People who use AS as an excuse for being jerks.

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I know many of us with AS have inadvertently offended people before, or have wrongfully been called insensitive, selfish, or inconsiderate because of a misunderstanding. Most of these situations usually occur because someone with AS has not figured out that NT's do not accept constant honesty, even though they preach it, or because one with AS did not realize the nature or depth of the situation, or because they misread a person, and so on.

In either case, the wronging was usually unintentional and if you are a person with AS who truly only has good intentions, the fallout from this can be quite devastating, and you most likely try very hard to prevent such things.

However there appears to be some individuals, some who actually have AS and others who likely don't, who use AS as a license to be rude, inconsiderate, and so on. Some of these people are individuals who were diagnosed as children, and their parents let them get away with too much. Others are adults who don't believe they should go out of their way to put effort into relationships, or really just don't care about the effect of their actions on others.

Either way, these individuals invalidate those of us who do have AS and really do make the effort in our life to be considerate of others. These individuals go around treating people horribly and then try to justify it by telling people they have AS.

Having AS is NO justification for being a jerk. If one has AS and knows it, one has a very big responsibility to be vigilant of their actions and what they say so as to not be inconsiderate or rude to others.

I don't believe people who use AS as a license to be a jerk should be tolerate. They make life much more difficult for the rest of us.

Why?

If someone meets an Aspie who happens to be a jerk and he decides that all Aspies are jerks because of that one Aspie he knows, that person clearly has his own problems and nothing the other Aspies do will change his mind.

I'm okay with that. You should be, too.

Because we are civilized human beings and part of getting along in the world is in not being inconsiderate and rude.

Wait, you missed the second half of my post.

The issue is not that the person is a jerk, but that the person uses AS as an excuse for being a jerk. There is a wide-held misconception that those with AS lack empathy and while some might, most don't, and people who think they can be jerks just because they have AS just make the problem worse.

Yes, it's wrong to use AS as an excuse to be a jerk, but your concern seems to revolve around how the action of the few will affect the general public's view of people with AS in general--you included.

At the end of the day, people will think what they want to think. You'll be a lot happier if you'd just be yourself and stop caring what people think.

The actions of a few are very loud, potent actions.

After all, was it the entire nation of Israel who called for the death of Jesus? No, of course not. Yet 2,000 years later jews still have to deal with the fallout from that.

Why everybody wants to prove he or she is right: you don't like a post, don't respond to it, or at least don't insist

wait... whatever

Sadly, when the average person thinks about AS or autism, they think Rain Man unless they are well-versed on the subject or have a friend or relative that is HFA or are a teacher and so on.

On a local sports forum I go on, they had a video of some white trash hick guy talking trash, and everyone was making fun of him, then someone said "In all seriousness, we shouldn't laugh, he probably has Asperger's Syndrome."

Of course, I let him have it lol, said that first, it's Aspergers Syndrome, and that's not how anyone with autism acts and told him to leave his prejudice and ignorance at the door.

+1.

I'm too busy to care overmuch what others think about me. I also have a buzzcut and tattoos and people certainly have plenty of erroneous ideas about me based on my "unconventional appearance." Oh well.

I'll care what they think when they start paying my bills for me.

Unfortunately many with AS have difficulty finding employment when they disclose because employers often have misconceptions.

Unfortunately, that's par for the course. If an employer won't hire an Aspie because he gets the impression that all Aspies have tattoos based on what I look like, does that mean I should get my ink removed?

Either the employer will choose to educate himself, or he won't. Worrying over how other Aspies conduct themselves doesn't help, especially since most people won't even change their opinions when faced with cold, hard facts.

You can theoretically get your ink removed. You cannot remove AS.

I think the "people using autism as an excuse to be a jerk" line is actually an excuse for other people to be jerks to autistic people. And they justify it by citing "people using autism as an excuse to be jerks".

Or in the longer form, this post:

http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=520

(Sorry to just point at my old post but I don't want to have to go through my entire argument over again.)

That wasn't the question I asked. Should I alter my behavior/appearance for no other reason than somewhere, someone might infer that my behavior/appearance is representative of AS? And just how much of my appearance and behavior should I be expected to alter for the sake of the flimsy possibility of making a random Aspie's life slightly easier?

Besides, what you're ultimately talking about is the propensity of others to make snap judgements based on poor information. Good luck correcting that human flaw. In the meantime, I feel no obligation to walk on eggshells, especially since people are going to think whatever they want to anyway.

I have yet to see someone using autism as an excuse to be a jerk. But I can not say for certain because the dictionary I just looked up defines jerk as "A dull stupid fatuous person", while contrarily I think in this context it's meaning is someone who is mean or some such.

My next question is why would anyone want to be a jerk? but I would need a better definition before I can figure this out. Being a jerk would be a negative thing and I don't think there are many benefits to being so.