Advice for playdate plan?

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As I mentioned before, I'm seriously considering having some little boys my son's age over to my home for a playdate. However, I've never done this sort of thing for his NT sisters and I really don't know how to go about doing something for him. I honestly want to see if I'm imagining things or not as far as his social skills. I want to be absolutely sure for my own self and for specific questions asked for the upcoming evaluation.

If I was to go through with this, what types of activities would be best to determine/measure social skills (for a layperson that is)? I'm totally clueless about what types of things boys his age (almost 5) would like to do in a home environment.

I think it's going to depend a lot on what your son is like. My son does struggle socially, but really enjoys having kids over. I have found, however, that a smaller playgroup is best. I would start withmaybe even a one on one playdate first... but definitely no more than two other kids. And I would have some easy games that they could play with or without some of your facilitation. "pop up pirate" is a favorite at our house, and his NT friends really enjoy that game too. Other games that are easy for them to play would be "Don't Break the Ice" and "Hungry Hungry Hippos" He's about 4.5yrs old and we have playdates with boys between 3 and 6 years old. Honestly, at that age, kids are just excited to play with new toys. So, if it were me, I'd sort of get some of the most fun toys out and see how they go just naturally on their own. Our geotrax train usually keeps them all occupied as well as musical instruments like our little drum kit and a microphone. If I saw that it seemed awkward or like they weren't both having fun, then I'd bust out a game. Then, have a snack to give them... and if you get desperate, a short video. I usually only get the videos out on a playdate if it's a really long one (Like more than 2 hours) or if I just see that the kids aren't getting along very well and they need a break.

I think a lot depends on what in particular your son struggles with. My son does not know how to really engage in reciprocal play sometimes and will just sort of follow the other kids around doing what they're doing. That's usually fine until "the game" switches and he doesn't get the memo. Then, other kids get annoyed. That's usually only an issue with 2 or more other kids. THe other thing that happens is that he'll get overstimulated and start getting rough with other kids or start just making kind of obnoxious noises that people don't like... so, I've figured out that I need to give him a little break with a snack or video when I see it heading that direction.

I hope that helps!! We've had a lot of playdates for him, so some of it took trial and error... and things have changed over time as he matures and we understand what he likes/can handle.

I don't have much advice as my son doesn't really like to play with toys. This makes it pretty difficult to have a playdate. But, we did recently have a one on one playdate. I like that recommendation. One or two children to begin with. Very small so that your son does not get overwhelmed.

I think that my advise for you is different than if you were asking how to have a successful playdate. I think your goal is to evaluate your child's social skills with same age peers, correct?

If that is the case, invite two kids over, make sure there are lots of toy & game choices then observe how and what they do. Watch how the other children interact and watch how your child engages (or not). If the other two play together and your child is always on the outside, that's important. Watch their conversation skills. How are they all talking with one another? Give them a ball and suggest that they go play outside - watch how they group up, or not. Watch their skill levels at whatever they end up playing. It would be good to play Simon Says - watch to see how your child compares.

Have this last 1 to 1.5 hours. It may be long for your child but for an NT kid it would be fine. So - if yours starts having trouble, that's important.