I've been told that I'm unapproachable...

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and scary. But, the funny thing is: I'm the one who is terrified. If I notice a girl I think is attractive notice me, you can bet I'm running. But the girlfriends I've had tell me that I am frightening, that all of their friends thought that I was scary, too. I'm not scary, I'm scared - and scrawny (not scary). I think it may be my facial expressions and/or the fact that I absolutely do not let girls I think are gorgeous know that I think that...I think I actually treat them as if they were ugly. I do it on purpose, because most pretty girls know they are pretty, and I feel like they expect me to think they are, which I don't like...so I act as if I thought they were nothing much, even if inside I'm going crazy for them. I think this may be a problem...

Do I look scary to you?

Also, can a person help being vain? I've been trying...I don't think I've made any progress...

Depends whats going on below your photo. If your starring at the camera with that facial expression and a fully erect penis.....i'm running for the hills

Haha, no - pants are up, zipped and buttoned, I assure you.
So how about now?

IS my expression scary?

Rather than expression of the face it may be the time you spend focused in eye contact. I.e. your overcompensating for poor eye contact by over doing it to the point that it is threatening and/or intimidating.

Thats not going to come across in a still photo.

I think i look more scary personally like I just got off the longboat and murdered an anglo saxon peasent in cold blood.

Scary = doesn't maintain eye contact. Scary = doesn't smile enough. Scary = does not emote properly with facial features. Scary = Me.

I get this all the time as well. Once people get to know me they get over it. I have found many ways to use this to my advantage.

Then I suppose scary = me as well...


Hmmm, like warding off people you DON'T actually want to talk to?
I scare off everyone, whether I want to talk to them or not...I think I have a monoexpression in public (or whatever the proper term would be). Scared eyes and a sneer to cover it up...

Same here except I've been told that my eyes & smile make me look creepy to

there's an interesting wikihow on how to not look creepy:
http://www.wikihow.com/Meet-New-People- ... ing-Creepy

More or less. I am the scary guy in the company where no employee wants to be sent to his office. I am perfectly pleasant, but the middle management knows that the bulk of the staff fear me and can use threats of having to be sent to my office to account for their behavior as a motivating tool

Years ago, when I was young, I ended up going out with a girl for a few weeks I met in a pub I was a regular in.
She told me that her and her friend used to oggle me before we got together.

So I said to her, "why didnt you come and talk to me then?"
She replied, "you looked un-approachable".

I've been told I'm unapproachable (also cold, rude, etc) also, but I'm a girl so it's a little different. People call girls unapproachable that look like they would reject guys, and (usually) people call guys unapproachable that look "creepy" in some way. That's mostly my opinion though, so try not to let it freak you out or anything

You seem to be very, very attractive from what I can see. If you don't show any positive signals to girls and even treat them like they're ugly, I think that's why people think you're unapproachable or "scary." There are girls that are extremely insecure and ones that just don't think they are that attractive (I mean, beauty is subjective) so they might be thinking they're unattractive and you're just being rude to them. I bet you there's been a girl out there that thought you were really attractive but was too unsure of herself to do anything about it and got the wrong signals from you.

MarsCoban,

Dude you are very good looking and I like the black tee shirt.

So you scare girls? That is a good start. They go for "bad boys".
I'll bet Clint Eastwood never had trouble picking up girls.

Perhaps your game needs a bit of fine tuning so go here
http://roissy.wordpress.com/
http://www.rooshv.com/

They are two of the leading "pick up artists" on the internet.

My girl-friends and I go to the first site simply to laugh at and talk about whether the guy is being serious or just a really dedicated troll...MarsCoban, I hope you don't take the advice on that blog seriously. The 7 tips or whatever on the second site aren't terrible, but they aren't particularly good either. The logic behind them isn't very good, IMO.

This. A long expressionless stare from you would scare the crap outta me.

Easy fix, just smile more and try and remember not to stare at anyone for more than 2~3 seconds. If they catch you staring, smile and look away.
You're very good looking, a smile would do wonders.

for what it's worth to you, [at least going by your avatar photo] you are beautiful. but that might be your public face, and when somebody gets too close you morph into beelzebub[humor] and scare the crap outta people. i mention that little facetious aside only because i have the problem of scowling when i am not paying attention. the scowl can put-off people, no matter who does it.



if i looked as good as you do, i'd have a reason to be vain also. if you've got it, flaunt it [within reason].

I've been told the same thing and many of our kind are unapproachable. I think the main thing is we may like people but the way we go about and doing it is completely wrong. If you like someone, how will they know you like them if you are running away from them and avoiding them. If I saw a girl run away from me, you could bet I wouldn't even have a thought that she liked me. Treating people like they are nothing is an even worse way of going about it. You have to show them you have some interest in them. You don't have to act desperate and go right up to them and say you like them(I've done that and that doesn't exactly work either). You just need to acknowledge them at least. You say you've had girlfriends so you at least have some experience anyways.