What the worst part of having ASD for you?

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this, and not being able to stand a hug (except on the very rarest occasions) even when i really want one.

I discussed this one with my doctor, too. It's needing to be in a controlled environment at all times. I'm fine when I'm in class, because I know, more or less, what's going to happen (questions will be asked and answered and/or a lecture will be delivered), although I'm in there with a lot of other people. I'm fine associating with my section-mates outside of class because I know, more or less, how they react to things. (We're fairly often in each other's cars, or hanging out in each other's apartments, or going out together at the end of the week...a hallmark of the law & economics crowd here is usually going out to lunch on Fridays...this is just part of the law school game.) I'm even fine hanging out alone in coffee shops and bars, so long as I know the staff, because then things are fairly predictable.

I'm not fine with crowded places full of strangers where I don't know anyone. Listening to other people's loud conversations on the train back home last night nearly gave me a heart attack, and this after having been in a supermarket with a bunch of screaming children running around and other other people's loud conversations reduced me, someone who's usually pretty good at public speaking, to a stuttering mess. Do with that what you will.

The anxiety/over-thinking everything and executive dysfunction.

Executive dysfunction.
No matter how much insight I get into my brain, it always gets in the way and makes everything a struggle.

The anxiety. It's the single most issue in my life. I'd be so much better off without the anxiety. Other than that, I'm proud to be an Aspie.

Not all NT's act spontaneous in social situations.

Of course not and some NT's stim like we do (rocking, humming etc) and have meltdowns etc. but I associate not having a social intuition with AS even if it not universal or specific to the disorder.

Communibliddycation

The sensory issues, anger, repetitive behaviours etc- I can live with all that (well, contentedly) but communication is the big thing. I hate it.

sensory issues (particulary touch and hearing) and being so easily mentally exhausted by social occasions - like an NT has a big social mug that needs lots of socialising to get fillled, but an autistic has a little tea cup that get's easily filled, and mine is rather tiny.

I don't meltdown, I shutdown.

sensory issues.. are the main problem for me.. the rest are positives IMO.. obsessions .. diferent way of thinking ect.

The Problems with anger, depression come with other people.

The part where I have to try so damn hard to pull meaning out of my surroundings, words, etc. At the same time, way-too-intimately tied to the parts I appreciate so much, it's hard to explain.

Nothing! It's absolutely frigging brilliant, oh yes.
jk

For me it's the executive dysfunction, the rest I don't really care about.

It depends on my mood, but generally in order of importance:

Anxiety, mutual misunderstanding, executive dysfunction, communication (with a little dyspraxia), attention deficit, unreal expectations (mine and others's). I can handle sensory issues and meltdowns. Stimming is no problem, it just adds a little weirdness to my personality.

For me anxiety/ social anxiety, being in a place I am unsure of like with huge crowds that causes great stress for me sensory issues for me are like high pitched type of noises and of course kids screaming.

Also the meltdowns I get so stressed can't cope or think it out .Once I have had enough I will simply shutdown this doesn't always happen like everyday but when it occurs it stops me from functioning.

1. the demands placed upon me by the external world that i find arduous and often pointless.

it is extremely unpleasant to me to have to interrupt doing what like to do in order to perform tasks that i do not like to do. it is not possible to live a life free of "chores", and everything i have to do other than what i want to do is a chore.

what most people consider to be fun, i consider to be a chore. i have 4 free days per week, and on every one of those days, something will occur that causes me to interrupt my peaceful involvement with what i have chosen to do.

i will need to eat so i have to save what i am doing, and get properly dressed and get in the car and go to the supermarket and decide what i will feed my self with and come home and cook it and then clean up and then get back to what "life" interrupted. it is a blasted nuisance to tear myself out of what i am having fun with to do mundane things. there are countless examples of what i find to be arduous chores.

2. sensory issues

my senses are not heightened (except that i can almost see ultraviolet light (the purple aura around fluorescent lights)), but somehow my brain's ability to accommodate my sensory perception is compromised.

even though i usually like repetition and it soothes me greatly, if it is a repetition of something i find annoying, then with every repetition, i will become more and more displaced from my equilibrium until i have to stop the repetitions by whatever means, without regard to any consequence.

example : today i was driving in the rain for an extended period of time and the wiper blade in front of my drivers seat had a tiny "nick" in it and every time the wiper swiped the windscreen (windshield) it left a very narrow curvilinear arc of water on the windscreen right in my focus field.
then further raindrops obliterated the "arc", and while i was relieved that i could no longer see the curvilinear water trace, i was also anxious for the next wiper sweep to swipe the windscreen because it was hard to see.
then when the wiper repeated it's swiping action, there was that f*cking arc again!! !
then it got obliterated by the intervening rain between wiper swipes relieving my angst at the arc, but intensifying my angst that i could not see where i was going, then the wiper wiped away my angst at not being able to see where i am going, and replaced it with the angst of that nerve stripping visual arc again.

this process repeated it self with the frequency of each wiper swipe. i was at screaming point and then the rain got heavier, and i had to switch my wipers to a faster speed and i freaked out and had to pull over because my mind could not accommodate the oscillation of obliteration of focus with a fine curvilinear arc of unwiped windscreen faster than i had previously been able to only barely tolerate.



3. inability to summarize effectively.
i can not say in an effective way what i have to say unless i spell out every step in the process of the compilation of my announcements.

i can not economize or optimize the slurry of words that spill from my mind of which few stick to the walls of my concepts.
people lose their attention due to the way i say what i want to say. i expect that they are hanging to hear what i say, and so i prepare an elaborate staging of the delivery of my thoughts in a developing sequence that is too slow and featureless to maintain the attention of others.
not that i want it anyway i guess.

i so often think "whatever", not because it is a buzz word, but because it fits what i feel so often.

if i had no ability to make money i would be vanquished by the rest of humanity. i need only cash to do what i want to do. i do not need love or approval.