Our Own Individual Personal Philosophy of Autism

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I have created this thread so that we can better understand each other here at the WrongPlanet. I wish to state one important rule, please do not criticize the philosophies that we as members of the WrongPlanet state here. Please respect them and realize they are just that---individual philosophies. The philosophy need not be overly detailed. It is just a general statement(s) about how we feel about our life with Asperger's/autism.

The Philosophy of Glider18:

Asperger's/autism is a difference that has the potential to give us many gifts if we accept them, nurture them, and utilize them. I choose to focus my attention on the positives that Asperger's has given to me and to pay less attention to its challenges. No one, NT or autistic, is given a perfect hand of cards in which to play the game of life. I will use my good cards, not my bad cards, to play this game. I do not want cured of my autism because autism to me is a difference, not a disease, not a defect, not a disorder. However, I respect the views of others in regard to autism because no two people are alike, and how I feel about my life may not be how others feel about their lives. My journey has just begun.

Last edited by glider18 on 03 Oct 2010, 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Autism/AS is a different way of thought and therefore a different way of being that is richly intricate, and, at the same time, with a simple view of how others operate; naivety or "social innocence" seems the appropriate term.

I know I am attuned to math/patterns and analytical thinking because of my AS and, therefore, I'd never be without. Same with art/drawing and related visual abilities. Of course, being highly sensory sensitive is hard (!) but I'd not be without, if given the choice.

I know there can a neurological "lag," but at the same time we can zoom ahead in other areas; our development is not quite comparable to our NT counterparts.

I'm sure we'd each have different ideas about what our Autism/AS means, and that's why I love your thread, glider18! Good idea. Your signature line is the best - - and, at the same time, your journey will never end, if you know what I mean. (Plus to enjoy the scenery along the way)

Being different without an obvious outer appearance of difference, causes mainstream culture to be unforgiving of aspergers. If we looked different, like say Down Syndrome, life would be easier as mainstream culture would make allowances for our manner. They think we are like them because we look normal, and cant understand whats different about us

Eventually this will change, as aspieness is on the increase. We have to wait for the world to catch up with us, or actively promote ourselves in this time.

Rather than cringe and squirm like the pavlovs dog many apies and nt's are brainwashed to accept as 'normal'.

Last edited by Surfman on 03 Oct 2010, 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's a way of being. An operating system, if you will; others may say it's a missing piece of software, or a bug in a program, but I say it's an operating system. It does not run Windows programs, so stop trying to teach me to run them. Alas, it is a disadvantage when no one develops software for your operating system, but that doesn't mean your computer broken, or that you have a disorder characterized by an inability to run certain programs.

I don't want to be NT any more than I want my PC to be a Mac. On the other hand, that doesn't mean I'm better than NTs, any more than I would automatically say that a PC is better than a Mac. It's what I happen to have.

There's nothing wrong with having AS or autism. We just march to the beat of a different drummer.

I like this.

But this potential, I think is really something hard to find. I have a few outstanding qualities that I consider a gift and I am proud of them, they make me feel positively different. And I consider that these gifts are a direct consequence of Asperger.
But how did I come to acquire these gifts, is a lifetime story. I had some opportunities, some deceptions. Some people I met awaken a faint perception, some other blinded it. Some situations made me understand, what I had always missed before.

So, it is not as simple as summoning a quality we dream of, and all works flawlessly:

- I suppose everybody reading this already tried, alone, to convince, motivate, mimic a behavior or a speech, that had to be repeated later. And that failed as if the two moments for you, were involving two different version of you. And it seems so hard to bend the one you that goes in the battle

- I could point you to hundreds of "how to shine in public" manuals. Culture, rethorics, expression, art, music, dance... whatever, these are useful tools to have in some specific cases, but it is extremely rare for these to become the drive of someone's life.

Qualities have to emerged, be realized, and be sharpened, I do perfectly agree. The problem is the emerging part (as strict definition of emergence). And we often go directly to the sharpening step, and this is not working well. It is chaos theory. I think those who have Asperger and can cope with it must realize that some others might not have experienced some critical steps. So glider18, if you drop your philosophy that way you will for sure hit a hard wall here.

The one thing I can do is to give a few advices from what I thing was significant for me to have the gifts I have today:

- Can't speak, fine, don't, just listen
- Can't be the leader of the pack, fine, stay in the middle and help these who are behind
- Can't convince yourself, cool, question everything
- Can't make a decision, no problem, give the time to the decision to come to you
- Fear to say something stupid, Do say it, just make sure it is stupid enough to make people laugh
- Not at ease when in public, fair, dress and behave the way that will make you invisible
- Bullied, ignore and ignore again
- Meaningless, cruel, ugly world, everybody thinks so, so you might be in the right place after all
- Seen/experienced a good thing, think of it more
- Crappy memory, fine, summarize in one sentence
- Everything is odd to you, perfect, be curious start to make some theories, future might have some answers

You will start to gain some trust in yourself, you will be standing on steady ground and things will develop by themselves.
I realized that a quality is not a qualitative factor, it is a quantitative factor, if everybody was considered an angel, being a robber would be a quality

A happy Aspie is not an NT.

