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bjcirceleb
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30 Dec 2010, 9:30 pm

Not sitting still for a haircut. I mean can someone tell me of any "normal" kid that does that?? Not sitting still in a restaurant?? Can someone tell me of any "normal" kid that does that?? A child not picking up unwanted items in the grocery store, demanding ice cream, etc. I thought that was why we now have parent friendly check out lines ( we do in Australia with no lollies and the like in them so parents are not hounded by kids!!). The fact is what they are wanting are things that "normal" children do not do. Kids do not sit still, they do not want to eat in restaurants and wait for hours while adults talk, they do not want to go grocery shopping while you decide to buy things they do not want. What do they actually think children are?? This is the thing that amazes me the most about these parents, that what they are asking for is something parents do not get.

I will admit that most children will grow out of those things, will tolerate them better than many people on the spectrum do and the like, but to say that a child is a robot that will behave like an adult version of normal is simply niave!! !! Children are children, they throw temper tantrums and the like. Sure those with very low functioning autism do not tend to grow of it as easily, etc, but all children do these things and MANY of these parents are complaining when the child is 2 or 3 and that is classic toddler temper tantrum period in the lives of all children.

Many children who are deaf do not talk. Sure I can talk, but I prefer not to. I know of one family who did have a supposedly profoundly autistic child, who could not talk or communicate, etc. They went to the best therapists, etc and nothing much changed. They started to use picture cards and the child would flap them, feel them and suck on them. It was as an absolute last resort before packing the kid off to the states care for life, that they sought the advice of a person with autism. This person looked at the child, and said they are extremely sensory and need to feel everything, try the hand on hand signing that they use for deaf blind people, it will allow the child to communicate in a way that is meaningful for them. The parents took the advice and it worked. The child's frustration was simply from a lack of communication and once she was offered a way to communicate that worked for her things settled, her real intelligence came through, they learnt to deal with her issues, etc. She is now supported at a mainstream school in a mainstream class and on grade level!! ! This person simply did not want to communicate the way the rest of the world does and I don't blame her. I personally write whenever I can. Email is my preferred method of communication. Listen to what the child is really saying and many of the issues will be solveable. Above all have age appropraite expectations of the child's behaviour and you will be amazed at what can be expected.

Respite care was invented so that parents can have a break from caring for such needs children, but for that to happne they have to have the child with someone who may accept the child as they are and not have the need to fix them!! !



kate123A
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02 Jan 2011, 1:01 pm

what I'd like to know is why they don't have pictures of a large insurance company, a school and teachers........that's where the biggest pain comes from for me..........in having a child on the spectrum.



nostromo
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03 Jan 2011, 5:35 am

frag wrote:
Same message over and over. They didn't sign up for these kids, they signed up for normal kids.

Woman says the kid is happy but she wants him to have normal stuff a family and children. She decides what should make him happy. Repulsive.

Also I wonder what kind of world NT's want to have. Can't they see how non natural it is? The meaning of life is going to a supermarket and sit in a restaurant. If you can't do those simple things you are a lost cause. Eh, why don't we revolt against this stupid world? Getting food from a store is not normal. Sitting in a funky position and do things in a stereotypical restricted way isn't normal. Normal is growing your own food, go fishing, eat around your fire. So there.

And it's terrible how the mom says there is almost no one in her kid. They accuse us for not having a theory of mind, but where is theirs?

Stupid arses.

Speaking as an NT parent of a NV little Autie..I have to say very well put frag.
Although I do have sympathy for the emotions the parents are feeling, they do need some serious putting straight.



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03 Jan 2011, 8:21 am

Those parents better get over their pain. How about the pain of the children who know that they will never be accepted by their parents. How about the pain of an autistic child who eventually stops talking to their parents about their special interests and the parents don't hear about their special interests ever again, because they talk about the things that the parents want to hear about, out of a sense of duty to the NT world? That's real pain.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Jan 2011, 8:26 am

I also don't waist my time watching videos like this, anymore. I know that they're just going to make me angry and rebellious for the rest of the day.


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theWanderer
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03 Jan 2011, 1:20 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I also don't waist my time watching videos like this, anymore. I know that they're just going to make me angry and rebellious for the rest of the day.


You're wiser than I am. I know I'll get upset by such videos, but I feel that I have to know what's going on, in order to oppose it most effectively. So I get upset, and I never manage to do anything to stop it all, anyway... I know all this, but I can't seem to learn. I just wish things like this would wither away, so it wasn't an issue. But since they don't seem inclined to cooperate, thanks for the reminder.


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KatTheStrong
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24 Jan 2013, 11:48 pm

Pain of the parents? Seriously? How about the pain of the child? Sometimes I'm frustrated with other neurotypicals.



