What's on your mind right now?

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October seemed light years away last week, but all of a sudden I'm enrolled officially into my module, in contact with my new tutor and assigned dates for my online tutorials. Now I can think of a billion other things I should be doing, as I have a certain way of organising my studies...
Nonetheless, going part-time instead of full-time I realise is the only way I can continue my education. I've had to accept I'm not like my siblings and can't just steamroll through 3 years at a brick uni. I am more determined than ever to get there - when I'm good and ready.

The event I'm looking forward to later today and tomorrow

i could fall asleep, come back much later just to find myself still there.

what was i thinking of?

i can't remember.


i just stare.

Trying to get to know about more people here on WrongPlanet.

Freezing my credit. Everyone in the US should probably do so. Clark Howard at clark.com has a guide to how to freeze your credit at Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.

The flipping road traffic census, or what ever they call it.

Two days on a run I've been caught in it.

Both times in rush hour on a major thoroughfare.

They gave me a form to fill in and I could win a £50 shopping voucher.

They can f**k off, they're not keeping tabs on my whereabouts.

Boredom doesn't help depression any. It's helpful if I at least have things to distract me. Having a job would at least give me something to do... but I'm still not having any luck finding one.

i could care less about my teeth.

Dragons and demons

The older I get the less excitement I want

What you call boredom, other autistics call obsessive compulsive disorder

What you call excitement other autistics call Adrenal Fatigue



Plenty of jobs are boring.

Especially the jobs that I qualify for

And sometimes the job description makes the job sound not that boring

For example when I worked as a data entry clerk. It was typing letters a to Z and numbers 0 to 9. Forty hour a week. That is much more boring than not having a job



Some jobs sound exciting or interesting. But you get there and it is not that interesting

You can't measure boredom

Getting raped is exciting

Excitement is not inherently good or bad

I think I really am going to go ahead with trying to get the chronic headaches diagnosed as something again. No one was ever able to give me a satisfactory explanation, many CAT scans / MRIs / assorted machines later. I think this much ibuprofen is probably poisonous and I'm sick of living with the kind of pain that even I can feel.

This "Aspies are more highly evolved" crap really annoys me.

Dragons and demons



"Distraction" could be good, bad, or neutral

Many distractions last only a couple seconds

If you use a job as a distraction, sooner or later, something will distract you from the job

Whether i'll die tomorrow or not because of my blasphemous thoughts ( i'll be riding a cable car)

That, no matter what I do, I will never be

Skinny
Smart
Handsome
Cisgender
Functional
Socially adept
Normal
Successful


So why bother trying





That the current counselor, appears, thus far, to me. Awesome. Andd perfect

But I am reluctant to put her on a pedestal or trust her

Because eleven years ago, there was some dude that looked perfect to me. Skinny smart handsome. Cisgender white man. Socially adept. Emotionally resilient. And etcetera

And he turned out homophobic

When he had the nerve to tell me off

When I told him I was trans

In 2006

Homophobic San Diego




But I ain't psychic telepathic or a stalker

So you can't just label someone as a "good person"

Football games tomorrow!