11 May 2018, 10:45 am
Master Jedi
Yes
Right now
For long amounts of time
Seriously
Gave up going to 
Meetup.com 
about four years ago
Because if someone tells you that he or she is your friend, you do not know how they will respond in a different situation. And sooner or later, different situations come up
Quite frankly I don't have the IQ, EQ, or metabolism to keep up with precious lil "friends".
Playing games
Cost benefit analysis almost never is worth it
There are exceptions, but almost everyone assumes they are an exception and there are not many exceptions
An article said that a man married two women at the same time. Neither woman suspected anything for several years. Until the dry cleaning got messed up. One of the women was a clinical psychologist
So
If someone with as much skill as a psychologist, could get tricked about something as large as marriage, for several years, and a lot of close interaction, then it is much easier for someone to trick me about something.
The flip side of that is like, even if they did not receive me that time, doesn't mean they never will
There is a first time for everything
But even if they never trick me, then what 
Whooptie do fatalist 
The Best case scenario is whooptie do
The worst case scenario is subject to imagination
So
It is not that I do not want friends, but that I am too scared, lazy, apathetic, intimidated to try to make friends
11 May 2018, 1:36 pm
I have friends i dont want to be around some times, and ones i do, and it can switch and i dont really get why. I can go months or years not wanting to speak to some one and avoiding them, to then be fine with it months later.
Friends is a job for me. Too much work. I need solitude, but humans do interest me in theory.
I have a social deficit with them though. I also limit my social media. I live with my parents, so if anything earth-shattering is happening, they show & tell me.
11 May 2018, 8:51 pm
a lot of the time, i want someone to talk to over FaceBook
face to face interaction sometimes serves a function. and i have nothing against building rapport. but, in real time . thoughts, emotions, actions, statements. it's just a bit too much. like juggling bowling balls or something. too much to keep track at the same time.
but anyways yes i do feel left out and lonely.
but whatever.
in the past, almost all precious lil "friends" ended up dumping me. or vice versa. usually they were not worth the energy that they acted like they were worth.
logic versus emotions
emotional rollercoaster
sometimes it's just easier to be left out, than go through precious lil "friend" after precious lil "friend"
16 May 2018, 11:06 am
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