 Sep 2010, 3:52 am

Apart from the strange aliens that claim to be my family?
Yes.
I hardly ever invite my friend to my house, and if they drop by unexpectedly, I get quite annoyed. I hate people going through my things, opening drawers and looking in my notebooks- NO ONE WILL LOOK IN MY NOTEBOOKS IF THEY KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM. But it's even worse if they don't say anything at all! Then I'd have to supply all the conversation.


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CockneyRebel
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26 Sep 2010, 5:28 am

I prefer to have my place to myself. I feel strange, with other people in my apartment.


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Gnomon
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26 Sep 2010, 5:55 am

For me, this kind of thing has always been about keeping relationships distinct. If I'm in my "alone" mode and someone drops by, then I feel awkward and exposed, and I want them to leave. But if I'm in my "people" mode, then we can go anywhere and it doesn't matter - my own place is just another place in that mindset. But what I'm not comfortable with is mixing different groups of people I know. As a kid, I hated it when my friends met my parents, when my parents met my teachers, when I was forced to meet friends of my parents, all these confusing interrelationships and not knowing what to do with them.


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greyshark
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26 Sep 2010, 6:29 am

Gnomon wrote:
what I'm not comfortable with is mixing different groups of people I know. As a kid, I hated it when my friends met my parents, when my parents met my teachers, when I was forced to meet friends of my parents, all these confusing interrelationships and not knowing what to do with them.


I can relate to this. I felt uncomfortable when my friends met my parents. Or when my friends from one place would meet friends from another place.

To my parents I would be annoyed, silent and angry. It'd be my way of coping with them and limiting their help, enabling me to learn to be more independent. To my friends I would be a lot more social. I'd be embarrassed whenever my parents saw me in a social setting and found out to their delight that I'm not completely devoid of joy. Or a person I would normally be very social with would be confused if I was behaving sullen and silent when my parents were around.

If people I knew were to collate their evidence they would find that I have seemingly have multiple personalities, which in reality are just different niche personas employed to get on with different groups of people.



Gnomon
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26 Sep 2010, 7:25 am

greyshark wrote:
If people I knew were to collate their evidence they would find that I have seemingly have multiple personalities, which in reality are just different niche personas employed to get on with different groups of people.


Yes! This is exactly my experience. People don't get it that my personality is HUGE, and that what they ever see is just a tiny fragment of a much larger domain - parts of myself specifically selected BY THEM and by their own nature. This makes real connection of any kind extraordinarily difficult.


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Autumnsteps
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26 Sep 2010, 9:30 am

Other than a few family members and my children's friends no one comes to my house and I like it that way. It's my space and it feels intruded otherwise and I feel redistricted and like I can't do anything and am being watched all the time. I have no idea what to talk about or do, I'm a useless host so it's just rubbish all round



Philologos
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26 Sep 2010, 10:17 am

As a child, if visitors entered the house I hid out as long as I could.

For years lived nextdoor my motherinlaw. Part of the family. If she came into our house or I went into hers natural behavior was not available.

Since #1 son moved out, his coming in the house shifts the balance.

A real outsider in the house for three hours means a day of getting back in order.



IdahoRose
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26 Sep 2010, 11:00 am

Yes. I hate it when other people are over at my house, especially when it's people I don't like. It makes me so angry! I always hide in my room or go outside to run when they are over.



turborocker5000
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26 Sep 2010, 11:28 am

In my house it's me and my husband. I do get really anxious when other people come into our house, even if it's friends. It's like my personal space.. I don't like it being invaded so to say.



pumibel
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26 Sep 2010, 11:33 am

xemmaliex wrote:
Apart from the strange aliens that claim to be my family?
Yes.
I hardly ever invite my friend to my house, and if they drop by unexpectedly, I get quite annoyed. I hate people going through my things, opening drawers and looking in my notebooks- NO ONE WILL LOOK IN MY NOTEBOOKS IF THEY KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR THEM. But it's even worse if they don't say anything at all! Then I'd have to supply all the conversation.


Who the hell does that?! !! That is really intrusive and rude to go into someones things- if they ask first you should just tell them no. You can say it nicely- "I'd rather you didn't" or something like that. I have NEVER felt compelled to go through my friends' drawers or look in their notebooks. I was taught to respect people's privacy.

And yes, I don't like visitors much. I am a bit of a hermit. I do try to be a good hostess if it is a person I like though.



Asp-Z
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26 Sep 2010, 12:12 pm

Depends who it is. I dread it whenever my brother brings his friends over though. They're stupid and immature, and one of them called me a ret*d so I had to beat him up.



Last edited by Asp-Z on 26 Sep 2010, 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

black_swan100
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26 Sep 2010, 12:33 pm

Definately. It was far worse when we lived in a small flat and there was no-where for me to go if people I didn't really know came round (my partners friends and family).
It puts me really on edge if anyone is in "my" space, either people I don't know that well or people that I wasn't expecting to see. Luckily the people I know and care about most understand that I don't deal too well with things not being pre-arranged...
Thankfully now we're in a house we have a lot more space, so if my partners family/friends drop in unexpectedly I can make my excuses and go to my sewing room and either read or do something constructive which tends to calm me down.



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26 Sep 2010, 12:35 pm

most ppl would make me feel threatened but there is an odd select few who i don't sense danger around....


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