Page 42 of 44 [ 650 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44  Next

RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,373
Location: Adelaide, Australia

15 Feb 2017, 10:57 pm

Gender wasn't invented by mother nature, it's a social construct /sarcasm :P


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,657
Location: the island of defective toy santas

15 Feb 2017, 11:14 pm

men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. :idea:



Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,306
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

15 Feb 2017, 11:36 pm

auntblabby wrote:
men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. :idea:


True enough, but we still need to qualify that if we want to understand gender. People have a strong tendency to be good parents, and most are reasonably good at it. The abilities of men and women overlap a great deal. Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible.

The mother has a higher biological investment in a child at birth, and bonds with it further during nursing. She is also certain of its parentage, while the father supporting them has been fooled 10% of the time.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,657
Location: the island of defective toy santas

15 Feb 2017, 11:44 pm

Dear_one wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
men can be just as nurturing as women, if they wanna be. :idea:


True enough, but we still need to qualify that if we want to understand gender. People have a strong tendency to be good parents, and most are reasonably good at it. The abilities of men and women overlap a great deal. Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible. The mother has a higher biological investment in a child at birth, and bonds with it further during nursing. She is also certain of its parentage, while the father supporting them has been fooled 10% of the time.

thankfully, just as one has read about animals such as dogs and cats "adopting" orphan pups and kittens, so too are some rare men who will lovingly care for a stranger's child.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,373
Location: Adelaide, Australia

15 Feb 2017, 11:50 pm

Dear_one wrote:
However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it.
I am not hopeless at nurturing. If you don't believe me, ask my cat.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,306
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

16 Feb 2017, 12:04 am

I think that on average, men are willing to adopt, and we accept the odds of being cuckolded.
Let's imagine a young married couple who are keen to start a family, but have had no success for a couple of years. As far as I know, the odds of either one being infertile are about equal. So, what's the wife to do? She wants to know if she's a "real woman" or not, and she wants a child. If she can conceive with another man, and keep quiet about it, that's the best outcome for all concerned. The "father" never doubts himself, and gets to enjoy raising a child while supporting it.

Humans are amazingly consistent about having 10% of children misinformed about the identity of their fathers across myriads of cultural variations. This is the sweet spot on the fidelity charts - The odds of paternity are good enough to keep men involved in support, but there's still enough turnover to keep the gene pool fresh and bubbling. In a successful human society, there are some excellent male citizens who don't make good fathers. These include the wandering traders and troubadours, and also the heroes, who tend to die young while defending their whole family. Any of these can be the "bad boy" in an irresistable romance.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,657
Location: the island of defective toy santas

16 Feb 2017, 1:41 am

I am reminded of this old hank penny song, "white shotguns"-

WHITE SHOTGUNS [hank penny]
well the day that we got married
was in the month of may
we had a big reception,
it was such a happy day
her father was the best man, as i could plainly see
he had a 12 gauge shotgun a'layin' across his knee
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
her pappy was awful happy to have me as a son
an' all the local bachelors was glad that i got stung-
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
the wedding march was playing,
they served ol' mountain dew
her father sat there waitin'
just to see that things went through-
about that time the lights went out,
i said here's my chance-
i had the doorknob in my hand when the buckshot hit my pants
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
her pa was awful happy to have me as a son
an' all the local bachelors, was glad that i got stung-
we had a formal wedding- white shotguns
now we have a family just as nice as could be had
and all the neighbors say their kiddies look just like their dad
i look our 8 kids over, as proud as can be,
'cept when i look closer, i find ONE that looks like me
we had a formal wedding, white shot guns-
her pa was awful proud to have me for a son
and all the local bachelors was glad that i got stung
we had a formal wedding, white shotguns.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,373
Location: Adelaide, Australia

16 Feb 2017, 3:30 am

Dear_one wrote:
I think that on average, men are willing to adopt, and we accept the odds of being cuckolded.
Let's imagine a young married couple who are keen to start a family, but have had no success for a couple of years. As far as I know, the odds of either one being infertile are about equal. So, what's the wife to do? She wants to know if she's a "real woman" or not, and she wants a child. If she can conceive with another man, and keep quiet about it, that's the best outcome for all concerned. The "father" never doubts himself, and gets to enjoy raising a child while supporting it.

