artist defeated

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I'm a very good pencil artist (I use technical pencils) and I decided to try something new because I started to get an idea for a graphic novel. I started a character concept that was far off from what I usually draw. I have a tendency to draw scary beast like creatures, but this time I was drawing something new. Basically it was a feral human female animal creature... and it turned out awesome. Problem is that since I've never drawn anything like her before... I have no idea how to re-create her image. I've tried figuring out her facial proportions and every time I re-tried drawing her... she just comes out awfully wrong. This issue of not being able to re-draw her has made me avoid drawing all together. I just don't get it... I can reproduce many other ideas... why is she so hard to remake? Anyway every time I think of drawing I feel like I'm going to fail now. I've never felt defeated before but I guess there's a first time for everything. I know I could draw different characters or other things but for some reason I'm obsessing on the idea that I can't redraw her... It's driving me nuts. Has anybody here had similar negative experiences? Any advice?

I understand what you mean. I'm an artist myself and I sometimes am afraid that what talent I have will suddenly evaporate. Don't despair, art is an organic, never constant process that takes vigilance. You can achieve what your after, with practice. Sometimes it helps me if I set the problem down, work on something else and then return.

Actually, I think this type of thing is common for all types of artists. I know writers often write a great first book, then freeze because they're afraid they can't do as well the next time. And if they do write a second, and the critics say it isn't as good as the first, that usually pretty much destroys them.

I've found myself blocked because I didn't think what I was writing was as good as what I'd already written, or because I couldn't pick up an unfinished work in the right tone and style. Which I think is similar to your situation. Writer's block, for any reason, is terrible. I assume "artist's block" (is there such a term?) is the same.

The answer? Keep working at whatever you can, as much as you can. Practice, practice, practice. (They say ten thousand hours of practice is what it takes to become good at anything - although I suspect the actual amount of practice varies depending on what's being learned and the individual.) Start with stuff that's simple enough you can handle it, to rebuild your confidence a bit. Every time you get something right, you'll grow a bit more confident. And, if you could draw this character once, sooner or later you'll develop the skill to draw her reliably.

I understand that's what you're obsessed with, but these are all necessary steps in developing the skill you need to satisfy that obsession. So I hope that will give you enough motivation to let you get back into your groove.

And good luck!

This is similar to some of my wife's issues - she has done a lot in various areas.

Pattern 1: Does work in Style A Medium A and then HAS to move to Style B and/or Medium B

Pattern 2: Makes it, then hates it and despises her talentless self - a year later she may look again and think it not bad.

Pattern 3: Does A, tries to reproduce it but [partly because of Pattern 1] cannot and goes into self loath.

Pattern 4: New technique, great enthusiasm; gradually falls toward self loath.

She is very good - it is all attitude.

This may be the same stumbling block that I ( and id venture to say all artists have) when it comes to drawing portraits of real people.

You always unconsciously draw yourself.

I had the devil of a time with the initial sketch on canvas of a painted portrait of a friend.
I even had her snapshot in front of me.

I kept having to redo the whole thing.

Then I remember what a Black coworker had oberved years before. He noticed that despite being White I had "small ears like a black person, instead of large ears like a white person."

That was it. I was making my friend's ears too small. When I made them bigger everything fell into place and had a great painting.

Creativity isn't easy. During the same work of art, be it drawing, writing, painting, or anything of that nature, it is not easy to continue producing strong creative ideas, and not easy to produce them to the quality the artist would like; however, it is always possible, and it will happen if you keep trying.

Even for creative people, creativity is a challenge - I'm struggling on a poem... struggling to come out with ideas that rival the first part of the poem, so I've been putting it off a bit, but I've planned as well... sort of not cleverly written ideas, but it's for the imagination.

Could you draw her simply for planning, and perhaps that will inspire creativity to draw the real work of art that you want, if this makes sense?

My wife says -

you are setting up a block.

Let it go, move on. MAKE yourself do other things.

Sometimes you need to sneak up on things.

She may even come back.

I use a lot of tracing paper cause I love an expression or pose and don't want to lose it but even after I scan it I find that the proportion is off somewhere. Nothing is set in stone. When I get discouraged or blocked I go do something else like clean the house or play on the keyboard. I then come back to it in a few hours. I put on isolating headphones or you could play music or a movie in the background so it does not seem like work. I have a character I have worked on for years and yet have times when things don't come together like "WTF" is wrong with me. The things I really hate is when I am working on something I can't even see the skill in it until I look at it the next day.

Of course [getting philosophical, feel free to ignore it] the greatest creativity is nonce. One of my few artistic endeavors - many years ago I just happened to doodle a curve that was perfect for a whale shaped beanbag for my baby brother. Could not have reproduced itr for love nor money.

In my own stuff, some of my most creative solutions I have not the FOGGIEST idea why it works or how I found it.

Tracing paper is a great thing. I learned methods from a teacher a few years ago that helped me more than a lot of the art classes I took before. You draw what you want to draw, then tape it to a board, put a piece of tracing paper over it and tape the top of that only. Then you start refining the original drawing, re-drawing it and making changes. If you're not sure what's wrong, you could try several different things without having to commit to one idea or ruining the drawing paper. Once you get it the way you want it, you rub the back of the tracing paper all over with pencil or whatever works with the medium you mean to use and then trace it onto the paper you want, and do your drawing there.