Have I found THE ONE?

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My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, living together for ten months. I had known him for two years before we ever got together.
He is the first person I have ever been totally honest with about having Asperger's Syndrome, from the very beginning. He professed early on in our dating that he wanted to make a concerted effort to "understand me". I told him that no one ever has, and that it was hopeless. Over a year later, I wonder if he may actually accomplish his goal.

He deals with me better than anyone ever has, bar none. He loves that I come off bossy and domineering. He adores that I am smarter than him(even though he has a Mensa-qualifying IQ!) and can listen to me rant about my special interests indefinitely. He loves to do small tasks for me that I am perfectly capable of performing myself. He known not to touch me when I'm having a meltdown, and helps me with my clothes when I'm utterly dyspraxic. He never takes my frustration-tantrums personally. He loves it when we repeat, "I like you" back and forth like complete morons. He loves my arrogance, impatience, and that fact that I do not suffer fools.

It helps that he's very intelligent, can discourse on myriad subjects, and is an eccentric, nocturnal hermit. I find him very good looking, and he is the first man I have met that can keep up with me sexually. We both love cats to an extreme degree. He is the first person I have met with as intense a passion for books and "shellfoods" as I do. He and I like to go to the same places. He was willing to watch most of the 12 season of Law and Order SVU I have been working my way through on NetFlix the last two months. He helps me through difficult and overwhelming situations. I help him remember to do chores and pay the bills.

Where I am strict and regimented, he is chaotic. But we both respect the other's methods. Although he is a hermit, he likes to be extroverted and social under circumstances of his own choosing. The same can be said of me. I do not think he is an Aspie, just eccentric.

My few concerns about the relationship include that he tends to be repressive of his feelings, and has a hard time carrying his end of the conversation sometimes. I don't want our relationship to be "The Malisha Show". I also worry that he works a job that pays extremely well (he owns his own home at 27!), but is far below his mental capabilities, and requires unbelievably long hours six days a week. My other concern is that creativity is an important thing to me, and while he has expressed a lot of interest in being a writer, he doesn't have much time for it because of his work. I will become bored with a stagnant partner.

I spent a huge portion of my life (11 years) with an abusive ex-husband. I dated for a while after I left him, and none of them were that great, although one or two were extremely exciting. There's difference between someone who has short-term appeal, and someone you can LIVE with. I am starting to think he's really the one, but I'm a little gun-shy because of past experiences.

I kinda want to marry him i think.

I dunno if he's the one, but you're really lucky to have found him.

Were hoping for you. Possible future congrats High Five?

I'm young and probably not as experienced in relationships as you, but it sounds like a promising one to me The only think you expressed concern about is his job, but from what I read it seems that he is satisfied with it. And if he's only 27, the likelihood of him staying at the same job forever is low. It sounds like he understands you, likes you a lot, and you get on well, which are the important things. I would only be seriously concerned about repressing his feelings if he's bottling his feelings up and lashing out at you, etc.

Just take your time with him, and marry him when and if it feels right.

I wouldn't expect him to entertain you; you'll get bored just because you live every day together and run out of new things to talk about. If you're feeling bored schedule some 'YOU' time together and do something new. That works even if he has a busy job/etc. Support is a two way street. The fact that he supports and tolerates your special interests and lets you be you is pretty important. I've been married for 10 years (together for 17) and STILL battle with our differences due to Aspergers at times.

It sounds like you're well suited for each other to me. You should know though that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship has it's ups and downs; it just comes from living together and knowing everything about someone I think.
Good luck - follow your heart!
JD

Sometimes it takes a while to find out if they're the one, it isn't something you can know instantly.

Aw he sounds perfect.

We all have our flaws, there's no such thing as "the one". However, he does seem right for you. So if you do end up marrying him, I think you'll be fine.

i do have a rather romantic view on love.
if a person isn't what i think is 'the one' at the time - i don't see the point in being with them.
but i know a lot of people think the one is non existant.

I don't buy the whole "the one" idea as in there being one person in the whole world that you should be with. But I think emilion was saying the one person you CHOOSE to be with. As in if she'd been born in Kuala Lumpa she'd probably be with someone other than her current boyfriend and possibly see him as "the one" instead, but in her life as it is, she has found this particular guy and wants to be with him only / sees him as her "one".

obviously I may be wrong about what emilion meant, but that is how I see it myself anyway - I would like to meet a woman I would want to spend th rest of my life with if possible