People who use AS as an excuse for being jerks.

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I have yet to see someone using autism as an excuse to be a jerk. But I can not say for certain because the dictionary I just looked up defines jerk as "A dull stupid fatuous person", while contrarily I think in this context it's meaning is someone who is mean or some such.

My next question is why would anyone want to be a jerk? but I would need a better definition before I can figure this out. Being a jerk would be a negative thing and I don't think there are many benefits to being so.

Great article!

I don't think your appearance analogy is really applicable to the situation. However concerning behavior, if you do not want to alter rude behavior, that is your choice, but if you blame it on AS, you ultimately cause harm to others with AS.



There is a difference between walking on eggshells and making an effort to not be rude or inconsiderate and so on. People generally base what they think on experiences they have had, or information they have heard from others.

It is if we're discussing the generalizations people make based on superficial information. People can have negative impressions of me on account of my tattoos based on the behavior of others with tattoos. That isn't mitigated by the fact I could have them removed.



Which opens a huge can of worms as to what is considered "rude" and to whom.



Not very much of one. People have a very wide range of opinions on what is "rude." My tattoos are quite "rude" to some people. Others may not like the fact I'm pro-gay marriage, or I'm an atheist, or I wipe my mouth with my sleeve, ect. All things that are blatantly obnoxious to someone. There's too much subjectivity for me to spend my limited mental reserves trying to figure it out, or calculate how my lifestyle will make other Aspies "look" to NTs. I hardly have a decent idea of how I look to NTs let alone all other ASers.

I've never intentionally been a jerk, unless I'm tired and my meds aren't working. I'm slightly ODD. Sometimes I get a kick out of being a bit of a bastard.
Sometimes I say things and I'm not sure how they are taken. It's a lot of effort and stress to try to control myself sometimes.
I don't blame my autism, I blame my frontal lobes.

FYI, I know a handful of NT's that are brutally honest... alot.

I was unable to read the article through. It wouldn't load all the way, however in response to...

"I have noticed a trend online, which is for people to say to others, “You are not autistic/AS, you are just using that as an excuse for poor social skills or an excuse to be a jerk.” I have an online friend who frequently gets this reaction, when she says something she considers just direct and someone else finds it insulting and flames her, and she tries to explain, only to get that response. Indeed, things like “Asperger’s is just an excuse to be socially inept” or “people who use Asperger’s as an excuse” have become givens in some parts of the Internet community. It is even accepted (with little to no apparent evidence) by some autistic people as fact."

I have been in the situation where I have said something which I thought was the right thing to say because it was honest, and I thought I could not go wrong with being honest because I was always told that lying was wrong. And in this particular situation my honesty caused me to the object of immediate and severe reprimand from multiple individuals. I did not get a chance to explain myself. My intention was not to offend anyone and I felt rather bad that I did offend someone.

But the people I'm speaking of generally don't feel bad if they have upset another person by being rude or inconsiderate and so on, and feel they are justified or shouldn't be blamed for being rude, not because they didn't intend to be such, but because they have AS.

I am speaking about individuals who continually act in a way which disregards others, know they do, and feel having AS means that they should not have to have regard for others.

The reason I don't tell people I have AS is BECAUSE I want to take responsibility for my actions. Using your dx as an excuse doesn't change the content of what you're saying and if it does, they may as well stamp a "void" on your forehead because they won't respect anything else you have to say either.

There are actually ways to be honest yet tactful. My brother is NT and used to be brutally honest when no one asked him to be to begin with. He was cured of that when a much bigger guy slugged him in the face. He's quite polite now but he still manages to be honest.

I would like an ANSWER as to why I malfunction sometimes.

I don't give a stool if peple think I do it on purpose
after I told them I dont, if they won't listen then they
can just go eat their boogers.

I don't NEED an "excuse", I have valid REASONS for
why I react to some things the way I do, Because
I Was Made That Way.

If someone dont like how I react to their stooly
comments, or actions, then screw it, I don't know what to
do about it and until someone can teach me
how (terrorism and threats won't help, they
just set me off and make me scream and
throw things).

That is how I react, autistic or not.

FullStopPeriod End of Story
if society dont like it, they
can go eat a big poop

Do you apologize and tell them you didn't mean to be rude or offend them in some way, and that they misunderstood your intentions? And do you try to learn from the situation such that you reduce the likelihood of repeating it?

Yes. Exactly what I told them, that its not
what I was trying to do.

They just dont want to listen to me, they
keep making up things to confuse me,
then throwing it twisted at me and
then expecting more from me (or
something different) than I can "handle",
I dont always see something wrong with how I
handle things, it is just the way I
handle them. I can see if it is an illegal
act, which I try not to do. I don't
want to break the laws.

I don't need an excuse, but I would like
an answer to why I malfunction, it would
he;p me repair the malfunctions.

I don't expect everyone to like me, that is
not possible, in fact it is not possible but
a few peple to like me because of how I am.

I know I am not mature, or very growed up,
so I don't expect that from anyone, I try
to be kind, but if someone is mean in return
I have a reaction, and they are often "shocked"
that is just the wayu I am
made, poop happens and it is not intended to
harm, it just happens, drop a glass jar from
17 feet onto concrete and what else can one
expect to happen to the glass jar?

I don't communicate for poop, so I don't expect
very many to understand me.

I just try to stay out of the way, I just try to leave
everyone be, to go in peace, it usually works, I just
seem to have these "unacceptable" reactions if
someone breaks that barrier (often but not
always meaning to interfere)
then they get all "shocked" if I have a reaction.

It is very few who can tell me how in a way I can
understand, how to fix the malfunctions, it does
help if they speak in computer/technical ways,
I understand that way the best, but they dont
have to, it will just help the message get thru
better sometimes.

Why they will also "bark up the wrong tree" about things
I have NO control over is beyuond me tho,
but that is another story all together.

Hi,
I think that AS has not to be used as an "excuse" but AS is an explanation...

I have no idea what you are talking about Chronos...

How is it possible to know if someone is being intentionally or unintentionally being a jerk in the 1st place if they have autism?
What happens if someone knows that they are autistic and are inadvertanly rude to someone and they are told by the offended person that they should have known better because they know that they have autism. Also I am unaware of any autistic person being a jerk and blaming their autism. I don't think this is common.

Chronos, you should ask a black person in LA whether or not he's making an effort to not be rude and whether or not that changes others' perspective about him. In some cases, if he's been good he'll be told, "Hey, you're not like the other black guys [I never try to get to know about]." If he's been bad, he'll be told, "You're just like the other black guys [I barely know but pretend to be well-acquainted with]."

If people want to base their opinion about a group of people they feel you belong to on the little information that they know, it's their problem, not yours.