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26 Jan 2013, 7:10 pm

AsIndsigt wrote:
of course there will be such a genocide.

its happening right now to people with downs syndrome. live births are down 90% rest killed off.

no one cares. apparently


I do care. I feel that every baby that's conceived should be brought into this world. That includes babies with Down Syndrome and autism. All babies are precious, every child is a gift from God and every life is worth living.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSciUplVZrA[/youtube]


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27 Jan 2013, 3:32 am

I found the way that the movie was edited together disgusting, while I feel sorry for the parents. I think that it was moraly wrong to make the film.

Magneto wrote:
There will be no genocide of Auties, even a quiet, nay, 'accidental' genocide. Do not fear.

If they try crap like that, the world will soon know. It's time we fightback using their toolkit. Attack ads? Check. Organizations that wield large funding, this time aiming to make things better for autistic people rather than searching for a way to cure them? Check. Celebrity endorsements? Well... if you can find any. 8)

It's time we go on the offsensive, rather than staying on the defensive.


I would like to know what target you are thinking of, I always had the JRC in the US as my number one target. I had gathered some matter which could have been a right royal pain for them. But then before I could release it the US criminal legal system did something about Matthew L. Israel.


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27 Jan 2013, 4:56 pm

The pain of parents? I'm sick of hearing about it. What about the pain of autistic people, that is worsened by this sort of thing? Oh yeah, we're like objects, not people - as that one lady describes her son.

Infuriating.

EDIT: I see CockneyRebel said the same. It's obvious to us, so how do these "empathic" NTs fail to see how insensitive this kind of ad is?



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27 Jan 2013, 10:05 pm

Here's a different take on that video and I'm not gonna lie...the first two minutes made me LMAO. I mean wow, they don't believe in sublety when it comes to the "horrors" of autism, do they?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNgvbewnkS4[/youtube]



BuyerBeware
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29 Jan 2013, 4:54 pm

What a bunch of ignoramuses. Those parents obviously need a lot, a lot, a lot of education.

And not the crap education I got looking for help in idiotic backwaters back in the dark ages of 2010, either.

Honestly, I hope it's a boarding school. Because, the best thing that could happen to a kid-- any kid-- with parents with self-absorbed, defeatist, stupid attitudes like that would be to grow up in some alternative environment with people who at least want to understand them-- even if their whole purpose for understanding is to "fix" the child.

I, too, think it is past time for us to start making our own tearjerking YouTube videos.

Talk about some of the stuff we've been through.

I won't show my face or my kids' faces on the Internet. I don't want people coming after us. I'd like them to have some life in this community. But I'd be happy to do a five-minute voice-over if someone wants to patch together some appropriate stock images.


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Tokiodarling21
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31 Jan 2013, 1:37 am

BroncosRtheBest wrote:
You know what I noticed in this video? Take, for example, the black woman. "I can't do what I want to do or live how I want to live because I have to stay home and take care of this child." That's generally the tone of the other parents as well; it's nothing but pure selfishness.

Exactly! When parents talk about what's "best" for their child who is in the Spectrum, it's never ABOUT the said child because the child gets no say in what he or she wants to see happen or in some cases is unable to vocalize what they want to see happen for themselves so parents often have to go with what THEY want for these children. It's sad b/c we know that the lives most of these children will lead are the result of not being given an opportunity to advocate for themselves OR being unable to advocate for themselves due to lack of communication skills which with the right tools and connections could have been easily accessed. The lives these kids will lead are simply not THEIR lives but the lives cooked up by their parents and society who have basically given up on them.
There used to be a program here in my hometown that I was a part of before it closed its doors due to lack of funding. It helped young Adults in the transition process learn basic skills like cooking for yourself and cleaning up after yourself, taking care of laundry and handling your money, getting to work on time, etc.
When this program was about to close, I took to my email and sent an email to the school district superintendent at the time.
I can't remember exactly what he wrote in response but I said in my email that this program would benefit students in the future years and dropping it would mean many students who come into this transition program long after I've left could easily forget what skills they learn (the program was only 3 years long)
Parents need to realize that THEY brought these children, these individuals into this messed up world. We didn't ask to come here nor did we ask to live with autism, but I believe I have mine for a reason. And until I find out what that reason is, I'm not gonna shut up. :x


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Quazar
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03 Feb 2013, 4:12 am

the part that really bugs is when one of the parents says "she almost like an object at home rather than another person" I know shes upset but still, that's a pretty mean thing to say


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03 Feb 2013, 9:01 pm

kate123A wrote:
well they missed the worst pain of all.......

The PAIN of dealing with all the people you have to deal with. I would happily sit home with my kid(he has to function better and I know they'll help him so I do it) but I get to go to IEP meetings that last 5 solid hours(the pain of holding it for 5 hours and not eating when your blood sugar is dropping) The pain of dealing with people you'd rather never meet and the pain of listening to insurance company agents..........and their crummy hold music
Suprisingly one of the proudest moments of my dad's life was at one of my IEP meetings. So I don't think they are universally painful but 5 hours sounds really long.



LauraL
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03 Feb 2013, 9:13 pm

I am sure my mom would never want me to be NT.