What's on your mind right now?

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is the lower blood count not a problem, then?

borderline, will check again next month. platelets borderline also. they haven't checked for occult bleeding yet. they think my NSAID use might be related.

that could do it.

eye doc told me that it wasn't hurting my retinas, at least not as much as the hypertension and hypercholesterol. she showed me fat deposits in my macula. ugh. I am reminded of the scene in the operating room in 1985 when I was a student watching an AAA being patched up, they had the guy's aorta splayed open, and with an ice-cream scoop type of instrument was scooping out great gobs of plaque, and the surgeon was asked, "what is that?" and without missing a beat he said "oh, only about 5000 big macs."

^ what is an AAA?

the image is horrifying, to me. i hope i never get to that point, though talk is cheap.

Abdominal Aortic Aneurism which is a blow-out in a weak section of aortal wall caused by a terminal cascade of plaque working in a wear-and-tear manner during the regular forces of the heart pumping blood. AKA hardening of the aortic artery. when these things blow out, it is more or less death within seconds as the brain is terminally starved of blood as it fills the abdomen instead. there are occasionally warning signs such as abdominal pain or hoarseness of voice in conjunction with weakness upon exertion, that now and then lead a lucky unlucky person to his cardiologist who does tests and finds the aneurism. it is considered stat surgery, done ASAP before the thing can blow. the patient is put on a heart-lung machine, while the repair takes place.
since you expressed a worry about it, can you tell me if there runs in your family any cardiovascular disease?

Feeling like I don't fit in anywhere. That's not unusual for me. What is unusual is that now, I care. I'm not a social creature like humans are (I have the soul of a dragon - a solitary creature) - why should I care? But it feels like I'm missing out on something by always being an outsider.

how wore out I am from simple [yet still challenging] social exchanges today at the shops.

I really struggle with giving credit where credit is due.

hurting an attractive neighbor woman's feelings in the store today when I tried but failed to place her face when she greeted me. she told me "one of these days, I hope you can remember my name."

Face-blindness. Don't blame yourself, it's our damn wiring. Mine shows up when I'm stressed.

Richard Feynman had it very badly. People he knew, and worked with, would just announce their names to him when they encountered him.

My PMing is disastrous.
They start off ok, but soon devolve into repetitiveness and one word responses and I have no idea how to rescucitate them.

mr. Feynman was fortunate to have understanding friends and coworkers.

Funny thing was, he recognized them instantly by voice. But visual ID was just never going to happen.

faceblind and voicedeaf as well. it takes me nigh-well FOREVER to pair faces and voices with people.

People are arguing with me like I said "DON CHU TAKE AWAY MAH GUUUUNNNNSSS" all because I said we need a more comprehensive solution than just more gun laws, regarding mass shootings. That it's too complex and involved an issue to just think more laws will solve it.

w.t.f.... I said we need a solution, we just need one that's well thought out and will work...