Humans are amazingly consistent about having 10% of children misinformed about the identity of their fathers across myriads of cultural variations. This is the sweet spot on the fidelity charts - The odds of paternity are good enough to keep men involved in support, but there's still enough turnover to keep the gene pool fresh and bubbling. In a successful human society, there are some excellent male citizens who don't make good fathers. These include the wandering traders and troubadours, and also the heroes, who tend to die young while defending their whole family. Any of these can be the "bad boy" in an irresistable romance.
That must be why paternity testing is illegal in France.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 66,657
Location: the island of defective toy santas

16 Feb 2017, 4:01 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
I think that on average, men are willing to adopt, and we accept the odds of being cuckolded.
Let's imagine a young married couple who are keen to start a family, but have had no success for a couple of years. As far as I know, the odds of either one being infertile are about equal. So, what's the wife to do? She wants to know if she's a "real woman" or not, and she wants a child. If she can conceive with another man, and keep quiet about it, that's the best outcome for all concerned. The "father" never doubts himself, and gets to enjoy raising a child while supporting it.

Humans are amazingly consistent about having 10% of children misinformed about the identity of their fathers across myriads of cultural variations. This is the sweet spot on the fidelity charts - The odds of paternity are good enough to keep men involved in support, but there's still enough turnover to keep the gene pool fresh and bubbling. In a successful human society, there are some excellent male citizens who don't make good fathers. These include the wandering traders and troubadours, and also the heroes, who tend to die young while defending their whole family. Any of these can be the "bad boy" in an irresistable romance.
That must be why paternity testing is illegal in France.

gee :o that sounds like nationally instituted cuckoldry to me 8O



Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,306
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

16 Feb 2017, 6:00 am

Deep down, women feel that they have a right to lie about paternity, in order to get both the best genes and the best care for their children. Otherwise, we wouldn't see so many getting busted by the results of DNA tests on live TV, and so many courts that won't let a man cease support payments for any children he once accepted as his own.



C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,437

26 Feb 2017, 7:27 am

Quote:
This is a great question, because I feel most neurotypical men are narcissistic sociopaths and the male aspies I met in the past were the polar opposite. What are "normal" men like.

Decent human beings.
Quote:
I suppose i'd feel "manly" if I went out and wrassled a bear.

You should get to feel just as manly kissing a kitten brother. :wink:
Quote:
i dont know what this is meant to be for, but i guess women have this so why cant we? maybe because a men only discussion is mostly considered sexist, but a women only conversation isnt, strange double standard

Eh, I think this is changing though. It went through the kneejerk overkill as it had to, but people seem to be relaxing around this now - there are men's nights or groups for a lot of organizations, just like women's. There's also a lot of "men only" stuff going on in gay male culture no one wants to scream about being sexist. Plus, the women's discussion forum here isn't women only. Anyone can post there - it's just targeted at women's issues, just like the love and dating is targeted at love/dating. I get on my soapbox about this kind of standard though, even though single-sex exclusionary spaces squick me for queer reasons - women can be sexist and misandrist just as men can be sexist and misogynist, people of colour can be racist just like whites. Similarly men can be feminists, and in favour of gender equality. To insist someone can't be supportive of feminism or gender equality and women's rights because he has a penis is the complete antithesis of the whole idea in my view.
Quote:
If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible.

True, but that's more about how culture in general views men, than men themselves. It may also vary via profession - say someone in that crowd is a male firefighter or male paramedic, people may be more likely to hand a potentially injured child to him than a random woman. Unfortunately media also covers a lot more abusers who are male than female, as if female child abusers don't exist. I heard a recent news story about a man working in a childcare place who turned out to be a pedophile and abuser, and much of the concern of the speakers was what effect this would have on decent men who wanted to work with kids - that they didn't all get automatically tarred as abusers just for being men and interested in that field of work. Hopefully people are getting more sane about it as true equality, and not suppression of one gender over another.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


LjSpike
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2016
Age: 17
Gender: Male
Posts: 188
Location: About 55° N, 3° W

28 Mar 2017, 12:15 pm

Dear_one wrote:
Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible.


I think they'd probably just hand it to the crowd in general, and I think it's just the case that more women will go to look after that child for the short period of time before a man because as you said before, they're more emotionally invested at birth and so brought into the reflex of nurturing in that sense a bit more (but then, that's not because of gender directly, but the fact the women gives birth to the child and so forth). I think regardless of whoever is being the hero in that scenario, if they go in for the first person and is the only person to go in, they'd probably go back in for more people (presuming the danger didn't dramatically increase all of a sudden) to get more people.

