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Dear_one
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01 Apr 2017, 2:42 am

Lace-Bane wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
I have, of course, been pondering Nature vs Nurture for over half a century. I know it is very fashionable to blame gender differences on culture, but they keep morphing, not merging, despite all the agitation. Ever since life discovered gender, every life form has been keen to identify members of their own species, and their gender. All behaviour depends upon both factors. A veneer of civilization can keep the barnyard dance subconscious, but it never stops. Currently, all gender issues are in a state of turmoil due to the Industrial Revolution changing the status and availability of work for women even more than for men. In the chaos, people with gender ambivalence have often been the avant garde, but they can never be the norm.
unlike other species, humans are something of a fluke in their rise to the top of the kingdom. if it were not for human intelligence, humanity would have become extinct long ago. any the strongest of men would be at a loss to a lioness if tossed naked into a deep pit with her without a tool to defend himself. so a man’s strength, is moot, unlike say that of a bear, when distinguishing the capabilities of the sexes considering the brain is the most important component to survival(man's brain is not innately stronger than a woman's, and vice versa). as such, there is nothing man can do with the freedoms of today in modern america, that woman cannot beyond performing male organ exclusive bodily functions if she is so determined. this is ideal... wouldn’t want a beloved daughter to feel hopelessly disadvantaged for not being born male if her interests are more in line with what is traditionally a male dominant field of interest even if she has to put in extra effort to physically keep up.

as for gender, the sex of woman and man are rather clearly defined, but gender itself is largely a social construct... any man can choose to cultivate the qualities they deem the best of the female gender, and any woman, the qualities they deem best of the male gender. the only thing that might dissuade them from doing so is the pressure of society to not shake the norm.

as for getting a rush of morale boosting heated blood flow , and feeling like it’d be possible to move a mountain, there’s not a whole lot more that’s been found in this life to be as exhilarating as practicing wing chun, taijiquan, japanese swordsmanship, or drawing freeform inspiration from bruce lee’s jeet kune do.


Sure, men and women are able to cultivate characteristics usually associated with the opposite gender, and we are in a period of low social inhibition in some locations, but I'm also sure that it would take a lot of nasty coerciveness to get us to average the same. Our genes have given women a larger corpus callosum, along with many other differences. Even if we were successfully homogenized, we would lose not only the inhibited natural potential, but also the possibility of symbiosis. A team always needs variety more than duplication.
Labour has always evolved toward gender-specific membership, punctuated by extreme talents whose strong inclinations overcome customs. There have always been a few Queens among the Kings, and outliers like Joan of Arc and Marie Curie. However, most of the time, a unisex work crew is better. It minimizes the distractions and power troubles in a mixed group, and gives each sex a safe space in which to discuss the other. One engineering start-up survived the first year, so the owner decided to improve the bare-bones furnishings in the office. This included "privacy panels" added to hide the secretaries' knees. The men then did 40% more work with fewer distractions. There are also strong suspicions that it was a couples' reunion while on duty that cost BC Ferries a big boat and the lives of two passengers.



ElabR8Aspie
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10 Apr 2017, 5:03 am

Not reading the posts,but for me keeping a female happy.


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babybasher
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14 Apr 2017, 7:45 pm

Walk along naked on the street. Isn't that manly enough? hahaha


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05 May 2017, 12:33 pm

I'm pretty adept at camping and survival! :wink:



MrFluffsPops
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10 Jun 2017, 1:35 am

I started to feel "manly" the second I stood up to my deepest wishes, and went on knees at our housewarming in front of the family, proposing to my fiancé.

How lame it may sound, I started from that moment to feel a deeper responsibility for start being a man figure, taking care of us, doing more "man" things around the house.

Not to mention how "badass" I felt when I chopped my first piece of wood for the fireplace (I've always been quite the weak scaredy cat)! :-)



RetroGamer87
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10 Jun 2017, 2:33 am

MrFluffsPops wrote:
I started to feel "manly" the second I stood up to my deepest wishes, and went on knees at our housewarming in front of the family, proposing to my fiancé.