I try to be open-handed, and truthful, and to do only little harm.

SuperApsie---I'm not sure how to take your post. My mind is on other things this morning---I apologize. I am trying to find your philosophy in it, but it seems to be referencing my philosophy of gifts. Help me understand what you are saying about a philosophy statement(s).

I suppose SuperAspie can speak for himself, but it seems to be a how-to manual for life.

Hi glider18, sorry to have taken so long to respond.

I put down my ideas as they came. So obviously it is not clear at all and to worsen everything, I know I am an Aspie since less than two months so things are still fuzzy in my mind.

For 35 years I lived a stealth life. During all that time I experimented and built some mechanisms that could reconcile me with the rest of the world and one of the first observation was: I can't get rid of my flaws. I lived an exiting life, I overcame my weaknesses, exceed my own expectations and the ones of the people I met, of course I felt pain and had a few falls during my journey, but my scars healed and I carry them proudly as they would be some hard-earned medals.
So in term of your philosophy, I think we do agree on this point

Not so long ago I discovered that I was not the only one, and I was amazed that so many different symptoms could be summarized by Asperger. I came to this forum expecting to meet people who were dealing with Asperger the same way I was and even better, I thought I would find some people who could give me some practical advices.

But I discovered in horror how in fact people feel stuck in dead ends, I felt how desperate they are. I feel the pain they felt, and worse I realize they can't figure out how to deal with some problems.

I realize now how lucky I was, because from the start I considered "What is wrong with the world?" instead of "What the hell is wrong with me?" and that prevented me to become insane and to focus on solving targeted distinct problems. The more I read the forum, the more I realized how the manifestations of Asperger are closely related with a lifetime experience (what I threw down anarchically in my post) and how every single outcome is realized, rationalized and optimized (or not at all!) how every articulation we build will count for the next event. This is pure chaos theory.

So when I read your comment I was angry.



First, I understood and felt why you put this, people who are stuck in pain saw you as a bully who told them "it's not that bad pal". You were confronting your (relatively) positive experience of Asperger with their miserable experience of Asperger. Things are not that simple. Here is where I disagree with you: experience do alter perception

Because you use only your own experience and forget about how the experiences of others can be so different and how much every single difference has a dramatic importance (I of course don't think that the clashes you experimented here were not intentional)

A philosophy HAS to be criticized, it has to be worked in deep, it has to be sharpened and if it can make people think, discover new points of views and help in everyday life it becomes a solid philosophy and not only an inflated point of view.

And I think everybody is here to find some answers. You are right on the idea, your philosophy is obviously the good one to me (it's the story of my life!), but you have to work on it and I will be glad to help

Today, I still think fighting Asperger is doing the wrong fight and that the problem is dealing the world. In my previous comment I told (erratically) that trying to fight directly Asperger with dull methods and "How to become the leader of the pack" manuals might give some clues but will never ultimately solve everything.

You say:


Amen

We need to explain in deep every single step, how to feel it without only giving a direct tip for a given situation. Things have to be experimented by the Aspie to lead him or her in the right direction.

I am angry because you are right and you just didn't deliver your message correctly and I suspect your defensive posture came just because you had responded roughly in the past without realizing it.

It is just a label. It is not who you are or what you are to become. It opens up doors to sources of information for self discovery and adapting to a world that perceives the world different than I do.

From an absolute relativistic point of view, yes.

Nevertheless, zooming in, Asperger has some very strong and strange common symptoms, so much that they become important pivots in our lives. If we, as a group sharing these common traits, can turn this into knowledge, or more humbly, into the right questions that will lead our lives, it will be always better than trying to guess alone by ourselves.

I changed the title of the thread to perhaps better reflect the intention of this thread as a way to share our own personal outlooks on autism. It's our guide-statements to how we live day to day with autism on a personal individualized way.

I could have written this, as I feel exactly the way you do, SuperApsie.

My own personal philosophy is that life is a gift. We all have unique challenges, wherever it is we are along whichever spectrum we define. We also have unique strengths. Finding those strengths and putting them to use is easier for some than others, but finding them is absolutely crucial for fostering the growth of one's spirit. The good news is that life has a tendency to work itself out, given enough time. Sometimes it's impossible to see in the short term, but it's been my experience that many things happen for a reason.

I know that I have a disgustingly positive attitude and that I probably sound insincere to many, but that's who I am. I assure you I'm not exaggerating. It pains me to see how many people here are suffering so deeply, and I wish I could help more than I actually can.