My parents are people that generally have a negative outlook on life, they are prone to depression, they always think negatively etc...
My mom is a very weak person, she cries easily, she's very easily manipulated, she let's everyone use her in every way, she's very emotional and doesn't think logically. She had a very bad childhood and an alcoholic father, her mother was also a very negative person. On top of all that she got together with a guy that is an alcoholic(my father), how sad can it get?
My father is just really pathetic, he's so weak, I suspect he has also had a very bad childhood, he's been depressed most of his life and he has also been an alcoholic most of the time, he f****d up really bad in his life. He doesn't bathe, he doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't do crap around the house, my mom has to do everything, if something needs to be fixed she has to do it, seeing as he can't drive she has to drive him everywhere, she does all the chores, she has to take care of everything. On top of that he still gives her crap most of the times as if he's better than her, he's so egoistical.
I guess he wanted to have a baby but he was already 46 when he got me, he was chain smoking like crazy(he pretty much smoked all his life), he was drinking like crazy, I mean how bad could his sperm have been, why would you want a baby if you're doing **** like that, how can you not understand that? When I was born or maybe before it he started putting tons of money on my account because he knew that he might not be able to raise me because of the fact he might die soon from all the **** he did in his life or that he would get severely depressed, I mean who the **** makes a baby with no expectation to raise it?
Well seeing as he didn't die and is still alive I guess he had a good body, anyway while raising me he was nice to me but instead of doing it the correct way and teaching me things he just bought me toys and gave me money. He's supposed to be a role-model to me but how can I look up to him if he **** everything up? He's basically a women in a man's body, he's supposed to be the strong one but he doesn't do crap, how can I look up to that? I guess my mother tried to raise me better but she was also way to gentle and was afraid of pushing me away. She was also stopped in her tracks because of my dad that didn't want anything to do with anything modern, he's just a farmer living like it was 1950. They can't even raise the friggin dog, it's like the dog is the boss at home, the only one it listens to is me.
I've explained them how to raise it but they just don't get it, it's like they keep making the same mistakes over and over again in their life, they just won't change. Everything is made up in their minds they don't listen to anyone anymore.
I know that they want the best for me and they've always been nice to me, it's not like they were aggressive or anything. I try to be as nice as possible but when I think about all the **** they pulled it's just to hard. Even though my relationship with my mother can still be fixed in a way she just doesn't listen to me. I'm not even trying to be nice to my dad anymore, he's just a waste of time, he lived his life and ****** it up. I'm just having very conflicted feelings. I'm not even sure if I'm being egoistical or if I'm right. I mean I understand they probably had a really bad life but that's no reason to **** it up for me.
What do you guys think of that?
20 Dec 2010, 3:38 pm