How lame it may sound, I started from that moment to feel a deeper responsibility for start being a man figure, taking care of us, doing more "man" things around the house.

Not to mention how "badass" I felt when I chopped my first piece of wood for the fireplace (I've always been quite the weak scaredy cat)! :-)
It's not lame. You're already more manly than most of them guys on this forum.


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Dear_one
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12 Jun 2017, 7:17 am

From time to time, I get advice on how to deal with people, and it just does not work for me. I suspect, and my female counsellor concurs, that men and women get very different reactions when asking for sympathy, so such advice should never be assumed to be unisex. Have others here had similar problems?



Victor1985
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19 Jul 2017, 5:46 pm

Ive been told women just dont trust tears in a man. Its an instinctual thing.


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24 Jul 2017, 1:22 am

^ That is a catch 22. "They" being a blanket generalization of all women for a start, as if they're all just variations on a single theme, don't trust tears from a man, but also believe a man who never cries or shows emotion is not "in touch with his feelings" enough or is not "emotionally available enough to be vulnerable"? Yeah. Can't have it both ways.
I don't know about gender-specific responses to seeking sympathy, but I do notice that when I am being perceived as a man, being friendly it is not taken to be sexually suggestive or inviting or flirtatious, but when people take me as woman and I'm being friendly, suddenly the exact same behaviour is a sexual invitation.


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Dear_one
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24 Jul 2017, 5:15 am

"All generalizations are useless, including this one." - Mark Twain.
Of course there are always exceptions. "All women" would so seldom apply that it is used specifically, whereas "women" means "Women in general, on average."
Thanks for the bisexual perspective. It fits perfectly with the notion that women are more selective about choosing partners, while men are generally expected to be easy to seduce. This is, of course, a result of women always having to make a large biological investment in a child, while men sometimes just freshen up the gene pool and let sterile men feel like fathers. Despite huge cultural variations, a pretty steady 10% of children are misinformed about the identity of their fathers. That's usually enough to avoid fatal inbreeding in small communities, but low enough that men are highly involved in supporting children through their long dependency. Women want a partner for support, but they also want the best genes for their kids. Thus the attraction of the "bad boys" - those prone to early death as soldiers, and wandering troubadours. Women feel very justified in fooling a man into supporting otherwise fatherless children, and the courts support that. DNA tests mean nothing if a man has ever let himself be called daddy. Women will even lie about mixed-race children and get away with it so often that I've seen one hear "You are Not the Father!" on TV, and fall apart.



Yakuzamonroe
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29 Aug 2017, 6:05 pm

Yeah. with 40+ pages to read, I'm just going to take this threads purpose at face value. To h*** with anyone's issues with my lazy defiance!

So, I lift weights ...

Ok, I'm not that manly.



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30 Aug 2017, 5:16 am

Why is it men think it's ok to cry over sports? And basically nothing else? But what's with the apparently universal acceptance of sobbing over sports??? I just can't get that excited about games ...


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rvacountrysinger
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14 Sep 2017, 3:57 pm

Personally, I believe a man becomes a man when he stops focusing on himself and forgoes his own needs for others. Usually this happens when he becomes a father. Because when you have to put yourself aside and make sacrifice. Sacrifice is very manly. Not that women don't sacrifice. But a man's sacrifice is often to deny himself. I'm ready to be a Daddy now. I just need a wife of child bearing age and more steady income. That will mean I am no longer a boy, but a man.



Destabilised
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14 Sep 2017, 4:54 pm

Personally, I think someone becomes a man when they hit about 18. How they choose to portray themselves is down to them, though. Some men are just sh****er than others.



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14 Sep 2017, 5:33 pm

Destabilised wrote:
Personally, I think someone becomes a man when they hit about 18. How they choose to portray themselves is down to them, though. Some men are just sh****er than others.


18 is a child. I remember thinking at 18 that I couldn't possibly be ready for manhood. Man made laws state that we are an adult at 21. But I believe around the age of 26 is when we reach full maturity.