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but i love him.

At the beginning of this thread I was asking myself, "what could she possibly have said?" Yup, that would pretty much do it.


I bet you'd do the same. I would.


Maybe not.


I know you didn't. And more importantly, he knows you didn't.


Right.


~Whatever~ What matters right now is that you get your boyfriend back. First, find a way to get in *written* contact with him: e-mail, text, snail mail. (He does not want to hear your voice. You've said enough, so don't leave him messages.) Second, offer him the sincerest apology he's ever heard, let alone received. It doesn't need to be long and flowery and cast you as a martyr. And no excuses. If you come within a thousand miles of suggesting that he is even the tiniest bit at fault, here, you will *infuriate* him. The really simple but profound stuff you've said over the course of your last couple of posts will do absolutely fine.

Like this: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. In fact, I know that your mother would be so, so proud of you. I was angry. And what I learned here is that there are some things that you just don't say, no matter how angry you are. I get that now in a way I didn't understand before. You're the best and most caring and understanding guy I've ever met. Ever. And I want the chance to make this up to you. I want you to take me back."

If I got a straightforward, NO EXCUSES e-mail (or whatever) like that, I would take you back. No guarantees, but I think it will work, and I know it's your only shot.

I will write. It's a good idea. Thank you.

OP, it seems like you've identified a pattern of negative behavior here. So since there's a pattern, and its having a destructive impact on your relationship/life, I'm suggesting its time to do something about the cause of the behavior. Talk to your therapist about how to improve your coping skills, how to communicate more effectively with your partner when you feel you're about to lose it, how to deal with vulnerability without pushing those close to you away, etc.

If you really want him to give you another chance, I think your best chance of doing that is to come up with a plan to fix the problem. It will show that you acknowledge your responsibility, and that you have the maturity to do what it takes to improve your behavior - so you won't put him through this again. Good luck.

I think he has reason to be upset, BUT I have also said horrible things to and about people I love when I am upset or angry. The most you can do is prove you're sorry.

I hope it works out because I would hate to see you in an abusive relationship in future. You've had your fair share of that, and you looked really happy.

I can't judge on whether it was OTT or not, I don't know what he did.

I think he just needs time. I'm sure you guys love each other very much. I also don't think he had bad intentions when he saw you looking at yourself in the mirror, he probably just didn't know what to do because you were feeling so sad at that moment.

Here's a quick story, maybe it will give you some hope. I had a boyfriend and we were very much in love. We always thought we'd be together. As time went on though, when we would fight over huge things, I would say all of these terrible things to him, almost as if a demon went inside me and destroyed my heart and mind. I knew I had to leave the relationship for his sake and try to better myself and learn how to control my temper. It hurt so insanely bad to be away from him, and he was hurt too, so much that he didn't even want to talk to me. So months and months, and months and more months pass by without us talking or barely talking. I wanted to be his friend, I knew it would only be selfish on my part to be more (even though he is and was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with). I knew I would do so much to make him happy and be good GF but my temper wasn't totally under control yet. After lots of time we tried to fix the relationship and everything that we had. We were doing really good. But guess what I did? Couldn't control my temper during the last fights and we fought bad and I called him crap like loser and leech etc. I never mean these things, and I'm sure you didn't mean what you said either.

Anyways, moral of the story is that if you guys love and care for each other, just try to leave when you're angry it's hard if all you've been around in your life is people with bad tempers, but next time just leave or literally shut yourself up somehow. I hope your boyfriend will come back if he sees that you're trying extremely hard to change your ways when you're angry. I also think that so soon after the fight, it might not be such a good idea to overload on apologies. They won't help him forgive you and he probably doesn't believe that you're sorry yet. These things take time

He came home this morning because he had to get his things ready for work and he told me we'd talk tonight because he loves me very much.

I knew the two of you will work things out. Good luck.

Thanks for all the replies last night, you really all helped to calm me down.

No problem dear. *huuuuuuuuuuug* I'm sure you two will work it out. ^_^

*huuugshuuugs* for you too. :3
he already called me today :love:

Yaaay hugs! I'm still a bit sick so you may not wanna hug too close. (I couldn't find an emoticon that could pass for being sick so this is the best I could do).

Awwww, see? You really are a lucky gal.

I am a very lucky girl.
i'm very lucky he didn't dump me on the spot.
horrible, vile thing to say.

and get well soon!!

so glad it worked out!

Yes you are. Hopefully you can figure out some way to keep yourself more stable or to let him know when you're about to snap so he could go to another room until you calm down. I dunno. At least the crisis is averted for now.

Thanks. I'm not 100% recovered yet but I feel a lot better than I did last night. Hooray for 10 hours of sleep and downing two bottles of orange juice.

yummy: orange juice.