overstimulated by happiness?
Whenever we talk about the things that overstimulate us, we talk about physical stimuli like light and noise and odor and texture, etc. But what about stimuli/activities that we enjoy? Maybe even our obsessions themselves?
For example, my biggest, life-long obsession has been comparative religion. I'm a shameless book collector and a pattern finder and there are just endless patterns and parallels to draw between various philosophies and belief systems (that we're supposed to believe are fundamentally different) and I just can't get enough of it. The trouble is, if I read something new (to me) or think of something that creates a new connection, I get all excited! Then I end up with all the symptoms I'd experience say, in a crowded mall being crushed by noise and light and chaos... It's like experiencing fight-or-flight in response to something I love! And it's plain annoying, because right when I come upon something really interesting, exactly what I was looking for in the first place, I have to stop and find a way to calm myself.
Since I haven't read anything like this yet, I'm wondering - is it so unusual? Have you ever felt overwhelmed by exactly the thing you want to focus on?
Thanks
Yes, I've had the experience of being so happy I felt like I was going to throw up. My stomach hurt and I felt an excess of energy that I couldn't do anything with, so I paced around the house for about an hour. I actually felt better after I calmed down than I did when I was "happy".
Totally. I complain that I never get excited about anything, but when I do get excited, I find it hard to handle. I can't exactly describe how it makes me uncomfortable, but it does. Guess I can't win.
(I love studying religion too... My religion-major friends called me the "religion groupie" )
An excess of energy you can't do anything with - that's a perfect description for the feeling.
Thanks for the replies, ladies. I'm still surprised it's only us if my post was read 79 times! Now if only we had a solution. I've been considering going back to school - to study something I love this time, rather than something I 'have to' - but I'm not sure I'd survive it! By the way pineapple (love your screen name), it's nice to meet another religion groupie.
Just an aside... I had to laugh at my pattern-seeking reflex this morning when I read your replies. Our number of posts (until I leave this one) equal 7/6/5... It's silly, but where else on earth could I point this out?!
ratlady - 16 posts (1+6)=7
anandamide - 222 (2+2+2)=6
pineapple - 23 (2+3)=5
me too. I always sort of understood anxiety caused by change in routine and having to be around people, etc. but the hyper feeling when I'm happy (had a recent spell with it when I got an iPod as a gift) makes me just want to go off into a dark cave for awhile to settle down. Such a strange feeling
I don't believe that I truly understand the true nature of happiness, at least not in a way that an NT would. I surely can get excited, especially when related to my special interests, but my emotional state is inherently in a state of tension. I'm way too hypersensitive, I think, or at least that's what I've been told, like I'm alert to all the reactions around me. I take in like everything, process everything, constantly in deep thought ... It's sort of good to be like that at times, but it can be annoying at times. I tend to hear things most people aren't even aware of. I also tend to remember things in conversations that most people forgot long ago, given it had some specific meaning to me for whatever reason. I'm so aware of when I see someone being mistreated by another in a way that an NT would not even recognize. I have a memory for stuff like this. It's wonder I can be happy at all!
- Ray M -
Well, good to know I'm not the only one that feels that way. Sometimes I do wonder if I'd even want to be happy, because this "tension" is the only thing motivating me to make any changes in my life. I definitely have NT friends who, even though they seem like they could easily be happy, find things to stress them out and make them unhappy again. Maybe that's just the fate of anyone who thinks too much... *ponders*