You have to ask yourself though, how much of these differences due to gender are down to gender itself, or down to society conditioning people based on their gender?


_________________
Why not visit my blog over here!
-------------------
RDOS Aspie Quiz
Neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 162 of 200
Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 52 of 200
LINK: http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly10a.php?p1= ... =66&p10=74
-------------------
Score breakdown for RAADS-R
Total: 185.0 | Language: 17.0 | Social Relatedness: 90.0 | Sensory/Motor 45.0 | Circumscribed Interests: 33.0
LINK: http://www.aspietests.org/raads/questions.php


Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,306
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

28 Mar 2017, 12:29 pm

LjSpike wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
Either sex can fill in as a single parent at need. However, on average, women are more nurturing, and more men are hopeless at it. If you want to observe instinct in action, watch what happens when someone rescues a child from a sinking car or burning house, and wants to go back for more. If they see a group of strangers watching, they will hand the child to a woman, if possible.


I think they'd probably just hand it to the crowd in general, and I think it's just the case that more women will go to look after that child for the short period of time before a man because as you said before, they're more emotionally invested at birth and so brought into the reflex of nurturing in that sense a bit more (but then, that's not because of gender directly, but the fact the women gives birth to the child and so forth). I think regardless of whoever is being the hero in that scenario, if they go in for the first person and is the only person to go in, they'd probably go back in for more people (presuming the danger didn't dramatically increase all of a sudden) to get more people.

You have to ask yourself though, how much of these differences due to gender are down to gender itself, or down to society conditioning people based on their gender?


I have, of course, been pondering Nature vs Nurture for over half a century. I know it is very fashionable to blame gender differences on culture, but they keep morphing, not merging, despite all the agitation. Ever since life discovered gender, every life form has been keen to identify members of their own species, and their gender. All behaviour depends upon both factors. A veneer of civilization can keep the barnyard dance subconscious, but it never stops. Currently, all gender issues are in a state of turmoil due to the Industrial Revolution changing the status and availability of work for women even more than for men. In the chaos, people with gender ambivalence have often been the avant garde, but they can never be the norm.



blacksabat
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 13 Feb 2017
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 6
Location: Malaysia

29 Mar 2017, 7:37 pm

Ahaseurus2000 wrote:
I'm good at listening to women talk about their feelings.



this is a very good sense even we look feminine ,,, even our act or anything look feminine. So we can grab all the girl around the world to have a chit chat and know them a lot..... :wink:



Lace-Bane
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,415
Location: Ontario, California

30 Mar 2017, 3:36 pm

Dear_one wrote:
I have, of course, been pondering Nature vs Nurture for over half a century. I know it is very fashionable to blame gender differences on culture, but they keep morphing, not merging, despite all the agitation. Ever since life discovered gender, every life form has been keen to identify members of their own species, and their gender. All behaviour depends upon both factors. A veneer of civilization can keep the barnyard dance subconscious, but it never stops. Currently, all gender issues are in a state of turmoil due to the Industrial Revolution changing the status and availability of work for women even more than for men. In the chaos, people with gender ambivalence have often been the avant garde, but they can never be the norm.
unlike other species, humans are something of a fluke in their rise to the top of the kingdom. if it were not for human intelligence, humanity would have become extinct long ago. any the strongest of men would be at a loss to a lioness if tossed naked into a deep pit with her without a tool to defend himself. so a man’s strength, is moot, unlike say that of a bear, when distinguishing the capabilities of the sexes considering the brain is the most important component to survival(man's brain is not innately stronger than a woman's, and vice versa). as such, there is nothing man can do with the freedoms of today in modern america, that woman cannot beyond performing male organ exclusive bodily functions if she is so determined. this is ideal... wouldn’t want a beloved daughter to feel hopelessly disadvantaged for not being born male if her interests are more in line with what is traditionally a male dominant field of interest even if she has to put in extra effort to physically keep up.

as for gender, the sex of woman and man are rather clearly defined, but gender itself is largely a social construct... any man can choose to cultivate the qualities they deem the best of the female gender, and any woman, the qualities they deem best of the male gender. the only thing that might dissuade them from doing so is the pressure of society to not shake the norm.

as for getting a rush of morale boosting heated blood flow , and feeling like it’d be possible to move a mountain, there’s not a whole lot more that’s been found in this life to be as exhilarating as practicing wing chun, taijiquan, japanese swordsmanship, or drawing freeform inspiration from bruce lee’s jeet kune do.