Page 2 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,141

29 Nov 2010, 7:54 am

Dunno. I don't feel particularly dependent on NTs to do stuff for me simply on the grounds that I have AS. I don't know any NTs that I've reliably diagnosed. I guess I'm as independent as anybody else under the system we have.

I've heard it said that an Aspie needs an NT "mentor" to guide them through their life - a partner is apparently ideal for this role if they can cope with our shortcomings. I've never felt the need for such a mentor, and it's unlikely that I'd feel able to put that much trust in any individual. A relationship, to me, is abusive if one partner is leading the other too much. Bits of advice about the NT world, fine. Mentoring, no thanks.

I wouldn't throw in my lot with any hierarchy, AS or NT. The nearest thing you'll get to obedience and deference from me is an acceptance that some group or other has, for the time being, got me over a barrel. There's nothing inside me that feels they have any right to tell me what to do, and should the time ever come when I have the power to shake off their yoke, I will do so.

Don't know whether a group of Aspies could self-manage with any success. Seems to me that a group of people with poor social imagination are going to have a lot of trouble rubbing along together....the individuals would probably do a lot of things without considering the others' feelings properly, and the others might not find it easy to explain why that behaviour was wrong. Aspies can be hurtful and insulting without ever meaning to......I was playing a guitar part to a tune for a couple of musicians recently, and the most Aspie one turned round and said "can you play something a bit more interesting?" He's been known to piss folks off like that before. Naturally I make allowances for his condition (even though he doesn't think he has a condition), but I'd much prefer it if he'd just think a little about his comments and break these things to me a bit more gently.

Aspies frequently have a lot of trouble working together.....I myself find it scary and invasive for other people to have any great involvement with anything I'm trying to do.

3 out of 4 members of our music club seem to have a lot of Aspie traits, and the one who doesn't hardly ever gets to the meetings as he lives too far away. We seem to get by, but our meetings are all over the place......nothing gets discussed properly, people are flying off at tangents, talking past the point, failing to take in what's been said......we're surviving, but if we ever had anything difficult to do, I doubt we would achieve it collectively. We'd have to just hope that one of us took the whole task on board and got it right.