What did you want to be as a kid

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^^^fair enough. "there but for the grace of god go I." I realize that if I had a few ergs less energy and a few less-well functioning neurons, i'd be the one living under that bridge- that is, if I was still alive. so many things could have gone wrong...
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yeah there are a lot of things that could've gone wrong, that would've made me in much worse situations later. for example, plenty of things could've made me homeless. thus far i ain't homeless. however the $$ will run out sooner or later.

on the other hand, things could've gone better. but even if they were better, then what?

whooptie do

I wanted to be a police officer, because I'd be allowed to own handcuffs, and I'd get to lock people in the jail.

I was a very strange child.... I was fascinated with handcuffs, manacles, etc also I was usually trying to build prisons to lock my classmates in, I rigged up a decent looking jailhouse out of cots once. I only imprisoned 2 or 3 people during the lunch break. I never did become a police officer, and I stopped trying to build prisons by the time I reached secondary school.

I did have a go at constructing an improvised electric chair, but just to look at; it had no current.

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police officer. when i was 24, took the written test for police officer. briefly considered it.

but police officer seriously sounds like a bad choice for autistics. police officers have to deal with a lot of suspected criminals. police officers have to handle life/death situations. police officers have to make fast decisions. police officers have to be better at driving, than someone that is not a police officer.

Yeah, it would have been a disastrous career choice for me. I had a girlfriend who was on the force, and from all the things she told me, the job would have been far too stressful. For one thing you have to actually know every relevent law, and when I'm tired or stressed out I'm just not capable of retaining that sort of information, plus you need really good people skills too.

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it does not sound, to me, like it would be that difficult to "know every relevent law." police officers do not have to go to Law School or pass the Bar Exam. besides, there are only certain laws that police officers enforce. things like white collar crime, police officers do not enforce. likewise, police officers often go in multiples of two. so, a lot of the times the police officers do not just have to rely on themselves. mostly police officers have to know laws about driving, alcohol. physical assault. rape. shoplifting.

but police offers have to know how to deal with a wide range of personalities. they have to anticipate and correctly respond to someone else's actions and statements. and a disproportionate number of people they interacted with, are suspected of committing felonies and misdemeanors. some of them are mentally ill. bipolar, schizophrenic, multiple personality disorder. some are on drugs. some are drunk.

on the other hand, though. granted police officer sounds like a really bad job for autistics.

but, with the exception of software engineer and accountant and Grave Digger , it just does not seem like there are that many jobs suitable for autistics.

yeah especially for someone with my job skills. or lack thereof. quite frankly i ain't got no job skills. (rolls eyes).

BA Cognitive Science

AA Accounting

autistic

what do i have the job skills to do, that every other monkey also does not know how to do?

answer: nothing

as usual i was stupid, naive and wrong. and i feel so ashamed.

should've majored in STEM at State.

or. community college. only. no Bachelors.

trade school

tech school

carpenter, electrician, construction worker

so as usual. totally paranoid that i will never get a job again

An astronaut who was going to punch a hole straight through the moon, I only needed a jetpack crammed with vanilla milkshake, a rocket wouldn't have let me achieve my noble mission. I never felt too happy with the idea astronauts needed complex machines to carry them to twinkling dots.

From a very young age, what I wanted to do was live in the woods far away from everyone and write books. Essentially to recreate Walden, even before I read it. I also really liked computers and programmed a chatterbot in middle school, but never really thought about IT careers.

A "psychic" told me I was going to be an architect. I thought I was going to be a translator.

I ended up in special education, but I don't know if it is a good fit. I like helping teens like us, but it's very very stressful and exhausting. I long for the childhood cabin in the woods.

^^^welcome to WP

Who me? Thank you.

^^^prego it's fun here

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exactly. when it turned out the psychic was wrong, you did not get a refund.

when i was sixteen, a school psychologist had the nerve to tell me that "if you work hard, you can be whatever you wanna be when you grow up!".

and that sounded rehearsed. like she said it many times before.

maybe it was part of her job description to enthusiastically recite that statement.

and of course i have never seen her job description, so it's like i have to give her the benefit of a doubt.

but, the benefit of a doubt can and should only go so far.

it's like when i interact with someone on duty, the professional hides behind an entire company. or an entire profession.

while when i am at work, and interacting with someone, it's like customer service.

seriously precious lil "people" treat me like i ain't got no rights nor emotions.

some precious lil "people" treat their dogs better than they treat me.

a former precious lil "friend" had the nerve to tell me "sit on this chair, and she probably won't bite you.".

("she" was the dog, that was not even hers.)

the precious lil "friend" acted like the dog had a moral right to bite me, and she did not care if the dog bit me.

"she really likes being off leash". even though Leash Law applied.

how about I really "like" not getting bitten?

huh?

I wanted to be a veterinarian ever since I knew there was such a thing, because I love animals and want to help them. However once I got to college, I realized that for several reasons, it wasn't the best choice for me. The first problem would be getting into the vet med program in the first place, since I didn't have anything going for me except my love of animals, which everyone who applied would claim. I've always had a slight tremor, but it got worse at some point during college, to the point where my hands certainly shouldn't be trusted in the insides of any living thing. I would not handle people who don't respect their pets well, and I would be just as distraught as the owners when I couldn't help an animal. On top of all that, I learned that I have a severe phobia of parasites, which I would be dealing with on a regular basis.
As it stands, I'm a part-time janitor at a retail store. Goodness knows I never wanted that job when I was little (or even now, really, but it's better than nothing, which is my alternative at this point).

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"people who don't respect their pets"? "respect" is a vague word. the dictionary definition does not give sufficient examples.

a couple weeks ago, an off leash dog came out of a woman's house. the dog (looked like the dog was) physically attacking someone else's smaller, leashed dog. the woman struck the dog, once, with a stick. the dog went back into the house.

some precious lil "people" would call that animal cruelty or abuse . and then at least once someone yelled at a dog.

having said that, almost everyone else said "she's so cute. she won't bite". and then they have the nerve to tell me their precious lil dog is "friendly." "friendly." too vague. friendly, at what time, to whom, under what standard?

plenty of owners dress their dogs up in clothes. plenty of owners let their dogs off leash. plenty of owners let their dogs lunge at and bark at anyone.

almost every dog owner that i have ever encountered, acted like their dog was more important than people. it was like their dogs had rights and emotions and i had none.

a former precious lil "friend" had the nerve to tell me "sit on this chair, and she probably won't bite you."

"probably won't." yeah that's right. correct.

the precious lil "friend" acted like the dog (that wasn't even hers) had a moral right to bite me.

could go on and on.

Einstein said there was, in his opinion, no practical limit to human stupidity.

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but there is an impractical limit?

hmmmm, with his singular mind departed from us, the world may never know.